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stringpuller

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Asking for phones is a sure-fire way to lose a war
No one said this dude. You are reaching. It went over your head...you think inquiring of a cell phone means asking for it.
Frame is everything. Including the phone
 

stringpuller

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I know. It's best to just let them run wild in their dogmatic views, as they need to believe some stale, personally unchallenged beliefs. But hey, that's where they're at, and we hold different views because of our own individual journeys. Yet, on both our paths we will still do our own respective battles. But I think it's best to choose your battles extremely wisely as Sun Tzu would suggest. Ones that may lead to greater growth, and understanding, rather than complete destruction. Asking for phones is a sure-fire way to lose a war. But a battle perceivably lost in the moment, however, framed, by not giving up your boundaries will show your counterpart decisive character and your intrinsic honor. What many - string - fail to see is that it's not about a device or a transitory belief. It's about sovereignty and wholeness. Integrity.

I think that remaining objective is critical to living a truly abundant life, for the self, whilst positively influencing others by virtue of conducting in a whole self-respecting manner. I think what string fails to see is that he would never allow a woman to rifle through his phone to keep tabs on him; as that would be 'blue-pill beta' behavior, as goes the mantra around manosphere parts. Balls in a jar. Yet, he would be justified by keeping it 'real red pill' by having her give up her autonomy based on the insecurity of future destruction, yet all the while not realizing his actions are wielding the sword which will lead to his demise of that specific endeavor and by proxy other enterprises which would soon be unraveled due to the first loss. Double standards will always lead to mayhem at one point or another.

But to each their own. His strings are just being pulled, but he plays a sad tune in this thread. It's best we have sympathy and direct our brother to higher learning by osmosis. And if not? He will learn in time. It is the greatest teacher, so they say.
And Flow? What part of "In my frame on my cell plan" did you miss??
Let me introduce you to my co worker Rick who dated so and so for 5 years and she begged for the ring....
Totally submissive cutie....lo and behold come to find out miss beg for a ring just 2 years in is pounding out the coffee shop co worker guy...
And how did he find out?
YES YES Yes he checked what?? The cell records lol and guess what? He imediately kicked her the fck out. And now is dating a different chick.

Your welcome and like Darius...a real life example of the truth he is screening for. If you knew what screening was that is.
 

Black Widow Void

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Captain save a poster. Lol
You both are WRONG. Own it dude. The RP is bitter in the mouth and sour to the stomach. You get that part yet?
To newer members and/or those perhaps with not a lot of experience
I ask you...
If the dude above ... can get this worked up over another dude's posting (and it's not as though he and I personally know each other)
.... could you seriously be convinced that this dude is actually a pro or in control with women in real life?

I'm a male internet stranger and read above at how worked up I made him. Women in real life would eat this guy alive.
 

TheFinalLine

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It’s not too red pill for me. I don’t know how you jump to that?

It is in fact crossing boundaries and going in to ones privacy. They don’t owe you that because a guy feels entitled. No one is entitled to any sort of cyber viewing if it’s not openly given. That’s actually a level and factor in trust. Asking a woman to see her phone in a random circumstance Because one is feeling insecure is just messed up, to me.

If she has behaviours which are shifty which put you on edge, she obviously isn’t compatible or simply doesn’t care about how you feel. I today, don’t need to ask to see her texts to confirm her somewhat clear disinterest.

If you’re curious if she’s talking to other men, ask her. But if you have to ask clearly you want the relationship more than she does. And if it comes out that she was in fact talking to men when you asked her, she lied. And liars of certain circumstances should be dismissed, especially in the notes context.

If she says yes she is talking to others, and you wanted exclusivity, back off and go spin plates, and continue to back off until she signals higher interest and commitment (if ever).
If you’re already together and you know she’s actively seeking attention, you step out or step back out of exclusivity. Because she wasn’t worthy of your time and attention to greater extent.
Asking to see her phone is straight-up possessive. It’s not some transcended level of red pill. That’s just a justification for snooping and watching your back, but it’s rooted in selfishness and fear.
Here privacy ends where your commitment and RESOURCES begin. She knows she’s devious. She knows she will wreck anything and everything if left to her own devices. She knows this.

