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I'm in somewhat of a similar situation. I'm with a woman who is slightly older than I am and makes slightly more money than I do. She is also a very high interest.Wasn't sure if I should make this thread. I'm probably overthinking things because so far everything's been great. But I've been delving into Patrice O'Neal and part of me in the back of my head thinks this "relationship" is ultimately doomed, but I'll describe it if only to get some input from you guys who know what you're talking about.
I'd prefer to hear responses from guys who know what they're talking about; successful guys who have slept with a lot of very attractive women and have had successful relationships or marriages. I know there's no way to verify that you posting are any of these things, but I hope those of you who do decide to say something fit that framework.
Anyway, I'm 27 and she's recently 32. We met off Tinder. I know. We texted back and forth for about a week and decided to hang out. She lives about an hour away and has her own place. First night I visit is a Tuesday we talk for a bit, drink some wine, end up having really great sex and I stay over. We have some more sex in the morning and we go to a diner where she treats me to breakfast and we part ways. I keep in communication with her and we decide to see each other again that weekend. Since then I've spent every weekend (sometimes 1 day, sometimes 2) with the exception of a 2-week period where we both caught COVID.
Here are the facts:
She's older than me. She lives an hour away and has her own house and stuff. She got out of a 10-year relationship about 8 months ago due to repeated cheating on the boyfriend's part. She's slept with 7 guys and I was both her first night stand, and later, the first guy she ever had unprotected sex with. She does not know my body count (75 I think) and has not asked me for that info. She is SIGNIFICANTLY better off financially which is why she tries to pay for things when it comes to me and her friends, I try not to let her because I don't want that to be the dynamic but I'm talking about this woman makes about 500k/year and has offered to buy me a car. She is manic depressive bipolar, meaning she has high highs and really bad low depressing lows, but she takes medication for it so she hasn't had any issues since her relationship. She is adopted and has I think 16 non-biological siblings under 2 lesbian mothers. She had seen a guy from her past after she first hooked up with me, with the expectation that she probably wouldn't see me again - apparently this guy has been trying to lock her down for a long time but she just uses him for sex when she and her boyfriend would take breaks. She is very attractive and likes the attention of men but doesn't like giving herself to them - I've seen this by the hundreds of matches and thirsty Snapchats guys send her that she blows off.
Anyway I'm probably getting too granular but I've been seeing her for about 2 months most weekends and we always have a good time with some alcohol, lots of sex, and just being sweet and treating each other well. However, I'm an aspiring actor/model that's had a difficult time, so I've been working a part time job for flexibility, struggling to break into the market as a newer real estate agent, and live at home with my parents. She is aware of this and doesn't mind since she grew up poor and likes paying for her friends because she doesn't see the point of being rich by herself.
Like I mentioned, things have been going great but I worry about the potential future I may or may not have with this woman. Right now we are not in a relationship but I haven't bothered seeing other girls since her, and aside from the one time with the guy from her past she's cut off ties with the other guys trying to get with her too. She wants me to get my real estate license in her state since she's a wealthy project manager and can hand off houses for me to sell. She wants to buy me a new car because mine sucks and I always treat her really well so she wants to make it up to me. This worries me a bit because from what I've listened to from Patrice O'Neal women want somebody above them, they want somebody greater than them - they want a man who's their king, not to be the queen and have some random man...so I'm looking at trying to change my financial situation.
Aside from that, I took her out last weekend and we got really drunk and I learned some things. She told me how excited she gets when I text her near the weekend since she knows she's about to see me soon. She tells me I gave her back her "fire" that she lost when dating her boyfriend and wasn't used to getting genuine compliments about her being attractive as this guy used to put her down. But she also worries that her being older has us at different stages in life and that I should meet somebody closer to where I'm at, and that she feels she doesn't deserve me.
Again, we were absolutely wasted. It was reassuring to hear how much of an impact I've made and how much she cares, but I'm concerned long-term about the income and how much the age gap bothers her - although she has said she's never dated an older guy anyway.
So this is a lot, I know. I'm basically wanting to play this out and see how far things go because she's gorgeous and a real sweetheart compared to most of the women I've been with. The income and age differences are what might be concern me the most, and how I'd overcome those.
I'm probably overthinking this way too much, nothing's wrong now, I'm just looking to the future.
Looking forward to see what you guys might have to say. If anything needs elaboration feel free to ask, I'll be checking this thread now and then and I'll do my best to reply.
I get where you're coming from but I'm still just looking for input from people on how this would work in any sort of long-term capacity. I know to expect difficulties, just looking at how to overcome them in the future.Attention wh-oring plus bipolar means sex only
That's just me overthinking and being analytical. I think in a very granular way, probably because I'm very observant and not particularly lucky, so I hone in on things that COULD f*** things up so I'm prepared for them, even if they're unlikely.I'm not saying don't diddle this milf. All i'm saying stop obsessing about her. All the information you give, all the little details. They should not matter to you. Take them as they come, in the meantime keep living your life.
Yeah I try to insist on paying for things when I'm treating her, and I only really let her pay for the meal sometimes or for drinks. This last weekend she INSISTED on paying me back for getting the hotel room and for being charged the late checkout penalty due to our hangovers...like she shoved the money into my jean pockets.I'm in somewhat of a similar situation. I'm with a woman who is slightly older than I am and makes slightly more money than I do. She is also a very high interest.
Do not concern yourself with income. The fact that you found a hot woman who is this high interest AND isn't an entitled brat or a brainwashed feminist is extremely uncommon. That itself is worth more than money, and you don't need to be worried about her being a gold-digger. Your financial situation WILL change as you get older, so long as you put in the effort.
