Never thought it would come to this haha. Working night shift with only weeknights off every week is just killing my social life in general. I have no idea how to do internet dating, especially being a little older. Any tips?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Clear current pictures, no fish, no cars.SamMalone said:Never thought it would come to this haha. Working night shift with only weeknights off every week is just killing my social life in general. I have no idea how to do internet dating, especially being a little older. Any tips?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
bradd80 said:Try to get three or four of the absolute most rocking photos of yourself you can possibly get. Have a profile body that is short and sweet.. funny but also with a serious side that shows that you (a) have a good job and (b) are looking for dating. If you have a profile that is too "who gives a f*ck" then the vast majority of women who look at your profile will not take you seriously. Not that you have to be serious about dating yourself, but you're better off pretending that you are as that's what the majority of women online claim to be looking for.
Here's some more tips:
1. Have a headline that is short, funny, and eye catching. Something like "are you hitting on me" or "im really picky.. but good luck!"
2. include in your first date something alluring or funny, such as "international crime spree" or "i like to be wined and dined" etc you get the idea
3. avoid including a pic of you without a shirt, any pic without a shirt, but include photos of you wearing clothes that reveal your muscular physique if you have one
4. mass spam women with funny first emails, and try to include something personal about their profile
Keep in mind that online dating is EXTREMELY frustrating. You will go on dozens of dead end dates for every one or two rather average looking women you will end up banging. I bag a few 9's here and there, but it's almost always when they have msged me first. Don't take it personally, online dating for women is kind of like when we go to a restaurant and have to pick from a menu: we are deluged with so many choices we invariably end up picking the wrong dish.
It's easier (in a way) than picking up women in real life, but that's why the returns are not nearly as profitable. Prepare to waste a lot of time with women who are crazy/still in love/have kids and are online just to prop up their own fragile egos. If you follow this advice, you will get laid here and there. But if you're looking for a normal relationship with a healthy, stable woman, then online dating is the wrong place for you to be.
Now while i find Naughty ninja's pof suggestions as funny as anyone else here, i have found through trial and error that they are not the most effective means of dating online. They will get a lot of responses, but i find that his tips tend to attract the wrong types of women ie women who are just out to have a few laughs with you while wasting your time and having no intention of meeting up with you.
Best of luck and let us know how it goes!
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Why can't you go into detail? I would like to see the profile...Howiestern said:I found a ton of success when I created a profile that was 110% different from all the others. It was pretty ballsy and I got a little hate mail for it. Without going into detail it was basically a bulleted list of about 15 things I had learned from women. Some of the things I listed were related to topics that are discussed here. By listing what I had learned it conveyed that I knew what I was doing with women, understood them, and could relate. I think thats why I was successful with it. It made me stand out because most guys are pretty much clueless.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
You ain't kidding. Try reading the Plenty of Fish forums sometime. Good God the amount of completely clueless foreveralones on that site is staggering...along with the 'nice' till I die WK's...and the women who B.S them with hilarious useless 'advice'. It's like putting hot pins into your retinas. No joke.Howiestern said:I found a ton of success when I created a profile that was 110% different from all the others. It was pretty ballsy and I got a little hate mail for it. Without going into detail it was basically a bulleted list of about 15 things I had learned from women. Some of the things I listed were related to topics that are discussed here. By listing what I had learned it conveyed that I knew what I was doing with women, understood them, and could relate. I think thats why I was successful with it. It made me stand out because most guys are pretty much clueless.
The return on investment from internet dating is a big waste. There is a lot of trash to sort thru so it takes a lot of looking/messaging to find someone decent.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.