When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
This book basically teaches you how to make people like you and do you favors by being fake. After I read it, I thought it was great, it would help me to deal with my social problems, become confident, etc. In reality, it shows you how to manipulate people by hiding your insecurities. That is the last thing you want.S1NN3R said:How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
while reading the bible, read ecclisiastes.NeonBase said:I would suggest reading the book of "Proverbs" in the Bible. I mean even if you aren't religious, it has a lot of great life information that will help you become successful. It covers on topics like money, relationships, women... It has a lot of wisdom.
Yes and No. Just like being a DJ, it is a "bag of tricks". You take from it what you need, and throw away the rest. This kid will find it useful in the workplace, in school, etc. The thing that struck me was the manipulation, but like I said, it's like being a DJ. Once you "become that person" you stop manipulating and start being yourself... which makes people like/respect/want to please you.Nocturnal said:This book basically teaches you how to make people like you and do you favors by being fake. After I read it, I thought it was great, it would help me to deal with my social problems, become confident, etc. In reality, it shows you how to manipulate people by hiding your insecurities. That is the last thing you want.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I disagree. Acting happy won't make you become a happy person, it will make you a person who acts happy. I know tons of guys who act tough, confident, etc, but if you look closely they never "grew into it." If you look closely you can still find visible insecurities, often having to do with how they look, or that they care about what other people think of them. A truly confident man doesn't need to act and acting won't help him. A solid philosophy that he can ground his actions and goals in, will.Vulpine said:Yes and No. Just like being a DJ, it is a "bag of tricks". You take from it what you need, and throw away the rest. This kid will find it useful in the workplace, in school, etc. The thing that struck me was the manipulation, but like I said, it's like being a DJ. Once you "become that person" you stop manipulating and start being yourself... which makes people like/respect/want to please you.
How to Win Friends and Influence people is a HUGE boon for a 16 year old. The book doesn't lead you to "hide" anything, just choose your verbage differently. That is a far cry from being "fake".