"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Go to the gym. Lift weights.

MOTU

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I used to be fat and lost about 60lbs a couple of years ago. I still have a bit of a gut. About 2yrs ago I started lifting and have been doing so seriously for the last year. Now I have big arms, broad shoulders and back.

It's amazing how much my muscles come up. My fiance talks about my muscles all the time. Even her kids make references to how strong I am. Coworkers bring it up. Flight attendants make small comments.

Again, I am by no means a body builder. I would guess my body fat is still over 20%. But I look strong, and people notice and I get more respect. If I would eat less and drink less and lose the gut I imagine I would get even more attention.

So if you are struggling to lose weight, start lifting. Pick a good program like stronglifts or starting strengthen and stick with it. It's a slow process but over time you can really transform your body.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Young OG

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I'm the opposite. I have always struggled to gain weight. I started lifting in the middle of april. I've had huge gains in a small amount of time and have put on some pounds. I already have noticed more women checking me out then ever before. I can only imagine what it will be like by the end of the year. I'm at 7-8% body fat and I'm starting to see my abs coming in. Joining the gym was one of the best things I've done in my life. It has made me a happier person.
 

LiveFreeX

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Agree, really enjoy hitting up the buffet now and filling up on vegetables, meats and rice. Need the food now.
 

Firefly

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I agree. In my case, I have lifted weights casually for the last 10+ years so I have always had some muscles but since grad school, I let both my gym routine and my diet slide and piled on about 45 pounds. I noted a corresponding diminishing of respect I received from colleagues and strangers.

Five weeks ago, I decided to try to undo the damage that three years of no gym and stress eating inflicted on my frame by going back to the gym. I have always hated cardio so I went back to my 3-4 day a week lifting routine. I also went on a mainly vegetarian diet (while still making sure I get my required protein through eggs and protein shakes). Even with no cardio, I have lost 13 pounds so far. This has had a big impact on my health, as well as more intangible matters such as the way people perceive me. At a recent meeting, the CEO made a point of telling me that he was happy with the way I decided to speak up as this was the first time he was able to make out every point I made. Given I did not intentionally speak louder at the meeting, I can only assume that either:

a) my increased level of confidence causes me to speak more authoritatively without being aware of it, or

b) being less of a chubster automatically makes people pay more attention to what I am saying.

Either way, it is an illustration of how losing weight through lifting has benefits apart from just aesthetics.
 

zekko

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Firefly said:
being less of a chubster automatically makes people pay more attention to what I am saying.
Being more muscular does that for you too.

The thing I've always struggled with is that the more I exercise, the more my appetite increases.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Firefly

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zekko said:
The thing I've always struggled with is that the more I exercise, the more my appetite increases.
What works for me is having lots of vegetable soup and zero calorie noodles on hand to alleviate the hunger pangs without taking in too many calories.
 

MOTU

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And tell yourself: hunger pangs are a temporary sensation that will pass. I have fed my body.

That helps me. But don't ask me how to resist having a beer.....
 

Lozboss

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You don't have to be Hungry.

You just need to fill that hunger with good stuff.
 

rugby11

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Best way to deal with deppression is to
Go to the gym. Lift weights.
 

BtrL8ThnNvr

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rugby11 said:
Best way to deal with deppression is to
Go to the gym. Lift weights.
:yes:

More effective than Meds in many cases. It's a major reason I was able to not crash and burn after being in a BPD "relationship" for far too long.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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LiveFreeX

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Biggest problem with the gym is the people that go there.

I need someone to spot me on my free weights or else I don't use them (I'm not stupid). I approach someone and politely ask if they would be so kind as to spot me, most refuse, a small percentage refuse very rudely. It's always the ones with the fragile egos that attend gyms and for some reason helping another man equates to somehow being called gay. I use the machines only most of the time although I would much prefer to use the bench presses... luckily my wife will be attending shortly with me but its a sad state of affairs when I need to bring my wife to the gym just so I can safely use a set of free weights.

Then you have the attendants who feel its your job to wipe down the machines... really its theirs. Most of them sit around talking on their smart phones and watching TV shows. They think their only job is attending to the desk when new people come through the door, of course 90% of the time they are women and immune to criticism.

Finally the types of people at the gym, there seem to be only two, people who rarely go and people who always go. The people who rarely go, WAY OVER exercise their bodies because it'll probably be another couple months before they drop in. And the regulars who are there every day are some weird version of introvert and seem to be allergic to speaking to others. Just yesterday a woman came to the gym on CRUTCHES. I politely opened the door and she walked straight through without so much as an acknowledgement. I shouted YOUR WELCOME as I walked away......

So either you have the ultra shy, muscle bound, hideously insecure, gym guy

or

The brazen, rude, self obsessed and frequently arrogant, gym girl.

The gym is a weird place to be.
 

MOTU

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In my experience, each gym tends to have it's own "culture". Some are more friendly than others. I just switched gyms to one that is attached to a baseball, basketball and soccer complex and most people working out are doing so for their sport. Seems to be a friendlier crowd and I have never been refused a spot.

So, you might try a few different gyms and see if you can find a nicer one
 

zekko

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samspade said:
My old gym seemed nice and modern, but was full of douchebags.
Lol, too many SoSuavers trying to act like alpha jerks? ;)
 

evan12

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MOTU said:
I used to be fat and lost about 60lbs a couple of years ago. I still have a bit of a gut. About 2yrs ago I started lifting and have been doing so seriously for the last year. Now I have big arms, broad shoulders and back.

It's amazing how much my muscles come up. My fiance talks about my muscles all the time. Even her kids make references to how strong I am. Coworkers bring it up. Flight attendants make small comments.

Again, I am by no means a body builder. I would guess my body fat is still over 20%. But I look strong, and people notice and I get more respect. If I would eat less and drink less and lose the gut I imagine I would get even more attention.

So if you are struggling to lose weight, start lifting. Pick a good program like stronglifts or starting strengthen and stick with it. It's a slow process but over time you can really transform your body.
I have problem with motovation , I cant keep myself up for more than 2 weeks
 

thatfeel

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Whatever you do do not do GOMAD or you're just gonna stay fat
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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thatfeel

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Young OG said:
I'm the opposite. I have always struggled to gain weight. I started lifting in the middle of april. I've had huge gains in a small amount of time and have put on some pounds. I already have noticed more women checking me out then ever before. I can only imagine what it will be like by the end of the year. I'm at 7-8% body fat and I'm starting to see my abs coming in. Joining the gym was one of the best things I've done in my life. It has made me a happier person.
Uhh if youre 7 or 8 percent body fat and dont have abs you're not 7 or 8 percent body fat.
 

MOTU

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evan12 said:
I have problem with motovation , I cant keep myself up for more than 2 weeks
Dude you need to overcome that. Get disciplined. Stick with it for a few months and it will get easier.
 

ubercat

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Grrr weights cost me my Saturday night. Think I've done a rib cartilidge - very ouch and still got a sprained wrist from sports.

Still DJs are unstoppable. I shopped for new blazer/shirt/chinos today. Will go walking tonight (all I can do :-( while studying my chinese on head phone. And read my book for book club - me and 20 chicks :)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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