You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This book basically teaches you how to make people like you and do you favors by being fake. After I read it, I thought it was great, it would help me to deal with my social problems, become confident, etc. In reality, it shows you how to manipulate people by hiding your insecurities. That is the last thing you want.S1NN3R said:How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
while reading the bible, read ecclisiastes.NeonBase said:I would suggest reading the book of "Proverbs" in the Bible. I mean even if you aren't religious, it has a lot of great life information that will help you become successful. It covers on topics like money, relationships, women... It has a lot of wisdom.
Yes and No. Just like being a DJ, it is a "bag of tricks". You take from it what you need, and throw away the rest. This kid will find it useful in the workplace, in school, etc. The thing that struck me was the manipulation, but like I said, it's like being a DJ. Once you "become that person" you stop manipulating and start being yourself... which makes people like/respect/want to please you.Nocturnal said:This book basically teaches you how to make people like you and do you favors by being fake. After I read it, I thought it was great, it would help me to deal with my social problems, become confident, etc. In reality, it shows you how to manipulate people by hiding your insecurities. That is the last thing you want.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I disagree. Acting happy won't make you become a happy person, it will make you a person who acts happy. I know tons of guys who act tough, confident, etc, but if you look closely they never "grew into it." If you look closely you can still find visible insecurities, often having to do with how they look, or that they care about what other people think of them. A truly confident man doesn't need to act and acting won't help him. A solid philosophy that he can ground his actions and goals in, will.Vulpine said:Yes and No. Just like being a DJ, it is a "bag of tricks". You take from it what you need, and throw away the rest. This kid will find it useful in the workplace, in school, etc. The thing that struck me was the manipulation, but like I said, it's like being a DJ. Once you "become that person" you stop manipulating and start being yourself... which makes people like/respect/want to please you.
How to Win Friends and Influence people is a HUGE boon for a 16 year old. The book doesn't lead you to "hide" anything, just choose your verbage differently. That is a far cry from being "fake".