Try to keep a long story short.
Been on a dry spell for over 4 years, mainly because of very low self-esteem, not being social enough, being a p*ssy, being very needy and reliant on others showing interest or saying good stuff about me. I'm a quiet guy, probably because of the above reasons. I don't think I'm an introvert as I love social events and activity around me, as long as I feel comfortable at that place (for example the gym I feel ok, but parties with people I barely know not so much).
The only girls I had in my life were girls who went after me and not the other way around. Currently there is this one girl at the gym who I'm 100% sure I could get as she gives very obvious hints, but so many red flags (BPD, her best friend has been in a psychiatric institution,...). Had a relation with such a kind of girl before, didn't turn out so well, all in all kind of great I don't go into it.
For a couple of weeks last month I actually felt pretty great and quite confident, but it didn't show me any results. I tend to loose motivation quite fast if I don't see any results and start to doubt the "as you think you shall become" motto. In fact I actually think you start to become who you don't want to be, probably because that person is more pronounced in my mind and lo and behold, I'm becoming that person more and more.
The thing that scares me most is that I've been drinking more and more as for a couple of minutes my mind comes at rest and it's all ok. Something needs to change as I know this will only get worse.
Only thing I got going for me is the gym, I go every day and I look forward to it because for a couple of minutes my mind comes at ease as well.
Living on a similar situation than you.
Telling what to do is really simple, but put that in work and keep consistency is difficult... So I'm gonna tell you what is working for me.
It seems you're dealing with depression, I have depression too. Alcohol is pretty dangerous, I used to drink compulsevely and it can cause a huge imbalance in your neurochemistry.
I've tried therapy for 8 years and also tried all natural stuffs in this planet to help me cope with that. The result was zero. Therapy only helped to improve my self-awareness.
When you create a emotional dependency on alcohol like it seems you're doing, it start to lose control over time. And maybe you already has some imbalance with your neurotransmitters and with alcohol it got worse. **Search for Fred Von Stief on youtube... it's a doctor that explain that in details (I've read his book "Brain in Balance").
It will be difficult, but I suggest you to find a good doctor in the area of integrative medicine, idk if its the correct name. Maybe it will be good for you to use some medication to help with that. I was very skeptical about that but now I'm seeing the changing while on Bupropion, I see it worths. It was better than just going deep into the black hole of depression and alcohol abuse.
I got to a point that my whole health was bad and the hangovers started to be really hard to handle. It was like my body was dying cause of that and it scared me a lot. Also, everytime I used alcohol I was more depressive and have suicidal thoughts.
Now I'm not feeling the need of drink anymore, I'm starting to adjust the medication and it's clearing my mind. Getting more focused and more sociable.
Don't fall on the magic solutions over there... there is a lot of crap in this world only to make you spend money.
Hope you can overcome that! =)