"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Go to the gym. Lift weights.

MOTU

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2014
Messages
638
Reaction score
72
Location
Houston, TX
I used to be fat and lost about 60lbs a couple of years ago. I still have a bit of a gut. About 2yrs ago I started lifting and have been doing so seriously for the last year. Now I have big arms, broad shoulders and back.

It's amazing how much my muscles come up. My fiance talks about my muscles all the time. Even her kids make references to how strong I am. Coworkers bring it up. Flight attendants make small comments.

Again, I am by no means a body builder. I would guess my body fat is still over 20%. But I look strong, and people notice and I get more respect. If I would eat less and drink less and lose the gut I imagine I would get even more attention.

So if you are struggling to lose weight, start lifting. Pick a good program like stronglifts or starting strengthen and stick with it. It's a slow process but over time you can really transform your body.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Young OG

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2015
Messages
1,247
Reaction score
1,060
Location
USA
I'm the opposite. I have always struggled to gain weight. I started lifting in the middle of april. I've had huge gains in a small amount of time and have put on some pounds. I already have noticed more women checking me out then ever before. I can only imagine what it will be like by the end of the year. I'm at 7-8% body fat and I'm starting to see my abs coming in. Joining the gym was one of the best things I've done in my life. It has made me a happier person.
 

LiveFreeX

Banned
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
2,536
Reaction score
508
Location
The Wacky Races
Agree, really enjoy hitting up the buffet now and filling up on vegetables, meats and rice. Need the food now.
 

Firefly

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2005
Messages
196
Reaction score
7
I agree. In my case, I have lifted weights casually for the last 10+ years so I have always had some muscles but since grad school, I let both my gym routine and my diet slide and piled on about 45 pounds. I noted a corresponding diminishing of respect I received from colleagues and strangers.

Five weeks ago, I decided to try to undo the damage that three years of no gym and stress eating inflicted on my frame by going back to the gym. I have always hated cardio so I went back to my 3-4 day a week lifting routine. I also went on a mainly vegetarian diet (while still making sure I get my required protein through eggs and protein shakes). Even with no cardio, I have lost 13 pounds so far. This has had a big impact on my health, as well as more intangible matters such as the way people perceive me. At a recent meeting, the CEO made a point of telling me that he was happy with the way I decided to speak up as this was the first time he was able to make out every point I made. Given I did not intentionally speak louder at the meeting, I can only assume that either:

a) my increased level of confidence causes me to speak more authoritatively without being aware of it, or

b) being less of a chubster automatically makes people pay more attention to what I am saying.

Either way, it is an illustration of how losing weight through lifting has benefits apart from just aesthetics.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,790
Reaction score
10,018
Firefly said:
being less of a chubster automatically makes people pay more attention to what I am saying.
Being more muscular does that for you too.

The thing I've always struggled with is that the more I exercise, the more my appetite increases.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Firefly

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2005
Messages
196
Reaction score
7
zekko said:
The thing I've always struggled with is that the more I exercise, the more my appetite increases.
What works for me is having lots of vegetable soup and zero calorie noodles on hand to alleviate the hunger pangs without taking in too many calories.
 

MOTU

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2014
Messages
638
Reaction score
72
Location
Houston, TX
And tell yourself: hunger pangs are a temporary sensation that will pass. I have fed my body.

That helps me. But don't ask me how to resist having a beer.....
 

Lozboss

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 27, 2015
Messages
709
Reaction score
205
Location
London, UK
You don't have to be Hungry.

You just need to fill that hunger with good stuff.
 

rugby11

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
92
Reaction score
4
Best way to deal with deppression is to
Go to the gym. Lift weights.
 

BtrL8ThnNvr

New Member
Joined
Aug 12, 2015
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
rugby11 said:
Best way to deal with deppression is to
Go to the gym. Lift weights.
:yes:

More effective than Meds in many cases. It's a major reason I was able to not crash and burn after being in a BPD "relationship" for far too long.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

LiveFreeX

Banned
Joined
Mar 10, 2010
Messages
2,536
Reaction score
508
Location
The Wacky Races
Biggest problem with the gym is the people that go there.

