Great response for the parts that reveal your history. Have you ever read the book "Lying" by Sam Harris? It gives some interesting perspective on white lies and bigger ones. The things we delude ourselves with, and in-turn others just for the sake of "keeping peace". If we want to be truthful and fully seen, uncalibrated honesty can be difficult and dare I say destructive. It's a true skill to be clearly honest with tact. Keeping our harder truths still soft enough for our partner or selves to grow from. I've had my tangles with dishonesty too.
Flow, really only girls feel the need to keep things private because of their dualistic mating strategy. I'm a girl and self-aware with faults I know I need to change to gain a companion/partner ever again in my life and I'm interested in taking accountability.
Its a bit unusual for you to be so defensive about privacy if you're indeed a guy, because your woman would never pry anyways....since you're a dominant male and she's submissive and compliant, correct?
It really depends on the woman, how dominant she is too. Just because you're dominant to one female, doesn't mean you will be to another. It is a spectrum based on those two people's individual make-ups and social standings. I'm dominant, but next to Mike Tyson, or a skilled female attorney? I'm not. I'd probably get ripped up in both cases, depending on what we're doing or I would fall into their frame based on many factors of what I've done with my life and social accolades, IQ, and such.
And just because one can be a dominant male, doesn't mean a woman who is submissive won't get insecure and pry. Those aren't mutually exclusive. I've had very submissive women rifle through my phone, closet, memory boxes, etc. And it was very alarming and destructive to how I saw her and the emotional safety which was no longer intact for me. Her respect diminished in my eyes. And the reason she did that was solely to possess me. And that insecurity can damage an otherwise good relationship because of a matter of factors she personally deals with, like some you stated you did above. It's a form of recklessness.
I'm not defensive about privacy, I believe in it. Huge difference. I believe we each have our own independent and autonomous lives from our partners, which is sacred for me. Not everything that's mine needs to be divulged. Not because of shadiness, but for the respect of my own world apart from another. Anyone. I have to always recognize and honor myself first before engaging with another. I've been that crazy open person before and it left me feeling resentment toward myself. So experience has taught me boundaries, not because of dominance or something other which bolsters my ego. If I'm going to have a relationship with another, there needs to be uncompromised trust.
If both people have respect for the relationship and others, chances are they won't do anything to compromise that. People here can blast that all they want, but really we just subscribe to different views in relationships. One isn't wrong or right. It's just a different make-up based on personal experiences. Blue/Red Pill? Nah. It's apart from that. People use that argument to disable another view around here and to use a blanket idea to propel and buttress their view because they deem it right based on Rollo or A greater belief which many have subscribed to. I understand a fair amount of this stuff, but never will, fully, like anyone here, as there are too many nuances with each individual and some things need to be canceled out. Full red-pill theory can be deeply dogmatic, like any belief. Humans are too complex to boil down to number points and quick videos. Or do this or just do that. Doesn't work. And that's why arguments will always ensue.
So if a person needs to dig, dig, dig? That has little to do with me and more to do with her or him. So therefore it's not my job to enable her poor behavior and insecurities. Especially if I'm being open with my words, actions, and intents by showing up.
If a woman is being shifty with questions, pausing often, etc. She probably has something to hide. And in that case? It's probably not for me. But if you're tactful with questions and a great listener you will be able to get them to trip up, because lies (as you know) have a way of stabbing you from the inside.