Just stay non-committed. You are too delusional yet. All that talk about privacy is socially induced and socially manufactured specifically for women to execute their their dualistic biologically sexual strategy.
I do get what your saying. But it doesn’t work and you will get wrecked.
 

flowtheory

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Here privacy ends where your commitment and RESOURCES begin. She knows she’s devious. She knows she will wreck anything and everything if left to her own devices. She knows this.

Just stay non-committed. You are too delusional yet. All that talk about privacy is socially induced and socially manufactured specifically for women to execute their their dualistic biologically sexual strategy.
I do get what your saying. But it doesn’t work and you will get wrecked.
No ones privacy ends. Respect is always a part of a healthy relationship. There are no trade-offs for boundaries.

Staying non-committed is respecting her rights to her privacy. Being overly committed is being entitled to someone’s rights.
If privacy isn’t a thing or is just geared for women, I hope the government or big corporations exploit your social media, bank, and other personal accounts (Like SS) for the close peers to see who you really are under a thinly masked persona you and everyone else presents to the real world.

Like I stated in a previous post. If she’s two timing you, it will be blatantly obvious to see and sense. I wouldn’t need a text message to tell me what my gut already knows. And if I’m weary? I’ll ask her straight up and her non-verbal body language will tell me.

Asking for a phone is just confirming your suspicions. And if there’s nothing on it? What does that make you look like? Strong, noble, trustworthy; or...?

You’re coming from a fear based approach, where I’m coming from a moralIstic landscape. Our conversation points miss each other by a mile. We can agree to disagree.
I do respect your choices to act and choose as you please, even though they do not resonate with me. It’s simply a difference in views is all.
 
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TheFinalLine

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No ones privacy ends. Respect is always a part of a healthy relationship. There are no trade-offs for boundaries.

Staying non-committed is respecting her rights to her privacy. Being overly committed is being entitled to someone’s rights.
If privacy isn’t a thing or is just geared for women, I hope the government or big corporations exploit your social media, bank, and other personal accounts (Like SS) for the close peers to see who you really are under a thinly masked persona you and everyone else presents to the real world.

Like I stated in a previous post. If she’s two timing you, it will be blatantly obvious to see and sense. I wouldn’t need a text message to tell me what my gut already knows. And if I’m weary? I’ll ask her straight up and her non-verbal body language will tell me.

Asking for a phone is just confirming your suspicions. And if there’s nothing on it? What does that make you look like? Strong, noble, trustworthy; or...?
You mistake me for a man who believes in traditional “relationships”. I do not. But I think you should go forth and live your belief. Go see.
 

flowtheory

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You mistake me for a man who believes in traditional “relationships”. I do not. But I think you should go forth and live your belief. Go see.
Well, when the conversation is about relationships, you're chiming in about untraditional, non-commital relationships, why? Just to express an opinion? Okay, thanks. I appreciate your contribution to the thread.
 

TheFinalLine

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Well, when the conversation is about relationships, you're chiming in about untraditional, non-commital relationships, why? Just to express an opinion? Okay, thanks. I appreciate your contribution to the thread.
Why? Because you or any man wanting a relationship, your mind leads you to faulty and very dangerous thinking.
Your concepts are formulated and promoted by the feminine imperative.

It is set up to shame and prevent you from discovering her dualistic sexual activities. In fact, if you discovered her cheating activities from snooping, she can scream “you’ve invaded my privacy!!!” To you and others, and it wipes clean the cheating activity in the eyes of others within the social construct.

At the very least they would be considered crimes of equal magnitude. She cheated BUT you invaded her privacy. They cancel each other out. I’ve seen this with my own eyes. Or she can say “we were only teasing and messing around and you took it wrong” or “It’s not what you think.” Plausible deniability. You actually haven’t caught her but you are guilty of an even more serious crime, invading her privacy.

