"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Good example of using texting C&F?

DCC

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This is probably the first time in my life I've attempted C&F via text. Overkill, or no? I was supposed to meet a girl this evening after she got out of church for a coffee first date. Called her to make sure we were still on, and went straight to voicemail. She then texted me back almost immediately

Her: "Sooo sorry, I'm still sitting at church. Can't wait to get out of here. We still on?"

Me: "I charge by the minute, how long are you gonna be?"

Her: "Lol, start the tab. Service is going long because of some memorial thing. I'll call you as soon as I get out the door"

Me: "Hey, stop texting in church. You're setting a bad example. ;-)"

Her: "I'm in the back, lol"

Me: "So you're one of 'those' church girls"

Her: "Call you soon ;)"
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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FairShake

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You'll know if she calls you.

I don't think it's really ****y though. It's just bullsh!tting really and I don't think there is any harm in what you said there.
 

bigneil

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Good stuff - and reminds me:

Today the Church sign read "God has unlimited anytime minutes".

PS - one of my favorite lines is: "You're hurting your chances".
 

DCC

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I'm getting a bit better at this...
She called at around eight o clock, she just left church and asked if we could reschedule. Seemed genuinely sorry. I dropped a variation of a line mentioned in this thread.

Instead of 'You're hurting your chances' I threw "Flaking before our first 'real' date? That's gonna cost you a couple of points. You're already starting in the hole." and she went into defensive apologetic mode.

"I'm soo sorry...I really wanted to go. I swear we just got out of church. I have to drop xxx off at her house. We WILL go out asap. I promise"

So instead of beating around the bush, conversing for 10 minutes (I used to be bad at that), I went for "My week is really busy. Let me see when I'm free. Same place. Tomorrow. 7. Good?"

"I promise I'll be there."

"You'd better, you have some points to earn back."

There may be hope for me yet when it comes to playing this game.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Iceberg

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You know, it's okay if some of your conversations DON'T have C&F in it.

It's good to sound like a normal person. Not a collection of PUA tips.

Ideally, you naturally use some C&F every now and then, but the other 90% of your conversation and responses are just...you know...YOU.

I understand you're just starting out and want to undo some of your former AFC ways. Just don't let every conversation end up like:

Girl: I'm in the mood for Italian tonight

You: Damn right you're in the mood for Italian.

Girl: I'll be at your place at 9.

You: You better be at my place at 9.


...My point is...after a while, it gets corny and obvious. I've had a couple girls already tell me how they were, quote, "negged" at the bar the other night. This PUA stuff is something you should mix into your persona....but don't let it become your entire persona.
 

DCC

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Iceberg said:
You know, it's okay if some of your conversations DON'T have C&F in it.

It's good to sound like a normal person. Not a collection of PUA tips.

Ideally, you naturally use some C&F every now and then, but the other 90% of your conversation and responses are just...you know...YOU.
I'm aware, we've had many normal conversations, I'm not even actively looking for a 'real' relationship right now. Basically, I had oneitis and dive bombed so hard so fast after it fell apart that I dissected who I was at a person and realized I needed some self improvement. I'm sure I'll swing hard in the direction of C&F and probably come off as a douche for a while, but as the techniques I'm learning swing back to the center and combine with my natural personality I'll be good to go.
 

Iceberg

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DCC said:
I'm aware, we've had many normal conversations, I'm not even actively looking for a 'real' relationship right now. Basically, I had oneitis and dive bombed so hard so fast after it fell apart that I dissected who I was at a person and realized I needed some self improvement. I'm sure I'll swing hard in the direction of C&F and probably come off as a douche for a while, but as the techniques I'm learning swing back to the center and combine with my natural personality I'll be good to go.

True. That's how it goes.

At first you start off trying too hard. Then you pull back, and find the right balance.

You'll be fine.
 

DCC

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Since I'm meeting her for coffee after work tomorrow.

That means I should open by flexing and asking which way to the gym, followed by 'hey, did you see that fight over there.' before we even go in the coffee shop, right? :D

My only goal right now is to learn a few skills / techniques, learn what works and what doesn't, and have fun. I've been looking for serious relationships for so long that I've missed a lot of what it means to really have 'fun' with a person. My past few relationships have been like interviews.
 

Scars

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Iceberg said:
You know, it's okay if some of your conversations DON'T have C&F in it.

It's good to sound like a normal person. Not a collection of PUA tips.

Ideally, you naturally use some C&F every now and then, but the other 90% of your conversation and responses are just...you know...YOU.

I understand you're just starting out and want to undo some of your former AFC ways. Just don't let every conversation end up like:

Girl: I'm in the mood for Italian tonight

You: Damn right you're in the mood for Italian.

Girl: I'll be at your place at 9.

You: You better be at my place at 9.


...My point is...after a while, it gets corny and obvious. I've had a couple girls already tell me how they were, quote, "negged" at the bar the other night. This PUA stuff is something you should mix into your persona....but don't let it become your entire persona.
Agreed.

In fact, when girls are being cooperative and "good", I almost lay off of it completely. Kind of like the reward system. Why make them jump through a bunch of hoops when you already know they will give you what you want willingly, you know?

But I must admit, if the opportunity for an awesomely perverted sexual banter/joke comes a long I will most often take it.

To the OP: I think you did alright. You went over board a little bit but I don't think it really hurt your chances. Update us on what happens.

-Scars
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

DCC

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Scars said:
Agreed.

In fact, when girls are being cooperative and "good", I almost lay off of it completely. Kind of like the reward system. Why make them jump through a bunch of hoops when you already know they will give you what you want willingly, you know?

But I must admit, if the opportunity for an awesomely perverted sexual banter/joke comes a long I will most often take it.

To the OP: I think you did alright. You went over board a little bit but I don't think it really hurt your chances. Update us on what happens.

-Scars
I'm having a huge issue / internal struggle with where to start / stop the sexual banter. I know I need it, but I do date religious girls, and am very religious myself. It's tough to bridge that gap.
 
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