"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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"Giving Up" or "taking a break"?

kel

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I'm a point right now where I've come a long way. I'm not where I want to be yet, and i'm not seeing that point in the near future. I need a break. I no longer have the energy to persue women.

The last time I felt like this, it was 2 years ago, my freshman year, and I ended up meeting my girlfriend whom I dated for a year soon thereafter. Coincidence? probably.

Anyway, is this feeling common? Is it bad for a semi-rookie DJ to feel like this? Should I keep pushing on? I just dont feel like being social or anything like that....it all feels forced.

Any tips?

--Kel
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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justsomeguy1984

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my advice is to keep trying. i am an amateur DJ as well, but it is my experience that no matter how good-looking you are, it is not likely that women will come to you if you don't try. so if you really want a woman, you have to put forth some effort. if you really feel stressed, then by all means you can step back for a little while, but just don't expect the chicks to come to you cause it ain't gonna happen!!!
 

david90

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set aside a day where u can be an AFC with no pressure to recharge your battery. After that continue on.
 

kel

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The thing that threw me for a loop was I basically did that this saturday. I didn't give a flying f+ck about DJ or whatever, just did what I wanted. And i had EVERY girl i talked to that night hitting on me.

Sunday night? nothing. no game at all.
THe problem is that on days I dont try, sometimes I have it, sometimes I dont. On days I try, it seems like i'm trying too hard!

--Kel
 

Cremasta

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Originally posted by kel
I didn't give a flying f+ck about DJ or whatever, just did what I wanted. And i had EVERY girl i talked to that night hitting on me.
Did anyone else hear the penny drop?!?
If you are not sitting there thinking "Hang about, that was easy and it WORKED!!! Maybe I should do that again..." Then please beat yourself about the head with the nearest wall for at least 10 minutes.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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It reminds me of an old CitiBank comercial tagline:

"Spend wisely, Seek balance, Live Richly..."
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by kel
I'm a point right now where I've come a long way. I'm not where I want to be yet, and i'm not seeing that point in the near future. I need a break. I no longer have the energy to persue women.

The last time I felt like this, it was 2 years ago, my freshman year, and I ended up meeting my girlfriend whom I dated for a year soon thereafter. Coincidence? probably.

Anyway, is this feeling common? Is it bad for a semi-rookie DJ to feel like this? Should I keep pushing on? I just dont feel like being social or anything like that....it all feels forced.

Any tips?

--Kel
Try this: instead of "pursuing women", only pursue the women who REALLY turn you on.

A lot of people on here just aren't into every hot girl that walks up the street. It takes something else to turn them on. But they feel like they HAVE to "approach her" or else SoSuave will think they're "AFC".

Instead, just meet all the women you can, but don't "pursue" them until you find that one has you turned on for her. This natural attraction is probably the best weapon in your seductive arsenal, plus actually attaining her will be that much more gratifying.

Don't go to the flip-side, though, and start blowing women off that really DO turn you on, claiming that they DON'T when really you're too scared. Somewhere in the middle is the perfect place to be.
 

kel

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Sup fellow baltimore DJ.

Yeah, that balance is a good one. The problem is, i'm at a point right now where desperation is starting to kick in! If it's got a pretty face and a decent rack, i'm probably OK with it! i know I need to lose this despiration mindset but it's difficult to get out of the loop.
 

Don Juanabbe

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Everyone needs to take a break. Everyone needs to recharge their batteries. Nothing wrong with that at all.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

jond

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Originally posted by Don Juanabbe
Everyone needs to take a break. Everyone needs to recharge their batteries. Nothing wrong with that at all.
I agree. I'm taking a break as well right now. I just feel burned out thinking it all.

Also, its good to sometimes stop, step back, and make sure your still going in the right direction.
 

kel

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I dont know if i'm going the right way. I seemed to have it "on" without trying today, but it turns out that the girl in question had a BF. Now granted I think I had my A-Game with me and I could tell she was attracted to me, but it always seems to fall like that. It's very discouraging.

The fact that she only mentioned her BF a long while into the conversation, tried to sort of muffle the words, and spoke them very quickly made me wonder just how close these two were. I number-closed and made sure to sow the seeds in case the relationship isn't planning on lasting too long.

A quick question I think I know the answer to: when you're busting on a girl (or two as the case was), and you call her a not-so-nice name, and you get called an ******* by both, what's the deal?

Am I just being an *******? Are they testing me? My response was "i'd be offended if it wasn't true". with a big smirk. I just feel like I go overboard on being C+F and sometimes it borders just plain mean. I mean I have girls telling me I'm hilarious a lot, but i'm just trying to strike the right balance.

So much to do, so little energy to do it all!

--Kel

Edit: Read the post under Six String Samurai. Agreed. Good post :)
 
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Hoppy

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Don't worry about going overboard with the C+F. You ARE going to piss off the girls with no sense of humor but you don't want them anyways so who cares?
 
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