Don't let her pay for things for you unless it's food, drinks or silly trinkets. Carry your own weight and make your own way when it comes to all big purchases.
Age difference is also not a problem. The younger you date, the more brainwashed and fickle she's likely to be.
On the downside of what you've said, the bipolar thing can be a problem, you're going to get a shock when (not if) you see it in action. If the relationship ever were to progress that far, the hormone fairy can FVCK UP bipolar women if they ever go thru pregnancy. But I base that only on anecdotal evidence.
The comment about her not deserving you is also a yellow or red flag. It's telling of her insecurities and I've never had great luck with women who think like this, but that's only ever become a problem in the long run.
Lastly, high interest women don't want someone that is higher up than them: some King. They want you. My gf thinks that I'm hotter than George Clooney. I'm objectively not anywhere near as hot as him in my own mind, but I'm not about to argue the point with her.
PS: be very careful pursuing an acting/modelling career without having a solid backup plan. That source of income is very fickle for 99.9% of actors
How it works is, it doesn't work long term unless you don't mind being a spineless punching bagI get where you're coming from but I'm still just looking for input from people on how this would work in any sort of long-term capacity. I know to expect difficulties, just looking at how to overcome them in the future
Thanks for this.
I understand and agree with most red-pill concepts. The difference for me is that I usually genuinely like and care for the women I hook up with, if we stop seeing each other it's because she left me due to not seeing a future as I'm generally noncommittal. I know there's a lot of fakers out there but I most subscribe to stuff by Patrice O'Neal and have listened to bits and pieces of Rollo. Otherwise it's personal experience having dealt with a lot of women and knowing what to expect and being able to move on quickly while having difficulty truly trusting and loving a woman.
I don't have prospects so much as I have women I could revisit, granted they are at a much greater distance...I live in Delaware and have to travel about 30 minutes for decent nightlife every time I want to go out, and most venues are overcrowded with guys and the few girls there generally aren't attractive to the level that I usually pursue. More often than not I go home by myself. My gym has a handful of attractive girls but the ones I've talked to are in relationships, and then there's the dating apps where I happened on this gem, but usually I expect matches to lose interest before meeting or get cold feet at the last moment. It's a little rough where I live currently.
As far as the second part of that question - she's very wealthy and wants to help me out; wants to buy me a new car, wants me to get licensed in her state so she can hand properties off to me to sell, wants to teach me about stocks and help me build a portfolio. My only real red flag to her is that I'm financially unhappy and living with my parents, but she seems to be able to relate to that since she was born poor and often is paying for her friends that are in a similar situation as myself.
I'm definitely cautious about the situation. This week has felt a little different and that's what I'm probably overthinking. Last weekend was pretty great, as described, and left off well. I even sent her a coffee the other day through UberEats as a congratulations on doing well in her first final, she thought it was super sweet and really appreciated that. I mentioned before that I can probably chalk it up to her being busy with work and having 3 finals this week, but she's been less good about texting/Snapchatting and we had the first day go by this week with no contact in the 2 months that I've been talking to her. So that felt a bit odd, I'm waiting for her to hit me back today so I can confirm she's free this weekend like with what EyeBRollin said. If I don't hear from her today I'll check in tomorrow and if she declines then maybe something is up. But otherwise...likely overthinking things since this is a little new...
Do you have a link to this thread? I'm not sure if I should read it and come out with a pessimistic mindset, or if it would help me kinda foresee what might end up happening. Like I said I understand what I'm potentially getting into and willing to take that risk to see how it plays out since she's been so wonderful to me compared to lots of other girls I'd been with. I keep myself emotionally a little distant from people since my first real relationship ended in a way that kinda scarred me in terms of trusting people I care about...so I'm not worried about being hurt there really. As long as it doesn't hurt my physical well-being, she's much wealthier and I don't see this hurting me financially or emotionally as I just stated.
But otherwise I agree...like how she loves the validation from her hundreds of Tinder matches, Snapchats, and texts, but so far as only given herself to me.
Check the response I quoted for Modern Man, where I live is kinda dry and I have to go out of my way to even shoot my shot at women. This woman lives about an hour away and I've been regularly visited to get great sex, really drunk, and treated well. I don't expect that to last forever but I've been having a much better time with her than I've had with any other girl in recent memory.
I haven't dealt with this before so I admit to being clueless about this but I just fail to see how dealing with somebody who has this disorder and medicates for it leads to becoming their punching bag, emotionally or physically.How it works is, it doesn't work long term unless you don't mind being a spineless punching bag
Maybe I'll read through that thread then. As mentioned at the top there I'm not really sure what's going on or what might've changed but this just feels a little odd.Warning: This is a long one. This is a little summary of the break up process of my LTR of the past 1 year 3 months. In addition to this being a way to cope for me by writing it out without every detail, this is for all the men who have hope for a certain girl, get emotionally attached to...www.sosuave.net
As @LARaiders85 said, it brings you to a big high but over time, you start noticing your entire self dwindling away. It's easy to say that "it won't happen to me" because looking at me, I see my self a top 10% guy and even I couldn't handle it after over a year. The money thing is a plus but you could get screwed in that regard too. These people have a common trend. They say they'll die for you in the beginning and then they'll try to ruin your life any way possible if you fall too deep and realize that you need to get tf out. Tread carefully. Not pessimistic. Realistic.
Well you will find out. We generally do need to learn the hard way. I learned at age 23. At least you will know who to talk to and what to look for when things go south, compared to how blind I was to it all.I haven't dealt with this before so I admit to being clueless about this but I just fail to see how dealing with somebody who has this disorder and medicates for it leads to becoming their punching bag, emotionally or physically.
I said it before. I dealization phase of a borderline. You need to get the **** outshe treats me better than 90% of the women I've been with