Why do you think the “privacy” thing got so huge socially? It wasn’t that way way when I was coming up in the 80’s. Privacy from companies and government? I agree with you. But her privacy ends at your RESOURCES. You are going to get eaten alive. But it may be necessary for you to understand these things. If she doesn’t conform to your world and build with you? She is worthless.
 
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TheFinalLine

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And Flow? What part of "In my frame on my cell plan" did you miss??
Let me introduce you to my co worker Rick who dated so and so for 5 years and she begged for the ring....
Totally submissive cutie....lo and behold come to find out miss beg for a ring just 2 years in is pounding out the coffee shop co worker guy...
And how did he find out?
YES YES Yes he checked what?? The cell records lol and guess what? He imediately kicked her the fck out. And now is dating a different chick.

Your welcome and like Darius...a real life example of the truth he is screening for. If you knew what screening was that is.
This is sooooo common it is down right scary as hell for the average cuckable.

This is a very good tactic by the woman. Her begging for a ring will register in the man’s mind as “loves me and loyal to me”. The boyfriend/husband is locked down for her survival. “Resources and safety”, the first half of her dualistic sexual strategy and then she can breed with side men IF they enter her zone of opportunity. The second half of her dualistic sexual strategy. It’s almost perfect.

Do you ever wonder how many hard working men have fallen for this? Thinking she loves him because she begged to be his wife? From the viewpoint of the average man this couldn’t be more sinister. If it wasn’t so tragic for men it would be hilarious.
 

stringpuller

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This is sooooo common it is down right scary as hell for the average cuckable.

This is a very good tactic by the woman. Her begging for a ring will register in the man’s mind as “loves me and loyal to me”. The boyfriend/husband is locked down for her survival. “Resources and safety”, the first half of her dualistic sexual strategy and then she can breed with side men IF they enter her zone of opportunity. The second half of her dualistic sexual strategy. It’s almost perfect.

Do you ever wonder how many hard working men have fallen for this? Thinking she loves him because she begged to be his wife? From the viewpoint of the average man this couldn’t be more sinister. If it wasn’t so tragic for men it would be hilarious.
Exactly because they fall for the "your just too jealous" shaming and are embarrassed to act like the bad boy.
Walking away has its time and so does laying down hard boundaries. Hard have to come boundaries come first.

Another coworker who is 26 just fell for the buy a 5k ring lol. Her family pressured him. He caved.

I spent 300 bucks on my wife's ring and I'm perfectly ok with that. And yes she's on my phone plan.
 

stringpuller

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To newer members and/or those perhaps with not a lot of experience
I ask you...
If the dude above ... can get this worked up over another dude's posting (and it's not as though he and I personally know each other)
.... could you seriously be convinced that this dude is actually a pro or in control with women in real life?

I'm a male internet stranger and read above at how worked up I made him. Women in real life would eat this guy alive.
Don't confuse me getting worked up with the way i type. I share facts with you void. Facts are neutral.
Darius knows women...period. his content is very good. And as far as the phone gig.
Remember this.
Cuckholdry is assymetrical....controlling the phone is akin to controlling the birth.
As Rollo wrote in his iron rules.
A woman that does not obey your words when you want her to out of respect for your leading is a woman thats not good for you. Its a NEXT and thats what Darius is screening for.
 

metalwater

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So, what we appear to have is again a difference of experiences and a retelling of reality based on what has been experienced.

my belief based on experience, perhaps different than exactly for others.

Privacy in an LTR is bad. The way to keep someone honest that intends to be such is by verifications and knowing that they will occur. The best case is just one shared phone. Now that doesn't work out any longer, but shared passwords and open/common access to EACH OTHERS phone is the clean way. I am assuming the goal is to have a clean LTR from both sides. A side comment is that these apps with disappearing pics and txt is just insane... and created exactly for these reasons....

Privacy can be achieved in so many ways and is always the root cause of these transgressions. It is really difficult to execute on dual strategy if there is no privacy. In theory, no privacy is needed for a fully committed LTR. When privacy is inserted, then is the time for play...

