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Got broken up with by an hb9.5

GoDJ thatsmyDJ

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You need to grab her by the collar (figuratively) and knock some sense into her.

I would tell her, "Now listen... men tend to not talk extensively about bad moments. That's how we are. We don't dwell... we overcome. Now you make a decision. If you can't get over it, then go. You will be doing me a favor if that's how you feel. You need to stop this nonsense, get off your high horse, and decide to leave or stay. I will not maintain communication with you if you decide to leave. If you decide to stay, I'll decide whether or not it is good for me to stay. Make your choice. Next time I hear from you, I want it to be your decision."

Script successfully flipped. Either that will knock her out of her little pity party, or she will leave. Either way, resolution has been achieved. No man should live in twilight, not knowing what's going on with a woman.

I can tell you though, that she is a baby and emotionally unstable. That means similar things are likely to surface in the future should you both decide to continue. Put your foot down and do not accept this nonsense.

How dare she put you in this position?

Handle your business.
Possibly the best post I’ve read. I know everything you say is dead-on. I will say that, probably almost verbatim and post the results.

Just needed a kick in the ass, because in all honesty. I actually DID want to marry this girl, but now I have real concerns. Her emotional maturity isn’t good. Sucks, because she was good enough in all the other departments for me to overlook the warning signs—but they were there. She DEFINITELY monkey branched from her ex to me. Didn’t know me before they broke up but latched onto me immediately. I told her she wasn’t ready and she needed to wait. I’ll never forget the look on her face. The way guys fall all over her, pretty sure she had never been in that position in her life. Was telling me she loved me within a month. Told me she wanted to marry me with two. Told me she wanted to have my kids in three. Started sending me pics of rings around the same time. But I really held the frame that I didn’t need anyone and was happy with myself and my own life until about 2 weeks ago when I broke down.

I’m gonna hit her with the atom smasher special and see what happens. In all honesty, I think it’s too late, at least for now. I should’ve hit her with that immediately but now it’s been a few weeks and I think that may have worked much better at in earlier point in this absurd situation.
 

GoDJ thatsmyDJ

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Another thing that makes it harder for you is the fact that she is extraordinarily good looking. About 20 years ago, I was in a relationship with a hot blond. White-hot. When we broke up, the hardest part for me was thinking that I'll never get anyone as good looking as her. It could never be possible.

Fast-forward a few months and I had another girl just as hot. In fact, the blond's good looks started diminishing in my estimation. This is because we tend to idealize the person we're involved with. Leaving them humanizes them and their faults become more apparent. We find that there are different classes of "hot". One girl is hot in a certain set of characteristics, and another has a different combination.

When we break up, we imagine that the transition from one girl to another is vertical in scale. We think that a new person will be either less hot, more hot, or about the same. It doesn't work that way in reality. The scale is horizontal. We trade one brand of "hot" for another.
This is also 100 percent true. Most guys hate it when other dudes look and their girl. I absolutely love knowing I’ve got the hottest girl in the room. I love looking down while fvcking her and thinking, holy f you’re hot.

It’s honestly my biggest concern. Doing better physically while having the same high-level connection. I’m picky AF. There’s a solid HB8 that wants me right now, and I just can’t do it man. Not ready, not hot enough, and I can’t make the downgrade. At least not right now. Wish I had the balls to post pics, but that’d be crossing the line.

She told me like 3 months in that she didn’t think that I thought she was hot. Couldn’t have been further from the truth but I played it cool. I put self doubt in a 9.5, and man does it work. But my cards are on the table now, so I don’t have that advantage anymore.

I know you’re also 100 percent right about the idealization. I’ve been looking at pics where she didn’t look that hot trying to get myself to realize, she did have flaws. But also being real, literally every guy I know wanted to fvck her when the word was out that she was single.
 

mrgoodstuff

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This is also 100 percent true. Most guys hate it when other dudes look and their girl. I absolutely love knowing I’ve got the hottest girl in the room. I love looking down while fvcking her and thinking, holy f you’re hot.

It’s honestly my biggest concern. Doing better physically while having the same high-level connection. I’m picky AF. There’s a solid HB8 that wants me right now, and I just can’t do it man. Not ready, not hot enough, and I can’t make the downgrade. At least not right now. Wish I had the balls to post pics, but that’d be crossing the line.

She told me like 3 months in that she didn’t think that I thought she was hot. Couldn’t have been further from the truth but I played it cool. I put self doubt in a 9.5, and man does it work. But my cards are on the table now, so I don’t have that advantage anymore.

I know you’re also 100 percent right about the idealization. I’ve been looking at pics where she didn’t look that hot trying to get myself to realize, she did have flaws. But also being real, literally every guy I know wanted to fvck her when the word was out that she was single.
Yea but is that 8's body fine enough? Your c0ck needs a home for now.
 

