LittleBigOne
Don Juan
I was just wondering about this. There must be amazing stories which can help other DJ´s.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Sounds like you got that from the internet.Alex DeLarge said:-She touches you frequently
-She contacts you frequently
-She goes out of her way to see you
-She does favors for you
-Frequent eye contact in conversations. If she's locking eyes with you for prolonged periods of time.
-She laughs a lot in conversation with you, even if your jokes are stupid.
-She calls you handsome (not like your mom lol)
-She compliments you on what you're wearing
-If you've been dating her, she asks if you've been dating other people
-She wants to meet your friends (to make sure they aren't getting you into trouble lol)
-she texts you really late at night, or sends you a "good morning"/"good night" text.
Alex DeLarge said:Not by being an AFC and having emotional diarrhea on her.
Thats a good list, chock full of truth Alex.Alex DeLarge said:-She touches you frequently
-She contacts you frequently
-She goes out of her way to see you
-She does favors for you
-Frequent eye contact in conversations. If she's locking eyes with you for prolonged periods of time.
-She laughs a lot in conversation with you, even if your jokes are stupid.
-She calls you handsome (not like your mom lol)
-She compliments you on what you're wearing
-If you've been dating her, she asks if you've been dating other people
-She wants to meet your friends (to make sure they aren't getting you into trouble lol)
-she texts you really late at night, or sends you a "good morning"/"good night" text.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Oh no, another clueless idiot.pdx1138 said:Thats a good list, chock full of truth Alex.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Drop the ego, dude.loveorlust said:Oh no, another clueless idiot.
YES!! Very true.floydb25 said:Noticing details about your presentation; when it changes (ie, haircut)
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You never reason with a girl about her feelings, you think you can make her see sense that she really likes you? If she said that to you then just accept and move on, she's not joking and it's not a test.drift king said:I've had all of these mentioned above.. but then after a 3rd date she'll text me to say she was never attracted to me!! WTF?
Is this cos her present feelings are what matter and whatever happened before doesnt?
i tried to reason with her that she was.. but that's stupid having that kind of convo i realize but it just baffles me that a girl will show all kinds of IL and suddenly when she no longer feels it, states she never did. it's like a stab to the heart.
Yes. She lost interest. This is similar to saying they never loved or cared about you. They go by how they feel RIGHT NOW. It doesn't mean they never liked you.drift king said:I've had all of these mentioned above.. but then after a 3rd date she'll text me to say she was never attracted to me!! WTF?
Is this cos her present feelings are what matter and whatever happened before doesnt?
i tried to reason with her that she was.. but that's stupid having that kind of convo i realize but it just baffles me that a girl will show all kinds of IL and suddenly when she no longer feels it, states she never did. it's like a stab to the heart.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.