I need someone to spot me on my free weights or else I don't use them (I'm not stupid). I approach someone and politely ask if they would be so kind as to spot me, most refuse, a small percentage refuse very rudely. It's always the ones with the fragile egos that attend gyms and for some reason helping another man equates to somehow being called gay. I use the machines only most of the time although I would much prefer to use the bench presses... luckily my wife will be attending shortly with me but its a sad state of affairs when I need to bring my wife to the gym just so I can safely use a set of free weights.

Then you have the attendants who feel its your job to wipe down the machines... really its theirs. Most of them sit around talking on their smart phones and watching TV shows. They think their only job is attending to the desk when new people come through the door, of course 90% of the time they are women and immune to criticism.

Finally the types of people at the gym, there seem to be only two, people who rarely go and people who always go. The people who rarely go, WAY OVER exercise their bodies because it'll probably be another couple months before they drop in. And the regulars who are there every day are some weird version of introvert and seem to be allergic to speaking to others. Just yesterday a woman came to the gym on CRUTCHES. I politely opened the door and she walked straight through without so much as an acknowledgement. I shouted YOUR WELCOME as I walked away......

So either you have the ultra shy, muscle bound, hideously insecure, gym guy

or

The brazen, rude, self obsessed and frequently arrogant, gym girl.

The gym is a weird place to be.
 

MOTU

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2014
Messages
638
Reaction score
72
Location
Houston, TX
In my experience, each gym tends to have it's own "culture". Some are more friendly than others. I just switched gyms to one that is attached to a baseball, basketball and soccer complex and most people working out are doing so for their sport. Seems to be a friendlier crowd and I have never been refused a spot.

So, you might try a few different gyms and see if you can find a nicer one
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,790
Reaction score
10,018
samspade said:
My old gym seemed nice and modern, but was full of douchebags.
Lol, too many SoSuavers trying to act like alpha jerks? ;)
 

evan12

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2012
Messages
1,371
Reaction score
313
MOTU said:
I used to be fat and lost about 60lbs a couple of years ago. I still have a bit of a gut. About 2yrs ago I started lifting and have been doing so seriously for the last year. Now I have big arms, broad shoulders and back.

It's amazing how much my muscles come up. My fiance talks about my muscles all the time. Even her kids make references to how strong I am. Coworkers bring it up. Flight attendants make small comments.

Again, I am by no means a body builder. I would guess my body fat is still over 20%. But I look strong, and people notice and I get more respect. If I would eat less and drink less and lose the gut I imagine I would get even more attention.

So if you are struggling to lose weight, start lifting. Pick a good program like stronglifts or starting strengthen and stick with it. It's a slow process but over time you can really transform your body.
I have problem with motovation , I cant keep myself up for more than 2 weeks
 

thatfeel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 5, 2013
Messages
714
Reaction score
186
Whatever you do do not do GOMAD or you're just gonna stay fat
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

thatfeel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 5, 2013
Messages
714
Reaction score
186
Young OG said:
I'm the opposite. I have always struggled to gain weight. I started lifting in the middle of april. I've had huge gains in a small amount of time and have put on some pounds. I already have noticed more women checking me out then ever before. I can only imagine what it will be like by the end of the year. I'm at 7-8% body fat and I'm starting to see my abs coming in. Joining the gym was one of the best things I've done in my life. It has made me a happier person.
Uhh if youre 7 or 8 percent body fat and dont have abs you're not 7 or 8 percent body fat.
 

MOTU

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2014
Messages
638
Reaction score
72
Location
Houston, TX
evan12 said:
I have problem with motovation , I cant keep myself up for more than 2 weeks
Dude you need to overcome that. Get disciplined. Stick with it for a few months and it will get easier.
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2015
Messages
3,671
Reaction score
2,309
Location
Australia
Grrr weights cost me my Saturday night. Think I've done a rib cartilidge - very ouch and still got a sprained wrist from sports.

Still DJs are unstoppable. I shopped for new blazer/shirt/chinos today. Will go walking tonight (all I can do :-( while studying my chinese on head phone. And read my book for book club - me and 20 chicks :)
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Top