Why would anyone need to keep something private from the life long partner that is openly committed to defend and care for them? Both directions. It is not a case of need to know, but a case of why need to be private.

It is EVEN OK to have opposite-sex friends. But not in PRIVATE. For the most part... need to be private(usually) to fck.

Private = plate.
Shared Access and Accountability = LTR.

I wish I understood this long time ago....

Accountability is everything... Trust is based on emotion.

For the record, I have tried the Trust in the past, several times and never learned. I believe others will teach trust until bitten hard enough, and then will also change. I also used to teach it. No disrespect intended, opinions will hold until a person has personal evidence of how it goes.

Not being private with phone will help to keep honest, but there is still other private things.
 

christie

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So, what we appear to have is again a difference of experiences and a retelling of reality based on what has been experienced.

my belief based on experience, perhaps different than exactly for others.

Privacy in an LTR is bad. The way to keep someone honest that intends to be such is by verifications and knowing that they will occur. The best case is just one shared phone. Now that doesn't work out any longer, but shared passwords and open/common access to EACH OTHERS phone is the clean way. I am assuming the goal is to have a clean LTR from both sides. A side comment is that these apps with disappearing pics and txt is just insane... and created exactly for these reasons....

Privacy can be achieved in so many ways and is always the root cause of these transgressions. It is really difficult to execute on dual strategy if there is no privacy. In theory, no privacy is needed for a fully committed LTR. When privacy is inserted, then is the time for play...

Why would anyone need to keep something private from the life long partner that is openly committed to defend and care for them? Both directions. It is not a case of need to know, but a case of why need to be private.

It is EVEN OK to have opposite-sex friends. But not in PRIVATE. For the most part... need to be private(usually) to fck.

Private = plate.
Shared Access and Accountability = LTR.

I wish I understood this long time ago....

Accountability is everything... Trust is based on emotion.

For the record, I have tried the Trust in the past, several times and never learned. I believe others will teach trust until bitten hard enough, and then will also change. I also used to teach it. No disrespect intended, opinions will hold until a person has personal evidence of how it goes.

Not being private with phone will help to keep honest, but there is still other private things.
I agree.

Could be the most important screening judgement.

What's their attitude to privacy and why.



Allow them time to explain why they need whatever privacy....maybe there's something else interesting you'll learn about them.(read:screen them out)

I come from a family where on both sides they all stayed married.

There's no such thing as keeping something from your spouse. They have become a part of you. Its like keeping something from yourself---it doesn't make sense.
 

stringpuller

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So, what we appear to have is again a difference of experiences and a retelling of reality based on what has been experienced.

my belief based on experience, perhaps different than exactly for others.

Privacy in an LTR is bad. The way to keep someone honest that intends to be such is by verifications and knowing that they will occur. The best case is just one shared phone. Now that doesn't work out any longer, but shared passwords and open/common access to EACH OTHERS phone is the clean way. I am assuming the goal is to have a clean LTR from both sides. A side comment is that these apps with disappearing pics and txt is just insane... and created exactly for these reasons....

Privacy can be achieved in so many ways and is always the root cause of these transgressions. It is really difficult to execute on dual strategy if there is no privacy. In theory, no privacy is needed for a fully committed LTR. When privacy is inserted, then is the time for play...

Why would anyone need to keep something private from the life long partner that is openly committed to defend and care for them? Both directions. It is not a case of need to know, but a case of why need to be private.

It is EVEN OK to have opposite-sex friends. But not in PRIVATE. For the most part... need to be private(usually) to fck.

Private = plate.
Shared Access and Accountability = LTR.

I wish I understood this long time ago....

Accountability is everything... Trust is based on emotion.

For the record, I have tried the Trust in the past, several times and never learned. I believe others will teach trust until bitten hard enough, and then will also change. I also used to teach it. No disrespect intended, opinions will hold until a person has personal evidence of how it goes.

