good advice i may be able to pass on

[derby1]

this last fortnight ive got a bit fed up with women ive built rapport with even spoke to on the phone everythings gone great only for the date time to come.

* i wouldnt say theyve disrespected me in the fact they havent turned up.. but theyve kind of faded out when times got closer

* my Radar for this BS has told me there is going to be no date

then they initiate convo again 48 hours later trying to turn me into an emotional tampon like the other 1000......

"wuup2 babe x" bollox i aint got time for

my replies now are polite Across the bow texts in total disinterest in what shes up to

Her :wuup2 babe x
Me: Buying a boat
Her : Whys that then haha x
Me: well babe.....your gonna need one.......

silence for a little while whilst she WONDERS or Fcks off .....I dont care! outwit and outwait

Her (6 hours later): Why will i lol x
Me: well when you get your ass into gear, well see if you can catch this 240lb'er, or whether i breeze past your feisty line

then she called much later and she arranged a date we went on last night it went great

these texts spk volumes to her they may not be worded perfect i dont care

i intrigued her but also she took the hint
i aint got time to be bothered wtf shes doing, she knows i offered her on a date,
we go out or we dont,
all my replies dont require a reply from her but they let her know my battleship is there

obviously you assess the scenario and the woman and whether she needs nexting

ive got two other women heated up with this behaviour so somethings ovsiously working about it

hope it helps

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I don't really catch the gist of this entirely (how about don't bad mouth other people's text speak when your own writing is far from perfect).

What I can gather, is that you seem to be relying to heavily on the phone to 'build rapport', have 'banter' and hold conversations. You shouldn't be doing this with women you hardly know, and especially with women you haven't even dated yet.

I rarely text women I've been seeing for 6 months, let alone someone I just met. You know what the rule is; you give one of every two things they give you. Your texting is too wordy and trying to convey humour in this way will very often not work as well as you think it does.

Less is almost always more. Here's a recent text conversation with a girl of mine....

After a week of mutual no contact:....

GIRL: (photo of foreign beer bottle)
GIRL: This is the one.
TMK: (thumbs up) (beer emoji)
GIRL: How's your week going?

Now you see what's going on here. I'm not over-complicating things, I'm not trying to be some sort of stand up comedian. I'm not investing anything, especially with a girl who hasn't contacted me for a whole week. I'm being polite and friendly. The mistake many guys make is thinking they have to be some sort of comedy genius, 24/7. This is totally unrealistic anyway, unless you actually are a professional. And it's far more important to be entertaining and playful in person anyway.

Use the phone (almost exclusively) to set dates. Full stop.

 

[derby1]

my point of this post is ive already attempted to set up a date ive put the work in they went and faded for no reason, ive turned to use a bit of humour, now when she reinitiated convo

you putting thumbs up and me putting, buying you a boat is basically still an across the bow text if she replies she does if not so what

i dont use emojis i think there the most girliest thing going this is why we have opinions

and im just stating this post to be helfpul,

plus we deal with different women in the different countries, i notice a lot of men on here still use talk that was used in american pie 1999 whatever

youd be crucified if you spoke to a woman in the UK like this

 

[derby1]

I rarely text women I've been seeing for 6 months, let alone someone I just met

this doesnt work in the UK im not saying be there emotional tampon but limited raport over the phone they just forget about you, your 1 of 1000

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

this doesnt work in the UK

I live in the UK mate and have done my whole life.

This demonstrates perfectly your mentality. You assumption is that this works for this, and that works for that. You assume that emojis are girly (when talking to girls...?), and your lengthy 'jokey' texts aren't going to come across as try-hard over-investment.

You're seeking black and white answers and universal 'techniques' that apply to every situation where there aren't any. How about try changing things up every now and then, because whatever you're on about in the OP doesn't really work.

PS. if you have such a depressive attitude towards something as innocuous as emojis, try chilling the fck out a bit. Uptight sulky attitudes 'will never work in the UK'

 

[derby1]

look ive tried to pass on advice that seems to be working for me, also youve just told me to to do girly behaviour towards a girl with emojis.... why dont i go clothes shopping with them aswell......and im sorry but theres no over investment in this shes not an ex im trying to get bk and we analyze investment!

its playful humour thats all one message has gone into 2 lines so what, and remember these are women who ive already tried to set dates up with YOUR WAY which i also do!...

but in the cases where it hasnt worked ive now tried adding this method thats all im saying

 

[marmel75]

Let me understand this.