GoDJ thatsmyDJ

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Her body is 9+, face 7. But her body is slammin. She looks like. 9-10 from like 30 feet away, but is more like an 8 when you see her face without sunglasses. But when my ex saw her, she lost her sh_t. She literally said, “ I saw you with a younger, hotter version of me, you move really quickly. And I told her, that she broke it off with me, and not to make assumptions. Admitted nothing, because it’s none of her biz. That new girl wants me, and she doesn’t so she doesn’t get to comment. She went off, and told me to fvck whoever I want, and have fun and that I should be sorry for the rest of my life for what I gave up with her and that she can’t believe that I work so quickly and found someone else. Accused me of cheating, and lying and so much sh!t, all of which wasn’t true. Truth be told, my ex was hotter but new girl is younger with a really really good body. About as good as it gets, so she was really pissed. She was ranting, and started to say, I saw you with a young, blond hot girl, but stopped herself when she was about to say hot. Asked me her name, who she was, where she lived, how I knew her. Really lost her sh-t.

For what it’s worth I wasn’t trying to rub it in her face— im not an *******. I feel badly that it hurt her, but at the same time, I’m single and can do whatever I want and don’t have to answer to her. Never did, but especially not now.

The 8s body is good enough, but I’ll want better at some point. I need the 9 face
And 9 body, and I’ll get it. Thanks DJs. Today kinda sucked, but was also highly validating. And yeah, I got laid. ;)
 

GoDJ thatsmyDJ

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Ywah
Abundance is the main in that situation in my view.

Very tempted to post pics right now. I went out with a 10 (by my type) who I broke up with. Then I was out cold approaching, was in a supermarket, went to approach an attractive woman, and it was her. So I left.

She really was just another girl at that point. It was a question of form. Being in top form this sort of thing isn't really sh1t. It's like one afternoon's thought when you are on it. You aren't going to be in top form straight after a break up.
Yeah, definitely not in top form. Just kinda faking it until I make it which is really the most I can do.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Abundance is the main in that situation in my view.

Very tempted to post pics right now. I went out with a 10 (by my type) who I broke up with. Then I was out cold approaching, was in a supermarket, went to approach an attractive woman, and it was her. So I left.

She really was just another girl at that point. It was a question of form. Being in top form this sort of thing isn't really sh1t. It's like one afternoon's thought when you are on it. You aren't going to be in top form straight after a break up.
That's why you saddle up in new puszy asap. The longer you stay out the greater your fall.
 

GoDJ thatsmyDJ

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I'll bet everything I worked for she wasn't a 9.5
You’d lose, but I’m not positing a pic. I’ve dated an international super model with 10 million IG followers. This girl was hotter imo, although that comes down to preference probably. 9+ are out there. And plenty of them have boyfriends. Her body was perfect, looked like she had plastic surgery but it was real. Perkiest D tits I’ve ever seen, defied gravity, and she was 29. Looked like she was 18. Perfect skin and Ridic genetics. Didn’t work out much but looked like she hadn’t missed a day in years. Honestly kinda pissed me off lol. I workout so damn much.

I’ll get another one. I’ve done it before. But thought this one was it. Really want to post a pic but I can’t do it. Every guy I know thought she was a 10. I personally don’t really think 10s exist. But you’re Just gonna have to take my word for it.

@Mauser96 for sure bro. Either way, I don’t know if I want her back at this point. Missing the awesome sex though. She was a freak. I’m gonna go have a good cry and jerk off before my date tonight. Haha.
 

PeasantPlayer

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You’d lose, but I’m not positing a pic. I’ve dated an international super model with 10 million IG followers. This girl was hotter imo, although that comes down to preference probably. 9+ are out there. And plenty of them have boyfriends. Her body was perfect, looked like she had plastic surgery but it was real. Perkiest D tits I’ve ever seen, defied gravity, and she was 29. Looked like she was 18. Perfect skin and Ridic genetics. Didn’t work out much but looked like she hadn’t missed a day in years. Honestly kinda pissed me off lol. I workout so damn much.

I’ll get another one. I’ve done it before. But thought this one was it. Really want to post a pic but I can’t do it. Every guy I know thought she was a 10. I personally don’t really think 10s exist. But you’re Just gonna have to take my word for it.

@Mauser96 for sure bro. Either way, I don’t know if I want her back at this point. Missing the awesome sex though. She was a freak. I’m gonna go have a good cry and jerk off before my date tonight. Haha.
Sure you did
 

GoDJ thatsmyDJ

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Dude the more you talk to her in this emotional tampon frame you will blow this up. Mark my words my friend. Set a date. Get off the phone and have fun with her, well no...not her so much but you. Just take her with you. Women don't live in the past. Especially healthy hot ones.
She’s hot, but her emotional and mental stability is coming into question. Our relationship faced no bumps in the road before this, so I never saw these qualities first-hand.

