What do you recommend instead? Almost every advice I read so far says to shut up until the date.
I feel like if I contact her when I already set up a date that I might come off as needy.
Also I dont even want to contact her until the date, unless she contacts me then I keep it 3-4 texts max
You will come off as needy. If you are needy.
People need to understand these rules are basically a set of training wheels for people coming from the complete opposite end of the spectrum.
They prevent you from throwing up all over yourself so to speak. Once you have had enough experiences with them you realize they end up holding you back quite a bit from realizing your full potential. Yes they help but they also hinder.
Life isn't black and white and neither are women. Fluidity will take you much farther than rigidity in most cases.
In my case, I found that keeping some form of contact even if it was only a text or two a day between the time you set up the date and the actual date increased her interest in meeting and decreased flaking.
And in reality the ONLY thing that matters prior to a first date is if she meets you or not. Thats what the rules are designed for, but they are designed for dudes who act desperate and needy and guys with no options. When you are none of those things and have options, staying in contact HELPS you.
Increase the number of women you meet by lowering the flake rate and increase the number of women you are banging. Its a numbers game, simple math.
