You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
This book basically teaches you how to make people like you and do you favors by being fake. After I read it, I thought it was great, it would help me to deal with my social problems, become confident, etc. In reality, it shows you how to manipulate people by hiding your insecurities. That is the last thing you want.S1NN3R said:How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
while reading the bible, read ecclisiastes.NeonBase said:I would suggest reading the book of "Proverbs" in the Bible. I mean even if you aren't religious, it has a lot of great life information that will help you become successful. It covers on topics like money, relationships, women... It has a lot of wisdom.
Yes and No. Just like being a DJ, it is a "bag of tricks". You take from it what you need, and throw away the rest. This kid will find it useful in the workplace, in school, etc. The thing that struck me was the manipulation, but like I said, it's like being a DJ. Once you "become that person" you stop manipulating and start being yourself... which makes people like/respect/want to please you.Nocturnal said:This book basically teaches you how to make people like you and do you favors by being fake. After I read it, I thought it was great, it would help me to deal with my social problems, become confident, etc. In reality, it shows you how to manipulate people by hiding your insecurities. That is the last thing you want.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I disagree. Acting happy won't make you become a happy person, it will make you a person who acts happy. I know tons of guys who act tough, confident, etc, but if you look closely they never "grew into it." If you look closely you can still find visible insecurities, often having to do with how they look, or that they care about what other people think of them. A truly confident man doesn't need to act and acting won't help him. A solid philosophy that he can ground his actions and goals in, will.Vulpine said:Yes and No. Just like being a DJ, it is a "bag of tricks". You take from it what you need, and throw away the rest. This kid will find it useful in the workplace, in school, etc. The thing that struck me was the manipulation, but like I said, it's like being a DJ. Once you "become that person" you stop manipulating and start being yourself... which makes people like/respect/want to please you.
How to Win Friends and Influence people is a HUGE boon for a 16 year old. The book doesn't lead you to "hide" anything, just choose your verbage differently. That is a far cry from being "fake".