"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Good example of using texting C&F?

DCC

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This is probably the first time in my life I've attempted C&F via text. Overkill, or no? I was supposed to meet a girl this evening after she got out of church for a coffee first date. Called her to make sure we were still on, and went straight to voicemail. She then texted me back almost immediately

Her: "Sooo sorry, I'm still sitting at church. Can't wait to get out of here. We still on?"

Me: "I charge by the minute, how long are you gonna be?"

Her: "Lol, start the tab. Service is going long because of some memorial thing. I'll call you as soon as I get out the door"

Me: "Hey, stop texting in church. You're setting a bad example. ;-)"

Her: "I'm in the back, lol"

Me: "So you're one of 'those' church girls"

Her: "Call you soon ;)"
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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FairShake

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You'll know if she calls you.

I don't think it's really ****y though. It's just bullsh!tting really and I don't think there is any harm in what you said there.
 

bigneil

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Good stuff - and reminds me:

Today the Church sign read "God has unlimited anytime minutes".

PS - one of my favorite lines is: "You're hurting your chances".
 

DCC

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I'm getting a bit better at this...
She called at around eight o clock, she just left church and asked if we could reschedule. Seemed genuinely sorry. I dropped a variation of a line mentioned in this thread.

Instead of 'You're hurting your chances' I threw "Flaking before our first 'real' date? That's gonna cost you a couple of points. You're already starting in the hole." and she went into defensive apologetic mode.

"I'm soo sorry...I really wanted to go. I swear we just got out of church. I have to drop xxx off at her house. We WILL go out asap. I promise"

So instead of beating around the bush, conversing for 10 minutes (I used to be bad at that), I went for "My week is really busy. Let me see when I'm free. Same place. Tomorrow. 7. Good?"

"I promise I'll be there."

"You'd better, you have some points to earn back."

There may be hope for me yet when it comes to playing this game.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Iceberg

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You know, it's okay if some of your conversations DON'T have C&F in it.

It's good to sound like a normal person. Not a collection of PUA tips.

Ideally, you naturally use some C&F every now and then, but the other 90% of your conversation and responses are just...you know...YOU.

I understand you're just starting out and want to undo some of your former AFC ways. Just don't let every conversation end up like:

Girl: I'm in the mood for Italian tonight

You: Damn right you're in the mood for Italian.

Girl: I'll be at your place at 9.

You: You better be at my place at 9.


...My point is...after a while, it gets corny and obvious. I've had a couple girls already tell me how they were, quote, "negged" at the bar the other night. This PUA stuff is something you should mix into your persona....but don't let it become your entire persona.
 

DCC

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Iceberg said:
You know, it's okay if some of your conversations DON'T have C&F in it.

It's good to sound like a normal person. Not a collection of PUA tips.

Ideally, you naturally use some C&F every now and then, but the other 90% of your conversation and responses are just...you know...YOU.
I'm aware, we've had many normal conversations, I'm not even actively looking for a 'real' relationship right now. Basically, I had oneitis and dive bombed so hard so fast after it fell apart that I dissected who I was at a person and realized I needed some self improvement. I'm sure I'll swing hard in the direction of C&F and probably come off as a douche for a while, but as the techniques I'm learning swing back to the center and combine with my natural personality I'll be good to go.
 

Iceberg

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DCC said:
I'm aware, we've had many normal conversations, I'm not even actively looking for a 'real' relationship right now. Basically, I had oneitis and dive bombed so hard so fast after it fell apart that I dissected who I was at a person and realized I needed some self improvement. I'm sure I'll swing hard in the direction of C&F and probably come off as a douche for a while, but as the techniques I'm learning swing back to the center and combine with my natural personality I'll be good to go.

True. That's how it goes.

At first you start off trying too hard. Then you pull back, and find the right balance.

You'll be fine.
 

DCC

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Since I'm meeting her for coffee after work tomorrow.

That means I should open by flexing and asking which way to the gym, followed by 'hey, did you see that fight over there.' before we even go in the coffee shop, right? :D

My only goal right now is to learn a few skills / techniques, learn what works and what doesn't, and have fun. I've been looking for serious relationships for so long that I've missed a lot of what it means to really have 'fun' with a person. My past few relationships have been like interviews.
 

Scars

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Iceberg said:
You know, it's okay if some of your conversations DON'T have C&F in it.

It's good to sound like a normal person. Not a collection of PUA tips.

Ideally, you naturally use some C&F every now and then, but the other 90% of your conversation and responses are just...you know...YOU.

I understand you're just starting out and want to undo some of your former AFC ways. Just don't let every conversation end up like:

Girl: I'm in the mood for Italian tonight

You: Damn right you're in the mood for Italian.

Girl: I'll be at your place at 9.

You: You better be at my place at 9.


...My point is...after a while, it gets corny and obvious. I've had a couple girls already tell me how they were, quote, "negged" at the bar the other night. This PUA stuff is something you should mix into your persona....but don't let it become your entire persona.
Agreed.

In fact, when girls are being cooperative and "good", I almost lay off of it completely. Kind of like the reward system. Why make them jump through a bunch of hoops when you already know they will give you what you want willingly, you know?

But I must admit, if the opportunity for an awesomely perverted sexual banter/joke comes a long I will most often take it.

To the OP: I think you did alright. You went over board a little bit but I don't think it really hurt your chances. Update us on what happens.

-Scars
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

DCC

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Scars said:
Agreed.

In fact, when girls are being cooperative and "good", I almost lay off of it completely. Kind of like the reward system. Why make them jump through a bunch of hoops when you already know they will give you what you want willingly, you know?

But I must admit, if the opportunity for an awesomely perverted sexual banter/joke comes a long I will most often take it.

To the OP: I think you did alright. You went over board a little bit but I don't think it really hurt your chances. Update us on what happens.

-Scars
I'm having a huge issue / internal struggle with where to start / stop the sexual banter. I know I need it, but I do date religious girls, and am very religious myself. It's tough to bridge that gap.
 
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