RestUnknown
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2016
- Messages
- 146
- Reaction score
- 21
- Age
- 34
Try to keep a long story short.
Been on a dry spell for over 4 years, mainly because of very low self-esteem, not being social enough, being a p*ssy, being very needy and reliant on others showing interest or saying good stuff about me. I'm a quiet guy, probably because of the above reasons. I don't think I'm an introvert as I love social events and activity around me, as long as I feel comfortable at that place (for example the gym I feel ok, but parties with people I barely know not so much).
The only girls I had in my life were girls who went after me and not the other way around. Currently there is this one girl at the gym who I'm 100% sure I could get as she gives very obvious hints, but so many red flags (BPD, her best friend has been in a psychiatric institution,...). Had a relation with such a kind of girl before, didn't turn out so well, all in all kind of great I don't go into it.
For a couple of weeks last month I actually felt pretty great and quite confident, but it didn't show me any results. I tend to loose motivation quite fast if I don't see any results and start to doubt the "as you think you shall become" motto. In fact I actually think you start to become who you don't want to be, probably because that person is more pronounced in my mind and lo and behold, I'm becoming that person more and more.
The thing that scares me most is that I've been drinking more and more as for a couple of minutes my mind comes at rest and it's all ok. Something needs to change as I know this will only get worse.
Only thing I got going for me is the gym, I go every day and I look forward to it because for a couple of minutes my mind comes at ease as well.
Been on a dry spell for over 4 years, mainly because of very low self-esteem, not being social enough, being a p*ssy, being very needy and reliant on others showing interest or saying good stuff about me. I'm a quiet guy, probably because of the above reasons. I don't think I'm an introvert as I love social events and activity around me, as long as I feel comfortable at that place (for example the gym I feel ok, but parties with people I barely know not so much).
The only girls I had in my life were girls who went after me and not the other way around. Currently there is this one girl at the gym who I'm 100% sure I could get as she gives very obvious hints, but so many red flags (BPD, her best friend has been in a psychiatric institution,...). Had a relation with such a kind of girl before, didn't turn out so well, all in all kind of great I don't go into it.
For a couple of weeks last month I actually felt pretty great and quite confident, but it didn't show me any results. I tend to loose motivation quite fast if I don't see any results and start to doubt the "as you think you shall become" motto. In fact I actually think you start to become who you don't want to be, probably because that person is more pronounced in my mind and lo and behold, I'm becoming that person more and more.
The thing that scares me most is that I've been drinking more and more as for a couple of minutes my mind comes at rest and it's all ok. Something needs to change as I know this will only get worse.
Only thing I got going for me is the gym, I go every day and I look forward to it because for a couple of minutes my mind comes at ease as well.