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Give me the brutal truth of cold approaching

bigdave17

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What's the best way to do it?

1)talk for a quick 5 to 10 minutes and ask her out?
2)talk for 25 to 40 minutes to build some comfort level?

What's a realistic closing percentage in terms of getting a date? let's say you're a 7/10 guy with a nice physique, can you expect even 20% of women to want to go out with you?

Aren't most hot girls in their 20s in a relationship?
 

taiyuu_otoko

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What's the best way to do it?
Step One: Notice somebody you'd like to talk to.

Step Two: Walk over and start talking.

Step Three: See what happens.

Do this at least 100 times (over the next few weeks months). ONLY when you have a bunch of REAL DATA in your brain will you start to actually have a clue.

Yes, this will be TERRIFYING.

But absolutely NOTHING you can do will make it less terrifying. All your hamster mechanics are to AVOID doing this. But UNLESS you suck it the fvck up and do this, you will NEVER EVER be in a relationship with a lady who spins your propellers.

That is the COLD HARD TRUTH.

Unless you are willing to suck it up and DO THAT (start approaching WITHOUT worrying about outcome) you will FOREVER be locked into your current box of NO LOVE NO SEX NO PVSSY.
 

bigdave17

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The brutal truth is that you are going to make a cvnt out of yourself plenty. And the responsible thing is to tell anyone looking to get into it to make that clear, and to make contingencies so that doesn't effect guys too much.

- you are going to get a tonne of knockbacks
- you are going to get a few b1tches
- you are going to handle all of that the wrong way sometimes

Imo, if a guy hasn't yet had say 5 girlfriends, then he shouldn't even be placing a focus on cold approach anyways. He should be focusing on solid basic life stuff and getting some girlfriends through social circles.

Once that sufficiently disturbs you, then maybe you dig deeper down the rabbit hole lol. This seems to be the natural, unforced progression.

Interestingly the average man doesn't even get that far with an average partner count of just 4.
i don't meet women in my daily routine

and especially not with my very strict standards
 

taiyuu_otoko

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i don't meet women
And you never will unless you PURPOSELY interact with attractive women on a regular basis.

But, you NEVER WILL.

You have a million built in EXCUSES why you can't.

And you THINK those excuses are the real reason.

But they are just a trick of cognitive dissonance to protect you of the REAL REASON.

The REAL REASON is you are TERRIFIED of talking to attractive females.

You are TERRIFIED of starting a conversation with any female you have no BUSINESS talking to.

And since you will NEVER admit this is your problem, NOR will address it, you will ONLY focus on the EXCUSES, you will never have success with women.

Not now.

Not ten years from now.

Not ever.

But that's OK, MGTOW and INCEL is always recruiting.
 

devilkingx2

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Seriously??... geez I'm a slut
There's disagreeing results, other studies have said up to 7 or 10 on average even for women (who are known to lie down rather than up), a recent study would probably be much higher in the wake of a culture that's sex positive and encourages hookups (pop music, college/high school movies from the 2000s, etc.) whilst making it super easy for you with things like tinder
 

Dr.Suave

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What's the best way to do it?

1)talk for a quick 5 to 10 minutes and ask her out?
2)talk for 25 to 40 minutes to build some comfort level?

What's a realistic closing percentage in terms of getting a date? let's say you're a 7/10 guy with a nice physique, can you expect even 20% of women to want to go out with you?

Aren't most hot girls in their 20s in a relationship?
25 minutes is way too much time for a cold approach unless both of you are stuck together in a class or some other activity. Usually less than 10 min is all you need to make fun of her and number close.


There´s a cute little snack shop a couple of blocks from my house. They sell elotes, antojitos, their own ice cream, etc. Bunch of families but if you go at night, half of the customers are hot girls. I´ve gotten quite a few number closes in there.

I remember this one time I had night plans with a plate, so I went to said snack spot by myself before meeting my plate. So I got my snack and took a seat near the ordering window and start enjoying my snack. This HB8 goes to the ordering window and starts ordering, and I start teasing her about I don´t even remember what while she waited for her order (This was like 3 minutes). Her order was to go. When she was about to leave I was like "Yo B1tch! Pass me a napkin" (I didn´t say "b1tch", can´t remember the actual words) and she did pass me a napkin and left.

Few minutes later I was enjoying my snack and HB8 came back and she was like "I think I forgot my phone around here" and starts looking around for it. I was like "Yo! Babe! Want me to ring u up?" and she gives me her number. Turns out, her phone was in her purse all along, she just "forgot" it was in there.