The women have gotten your hamster to spin so you have come up with a game plan because you have psyched yourself out of a date that was likely going to happen anyway?

I have to be missing something here.

 

[derby1]

wtf ....you have to work to get women to date you they go flakey or fadey surely you know this

the old me would have had a little chat with them

and some reinitiate it would be good to bang them so im letting them know im still there but not really interested in what there up to ?politely

anyway it worked so my hamsters lying on his back now loving life smoking a cuban

love how you lot are full of good advice or negative.................. advice after the event,

yeah i should have known when shes shown interest all week that she was going to fade im telepathic like you lot

 

[The Duke]

Its a covert version of "SCHITT OR GET OFF THE POT"! Are you in or are you out? Very effective.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

look ive tried to pass on advice that seems to be working for me, also youve just told me to to do girly behaviour towards a girl with emojis.... why dont i go clothes shopping with them aswell......and im sorry but theres no over investment in this shes not an ex im trying to get bk and we analyze investment!

its playful humour thats all one message has gone into 2 lines so what, and remember these are women who ive already tried to set dates up with YOUR WAY which i also do!...

but in the cases where it hasnt worked ive now tried adding this method thats all im saying

K. Still not getting it entirely. To be honest, your written communication isn't sound enough for you to be relying too heavily on it.

Answer me this, what's the difference between trying to 'build rapport' with someone you hardly know, and being an emotional tampon?

Lastly, answer me this: you say using emojis is 'girly behaviour'; so, how is it detrimental when talking to women? (and please don't give me any PUA bullsh!t about 'emoji's aren't masculine' or whatever the fck else you're about to come out with).

 

[derby1]

ta

Its a covert version of "SCHITT OR GET OFF THE POT"! Are you in or are you out? Very effective.

thank you he gets it^^.....perhaps its just the way i type things, its like saying Lets eat Nan..and ...Lets eat, Nan the comma could kill someone

 

[sosousage]

"Me: well when you get your ass into gear, well see if you can catch this 240lb'er, or whether i breeze past your feisty line"

Wtf that means? I assumed you ignored her texts and mentioned that you are only interested in dates/sex. but I dont get what this line means lol

 

[derby1]

Lastly, answer me this:

the answer to all your questions is i have my opinion you have yours

also to mention again i have already given these women time, built rapport, and been a little bit of an emotional tampon

Howiestern has worded my OP better

 

[derby1]

Wtf that means?

implying im the catch a big one, and she needs to get her ass into gear no fcks given

 

[marmel75]

Were you following the "set up the date and then don't talk to her until the date" rule?

I've posted numerous times that this is a poor strategy and how real world results show its much better if you don't do this. As long as its done properly that is.

 

[derby1]

no i wasnt i was keeping Low Contact at all times

24 hours before said date the convo kind of turned into a "dont know if i can get a babysitter" now chestnut it wasnt a cancel but it wasnt a green go

cant remember what happened but it was a no go then she Reinitiates days later, it is at that point i enter "ive put the effort in mode your either in or your out" got no time to be texting all day now for you to flake on me

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

ta


thank you he gets it^^.....perhaps its just the way i type things, its like saying Lets eat Nan..and ...Lets eat, Nan the comma could kill someone

Well quite. If you did use a bit more punctuation, your communication might become a bit more successful generally.

 

[The Duke]

Well quite. If you did use a bit more punctuation, your communication might become a bit more successful generally.

Monkey, if you spent a little more time thinking you might become a little more successful at comprehending! Just keeping it real dude.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Monkey, if you spent a little more time thinking you might become a little more successful at comprehending! Just keeping it real dude.

I appreciate what you're saying. Punctuation is fairly fundamental to English comprehension though, so it goes. So maybe we'll both stand corrected.

 

[marmel75]

no i wasnt i was keeping Low Contact at all times

24 hours before said date the convo kind of turned into a "dont know if i can get a babysitter" now chestnut it wasnt a cancel but it wasnt a green go

cant remember what happened but it was a no go then she Reinitiates days later, it is at that point i enter "ive put the effort in mode your either in or your out" got no time to be texting all day now for you to flake on me

See...the babysitter thing...now that's an important detail you left out...