Going out alone

[No Escape]

You think it's a good way to meet chicks? Or do you think they get turned off when they see you alone?

 

[Don_Marko]

It is by far, without a doubt THE WAY to get chicks

 

[unistork]

Don can you give us more examples of this? What is the best thing to do to attract them more at the malls while being alone? I don't tend to do cold approaches but if I'm at the mall alone and I see one give me eye contact I'll be talking to her.

I kind of think the same way as No Escape wouldn't they think like "This guys such a loner"

 

[Don_Marko]

Pretty much any way you approach, you are better off if you are alone than with somebody around you, if it's a group of gilrs like 3+ a wing might be useful but that's irrelevant look at this way...
Two guys walking around a mall window shopping, staring at girls and arguing which one they should approach and ending up not approaching any of themis FCKING LAME.
On the other hand a dude minding his own busines, walking around a mall is normal and... once you get good at approaching this will not be an issue to you. There is enormous amount of literature on approaches, I suggest you read some and implement it.

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by Don_Marko
It is by far, without a doubt THE WAY to get chicks

I disagree. Social proof is important, and if you're walking around by yourself you're not getting any social proof there buddy. At a mall you might be able to get away with it, but being alone at a club or bar is only going to hurt you.

 

[Desdinova]

I kind of think the same way as No Escape wouldn't they think like "This guys such a loner"

Women at the mall don't dwell on the social status of some guy they don't know. You seem to have it fixed in your mind that chicks are going to be talking about some guy all by himself at a mall.

When was the last time you ever heard a woman say, "Remember that guy with the blue jacket at the mall? He was such a loser! He was all by himself!" Women are at the mall to shop, not to judge the character of everyone there.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by No Escape
You think it's a good way to meet chicks? Or do you think they get turned off when they see you alone?

I've been doing this deliberately lately, I have a bit of a phobia about being alone in social situations, so I do it to confront my fears. I do a bar hop, find a joint that I'm comfortable with, and I've had some pretty good success because once you are comfortable, there are few distractions, and in certain environments where it is more geared to pickups, I've had women open me up.

Social proof can be obtained as easily as chatting all friends like with the bartender or servers. I usually dispel with the social proof in these situations and go into 'mystery man' mode. Calm, cool and detached.

The pool table or the dart board area is a really good spot, because you can usually strike up convos there pretty easily. Plus, I invariably run into someone whom I've met before or an acquintance - knowing alot of people definitely helps.

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by Interpol
I disagree. Social proof is important, and if you're walking around by yourself you're not getting any social proof there buddy. At a mall you might be able to get away with it, but being alone at a club or bar is only going to hurt you.

You will not be alone in a club or bar because you'll be approaching chicks and getting social proof from them... What hurts you is when you have a ****farm of drunken buddies around you.

 

[Fenderules]

You will not be alone in a club or bar because you'll be approaching chicks and getting social proof from them... What hurts you is when you have a ****farm of drunken buddies around you






true and its easy to bail out on approach. YOu can just chill with your buddies cause they are too scared 2. When you are alone you have to hit the dance floor. if you sit alone by yourself drinking, you look like a loser and alcoholic. In any case i would feel more pressure to go talk and hit the dance floor

 

[Interpol]

Originally posted by Don_Marko
You will not be alone in a club or bar because you'll be approaching chicks and getting social proof from them... What hurts you is when you have a ****farm of drunken buddies around you.

Do you know what social proof is? You don't get social proof from people you're trying to meet, you get it from people you already know.

EDIT: And if you can't go out with your friends without them causing a scene or preventing you from approaching, that just means your friends suck and you should find new ones.

 

[thefonz]

this is kindof a toss up for me....... if i go out alone i'm more likely to have a low interest level but i high self esteem level......but if i go out with buddies i get high interest level but lowered self esteem level......it basically depends on how i feel that day, if i wanna take away the work of approaching a girl i go out with friends.

 

[Centaurion]

i think it kinda depends on what kind of a bar you are going to and what kind of people you go with. I've had some good success by going to some new bars on my own, as mentioned earlier in the thread, it makes you grab your balls and do some approaches, unless you wanna look like one of those lonely loosers that stays in the corner and gawk at the chicks all night. ****ing pathetic chumps.

 

[Fatality]

What about in college? If you see certain girls several times a week and you are always alone can that hurt you?

 

[Fenderules]

possibly unless you seem outgoing and fun. Then it will prolly bring more mystery. and you dont always have to be alone. make some friends.

 

[Julian]

Let me tell you i am not a fan of going out alone. Being an only child im used to the solitude and can handle rolling solo with the utmost confidence anywhere i go.

However, i have 10x as much fun when accompanied by a friend or a group of friends.

 

[chancer]

The way I see it... You go out to have fun and to make it as fun as possible. Your social proff should be in the same mind set. And with that said and done, who really gives a ****?

 

[AverageFC]

You go out to have fun and to make it as fun as possible. Your social proff should be in the same mind set. And with that said and done, who really gives a ****?

That is the best attitude I think. If youre there, whether youre alone or with the crew, if youre having a good time who gives a ****

 

[blue17]

Why not mix it up? In college, sometimes I'm walkin around with friends or someone I met in class or whatever. Sometimes I'm by myself. I don't think theres anything wrong with being by yourself now and then. If you are by yourself all the time in an environment where you see the same ppl you might come across as a loner.

If you see a girl you know and she's always by herself would you think she was a loner? Maybe. If she was with friends all the time you might think it's a waste of time approaching her because she is never by herself. If you see her by herself sometimes and with friends in other situations, she does have social proof but at the same time she can be independent which makes it much easier for 1 on 1 time.

 

[Desdinova]

Do you know what social proof is? You don't get social proof from people you're trying to meet, you get it from people you already know.

I beg to differ. Most people around you won't know if the person you're chatting to is somebody you've known previously or if you've just met them, especially if you're a very social person. This is how you can create Social Proof. You can briefly chat up a woman, leave her be, and catch up with her later. This gives the illusion that she's an old friend of yours that you happened to run into.

For this to work, you have to be a very sociable person. You can't just sit at a table all night and expect the waitress to be your social proof.