I remember this other time, went to a natural vitamin shop and there was this young little HB9 working there. So I wanna buy some stuff but they are out of stock. I pay for the stuff and leave my cell phone number so they can give me a call when they have it and I can pick it up. Few days later, young little HB9 texts me from her personal number to tell me they got my order. BOOM, got her digits without even asking.
 

devilkingx2

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What's the best way to do it?

1)talk for a quick 5 to 10 minutes and ask her out?
2)talk for 25 to 40 minutes to build some comfort level?

What's a realistic closing percentage in terms of getting a date? let's say you're a 7/10 guy with a nice physique, can you expect even 20% of women to want to go out with you?

Aren't most hot girls in their 20s in a relationship?
Here's the top things you need to know about cold approaching in my experience:

1. It's for improving your skills and practice primarily, don't actually expect to slay countless women via cold approach.

2. It's easy as hell if you focus on doing something you want to do rather than trying to get girls. Think of novelty openers you want to try out, test out theories and ideas, win bets with your friends, have fun with it. Ask their opinion on this article: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/air-conditioning-office-still-sexist-dont-care-anyone-says/

3. Your goal is only allowed to be something that you have actual control and influence over. Your goal is NOT to fvck the girl. You cannot control her actions and will go home feeling like a pathetic failure who can't accomplish a goal in 100 tries, instead set goals like approaching 10 girls today, getting 10 phone numbers this week, making every girl you approach laugh, making at least one girl blush, etc.

EDIT 4. Getting numbers isn't that important, most girls won't text you back no matter how the approach went, however if you focus on what you csn get out of them in the moment, you'll be able to have an idea of what numbers are worth getting (instant dates, compliance tests, agreeing to go out with you some other time in the future, etc. Plus the super ultra rare cold approach kino or kiss situation)
 
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bigdave17

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25 minutes is way too much time for a cold approach unless both of you are stuck together in a class or some other activity. Usually less than 10 min is all you need to make fun of her and number close.


There´s a cute little snack shop a couple of blocks from my house. They sell elotes, antojitos, their own ice cream, etc. Bunch of families but if you go at night, half of the customers are hot girls. I´ve gotten quite a few number closes in there.

I remember this one time I had night plans with a plate, so I went to said snack spot by myself before meeting my plate. So I got my snack and took a seat near the ordering window and start enjoying my snack. This HB8 goes to the ordering window and starts ordering, and I start teasing her about I don´t even remember what while she waited for her order (This was like 3 minutes). Her order was to go. When she was about to leave I was like "Yo B1tch! Pass me a napkin" (I didn´t say "b1tch", can´t remember the actual words) and she did pass me a napkin and left.

Few minutes later I was enjoying my snack and HB8 came back and she was like "I think I forgot my phone around here" and starts looking around for it. I was like "Yo! Babe! Want me to ring u up?" and she gives me her number. Turns out, her phone was in her purse all along, she just "forgot" it was in there.



I remember this other time, went to a natural vitamin shop and there was this young little HB9 working there. So I wanna buy some stuff but they are out of stock. I pay for the stuff and leave my cell phone number so they can give me a call when they have it and I can pick it up. Few days later, young little HB9 texts me from her personal number to tell me they got my order. BOOM, got her digits without even asking.
so how often are you getting dates and lays from cold approaching?
 

taiyuu_otoko

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so how often are you getting dates and lays from cold approaching?
There goes dave, building up his EXCUSE for why cold approaching is "not for him."

See, if he isn't guaranteed of a TANGIBLE result from any cold approach, why should he do it?

You don't cold approach because you HOPE to get a specific result. You cold approach so you can get better at cold approaching, until cold approaching ITSELF is something that is enjoyable.

When you get to THAT level, you'll have a personality that women find naturally attractive.

No lady is attracted to a guy who is too scared to talk to girls. They might be attracted to his money, but they aren't attracted to him.
 

bigdave17

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There goes dave, building up his EXCUSE for why cold approaching is "not for him."

See, if he isn't guaranteed of a TANGIBLE result from any cold approach, why should he do it?

You don't cold approach because you HOPE to get a specific result. You cold approach so you can get better at cold approaching, until cold approaching ITSELF is something that is enjoyable.

When you get to THAT level, you'll have a personality that women find naturally attractive.