I already tried to take her on a date and cannot get her to go. All she does is keep asking me to talk about the past(in person) and cannot get past it. All of my female friends know what happened and can’t belueve she ended it.

The more I look at this objectively, the more red flags I see now, that I missed...aside from the first one. That really pissed me off, and I gave it to her but it was unresolved:
1. Brought up one night at dinner, out of the blue that she wouldn’t sign a prenup. Under any circumstances.
2. Was sending pics of rings within 3 mos. big ones.
3. Bitched about her ex boyfriends all the fvxking time. Is still angry with guys from several years ago, and both of them had garbage SMV. Were both losers in every category that matters.
4. Cares what other people think so much that’s she’s incapable of making a decision for herself. Her parents and friends really liked me, and that played into my favor until she talked a buncha sh!t about me recently and my frame is ruined there now. Her mom told me that she went around bragging about me to her friends and sisters all the time, and that is now off the table.
5. Her friends are all pretty low grade. All use drugs, have crap jobs, and no higher aspirations. She did not do any drugs for what it’s worth.
6. Everytime she got tipsy, she’d ask me if I really liked her and if I was sure I didn’t still want to bang other girls. This is because I was spinning plates real hard when we met, but I assure you, I gave her no reason to worry and a lot of validation.
7. When we broke up, she told me she was never going to date again and was just going to have a baby and move into a small apartment.

Looks, HB9.5. Sex 9+. Bullish!t in the face of a problem, 10+.

Before this, I really kept my frame intact. But the moment I lost it even for a short period of time, her temper, inability to deal with problems, and unresolved past issues came up in a big way.

I’m primarily dealing with the idea that I may not be able to find someone hotter. There’s many 9s in the sea, but she was my particular brand of 9, and had many natural physical qualities that are exceedingly challenging to find. A super hot girl isn’t all I’m looking for, but it’s part of it. If I don’t feel like I have the hottest girl in the room, and one of the hottest girls I’ve slept with, I am unsatisfied. I can’t help it, and don’t want to—maybe that makes me a ahole, but I’m just being honest.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Female interaction is not part of masculinity.

Masculinity naturally attracts females to interact with it.
So the equal level masculine dude that doesnt get ***** cause his game sucks. Vs the other equal guy who gets ***** is the same?
 

17 shots

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I already tried to take her on a date and cannot get her to go. All she does is keep asking me to talk about the past(in person) and cannot get past it
So then why don't you just talk to her about it then in person? That seems like a simple request
 

Spaz

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So the equal level masculine dude that doesnt get ***** cause his game sucks. Vs the other equal guy who gets ***** is the same?
A muscular man doesn't equal masculinity.

Masculinity is a state of mind.

A mascular man who has little to no manly traits will need lots of game - tricks to even have a chance at a girl.
 

GoDJ thatsmyDJ

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Sure you did
It’d be way cooler if I didn’t!

Yeah no doubt. She texted me last night. Didn’t respond. Saw me walking down the street today, and crossed the street to talk to me. But no olive branches were extended from either of us. I definitely won’t give her the satisfaction. She just said hi. I said hi. That was about it. She said she doesn’t know what else to do other than rehash the past at this point. At which point I told her I wasn’t interested in that and kept walking. We live and work LESS THAN 1 block within each other which is less than ideal. Run into her all the damn time.
So then why don't you just talk to her about it then in person? That seems like a simple request
I would agree, but everytime I meet up with her, it’s her crying and saying she can’t get over the broken trust, which is fvcking ridiculous. Cannot and will not move on which = nobody gets laid and a bad time.

Not saying that finding another 9.5 is easy, because imo a 9.5 is the 1% of the 1%. But I can do it again. I just don’t really want to smash lesser girls in the meantime but also I really like having sex every day. Anything that was an 8 or better was fine for a plate before but I don’t even really want to put the effort in for anyone I see as less attractive. It’s been about a solid 5yrs since I’ve had a 9.5. I had a guy come up to me the other day and really laid it on how she was one of the hottest girls he had seen in the major city I live in. That fvcking killed me, tbh bc it’s true. I really wish I was embellishing her hotness, but when I got her every guy I know was trying to bang her. So I really keep getting stuck in the same spot if how can I do better? I developed a strong rep of banging a different girl every night when we met. And I acted as if I didn’t give sh!t, even though she was the hottest. She begged me to date just her. I have no doubt this attracted her to me—even though the transition from spinning plates to dating her wasn’t easy. She really doubted my ability to be monogamous, even though, once I found a worthy partner and make that commitment it was very easy. I just kinda am opposed to the idea of fvxking girls that are less hot. It’s a bummer.
 
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