Not being private with phone will help to keep honest, but there is still other private things.
Home run brother.
but there is still other private things.
Yes sir. Girl things and guy things. Gender lines are clear. Do i want her golfing with me? Hunting? Not unless it is who she is. Then again need time to pursue passions.
But im clear. If there is something off in ways of tell tale red flags i will investigate. I value myself and have expectations.
 

mrgoodstuff

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They must exist
As mentioned.. if you feel you have to monitor someone your intuition is already telling you she’s no good for you. No need to compromise your own morals to gain answers.
Not necessarily true. One might take a peek because they know that other person is a human. They just want to get a picture of how they "really are" away from them.


Now, If you both have an agreement to swap phones at any time because that’s what you believe relationship should be - total transparency on all fronts and all times due to previous experiences - then that’s that relationship. But it won’t be for everyone. But it has to be a two-way street. But to me that relationship is already steeped in insecurity and mistrust.
Swap phones thing doesn't bother me at all, that level of transparency allows a higher level of trust by removing doubt and concern. Plus I don't have a desire to do things that I have to hide. I grew out of that. When you switch phones, you'd be surprised at how many people are going hard AGAINST you behind your back or have all types of innapropriate convos and subjects or things going on.
 

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CBear

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I knew this person in real life and he was very resentful. He also had a lot of negative energy and people generally didn't want to be around him. Unfortunately, women looked down upon him as well (not angry or butthurt but literally made fun of him for being a little unusual). So no, I wouldn't recommend watching this person one bit. But at the same time, I do feel for him. He has good reasons to be resentful. Some of you guys are too focused on watching and listening to these people who don't even get the respect in real life instead of experiencing the world and learning all the hardships and female/male dynamics themselves. Using what worked further and throwing away what didn't work in the past and pulling away when there is disrespect or lack of communication all while having a masculine look will get men further than any bs
advice on youtube. That's what's wrong with a lot of men who use these forums.
 
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stringpuller

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if you feel you have to monitor someone your intuition is already telling you she’s no good for you. No need to compromise your own morals to gain answers.
Flow im not dissing you man there is a sliver of truth to this but this idea stated as such is saying that LTR doesn't need any maintenence and that i find to be false.
 

christie

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Not necessarily true. One might take a peek because they know that other person is a human. They just want to get a picture of how they "really are" away from them.




Swap phones thing doesn't bother me at all, that level of transparency allows a higher level of trust by removing doubt and concern. Plus I don't have a desire to do things that I have to hide. I grew out of that. When you switch phones, you'd be surprised at how many people are going hard AGAINST you behind your back or have all types of innapropriate convos and subjects or things going on.
my ex even read through my notes in my phone...it was wild realising he had been through my phone again, just by the obscure topics he brought up(based on my notetaking on whatever things in my life not directly involving him)




I never touched his phone once.
I didn't have to.
Narcissists and others with dark triad traits always reveal themselves to you voluntarily. That Joe Navarro author wrote this and I think Shawn T. Smith author wrote this. They want you to know how clever they are at manipulating.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Flow im not dissing you man there is a sliver of truth to this but this idea stated as such is saying that LTR doesn't need any maintenence and that i find to be false.
I think it would be WISE for anyone going the LTR route to check with the "social fabric" to see how they have been doing relationships for the last 3-5 years, even all the way to 10. You want to find out their habits, how they do people, and what they REALLY like to do. I wouldn't advise any man to be the first LTR after she spent 10 years playing games on multiple guys.
 

stringpuller

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my ex even read through my notes in my phone...it was wild realising he had been through my phone again, just by the obscure topics he brought up(based on my notetaking on whatever things in my life not directly involving him)




I never touched his phone once.
I didn't have to.
Narcissists and others with dark triad traits always reveal themselves to you voluntarily. That Joe Navarro author wrote this and I think Shawn T. Smith author wrote this. They want you to know how clever they are at manipulating.
Where you cheating? Were you doing anything that warranted his concern. If not then shame on him. It takes awareness to not let your mind get the best of you. And that takes focusing on what she does rather then what she says. From a mans standpoint
 
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