No lady is attracted to a guy who is too scared to talk to girls. They might be attracted to his money, but they aren't attracted to him.
holy hell, will anybody answer my questions?

am I better off going in there for a quick kill number or do you stick around to build some comfort level?

and i need to know what a decent closing percentage is so I can brace for the impact. I don't want to try, close at 5% and be incredibly frustrated when 5% is normal?
 

nicksaiz65

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holy hell, will anybody answer my questions?

am I better off going in there for a quick kill number or do you stick around to build some comfort level?

and i need to know what a decent closing percentage is so I can brace for the impact. I don't want to try, close at 5% and be incredibly frustrated when 5% is normal?
Read a book or watch some videos on it, they could probably explain it better than I could
 

zekko

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Interestingly the average man doesn't even get that far with an average partner count of just 4.
I always hear stats like this, but I find them hard to believe.
I suppose the "average man" is comprised of a combination of incels and guys who meet and settle down with a girl at a young age.

Like a friend of mine, who married his high school girlfriend. If your early relationships don't fail, then you don't end up with a lot of partners.
Mine failed lol.
Funny thing is, this friend of mine is one of the most skilled flirters I know. He can quickly get a woman's interest, but he won't go anywhere with it because he loves his family (wife and kids).
 

devilkingx2

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am I better off going in there for a quick kill number or do you stick around to build some comfort level?
Quick if It's urgent, build comfort if her interest is not high


and i need to know what a decent closing percentage is so I can brace for the impact. I don't want to try, close at 5% and be incredibly frustrated when 5% is normal?
Depends on a lot of variables

I'd say anywhere from 1-10% is normal. It's not normal to need 100+ approaches I don't think, but it's not normal to be able to do a few approaches a day and get a date every evening of the week either, that's wild.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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holy hell, will anybody answer my questions?

am I better off going in there for a quick kill number or do you stick around to build some comfort level?
Start talking to girls. All these requests for information are just you DELAYING the process.

Thinking you need to plan for contingencies beforehand is an EXCUSE to keep you on the sidelines.

All excuses to keep you on the sidelines are cognitive dissonance so you don't have to admit you are TERRIFIED of talking to girls.

But since you WANT an answer, here's one.

Talk to 100 girls. Walk up to them and say this.

"Hi, I'm Dave. I think you're cute. I don't have a lot of time right now but I'd like to get to know you better. Why don't you give me your number so we can get together later? If you're not comfortable with that I understand. What do you say?"

Do that one hundred times and then report back.
 

devilkingx2

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But since you WANT an answer, here's one.

Talk to 100 girls. Walk up to them and say this.

"Hi, I'm Dave. I think you're cute. I don't have a lot of time right now but I'd like to get to know you better. Why don't you give me your number so we can get together later? If you're not comfortable with that I understand. What do you say?"

Do that one hundred times and then report back
Uhhh... This seems like a pretty bad opener. A good closer, but just right off the bat opening with "give me your number lets get together"? Maybe if he only approaches girls giving heavy IOIs

I think he should start with something more beginner friendly, not something that requires lots of confidence and balls of steel.
 

Von

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Here's the Cold Hard Truth about Cold approches.

100% of your ONS/LTR/Plate are from Cold approches.

Every girl you talk to, you are introduced to, you swipe on OLD, coworkers, friends matching, meetup.... You are doing a Cold Approach!

You need to create interest in the girl... No matter the source she's coming from... To be with you, she must like you!

My personnal expérience: 100% of the girls i've béen with... The many ONS, the few LTR, the one I wife up... All came from cold approaches.

It's the same for everyone here, including OP. Think about it Cold Approach is 100% success to have a woman in your life
 

bigdave17

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Quick if It's urgent, build comfort if her interest is not high




Depends on a lot of variables

I'd say anywhere from 1-10% is normal. It's not normal to need 100+ approaches I don't think, but it's not normal to be able to do a few approaches a day and get a date every evening of the week either, that's wild.
what's the biggest barrier in the way? whether or not girl is actually wanting to meet someone?
 

Serenity

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1)talk for a quick 5 to 10 minutes and ask her out?
2)talk for 25 to 40 minutes to build some comfort level?
It doesn't work like that. Some you might get a yes after 5-10 minutes, some will say yes after 25-40 minutes, some will say yes after a few hours and some will never say yes. It depends on how quickly she's attracted to you, how willing she is to act on that attraction (some say no even though they're attracted, simply because they think it's too soon) and how good your game is.

It takes the time it takes. You're thinking you can set a timer and after the time of talking runs out you can ask, this doesn't work. You can't be that blind in game. You must learn through practice to "read" when the right time is, you must consider the context of your interaction.

Really specific rules like the ones you're looking for just doesn't exist. The rules that do exist are vague and in the end you must interpret every case individually on the fly anyways.
 
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