We all flirt with other girls, but I was wondering if you guys ever deal with cases where it becomes just 1 girl in particular you start flirting with more and more... To the point where you wonder what might happen if you broke it off. I was feeling that for like, over a year, but now the girl in question is out of town for good. So I'll never know. Or maybe if I run into her down the line it'll be rekindled. It was never anything close to cheating, more of a thing where she was my go-to person to joke around with every party I went to. But who knows, maybe she was only into that cause I was a harmless dude with a girlfriend.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Girls you flirt with while in a relationship
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- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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I'm assuming you did not make a move on this girl because you did not want to mess up your relationship, as opposed to just not having the nerve.
If you felt there was some sort of attraction there, there probably was. I've been in numerous situations like this where I've been curious about a girl, we get along well, etc. But I'm in a relationship (and so is she usually) so nothing happens. I've been around the block a few times so I don't really feel like I'm missing anything. If you're a young guy who haven't sown your wild oats yet though, you may not be ready to be in a serious relationship if you feel like it is holding you back. Only you can answer that.
It may be that she was in a relationship also, and just enjoyed the flirtations. She may not have wanted to put her relationship in jeopardy either. Or she may have responded and been open to an affair if you had made a move. Like you said, you'll probably never know.
If you felt there was some sort of attraction there, there probably was. I've been in numerous situations like this where I've been curious about a girl, we get along well, etc. But I'm in a relationship (and so is she usually) so nothing happens. I've been around the block a few times so I don't really feel like I'm missing anything. If you're a young guy who haven't sown your wild oats yet though, you may not be ready to be in a serious relationship if you feel like it is holding you back. Only you can answer that.
It may be that she was in a relationship also, and just enjoyed the flirtations. She may not have wanted to put her relationship in jeopardy either. Or she may have responded and been open to an affair if you had made a move. Like you said, you'll probably never know.
Yeah, I knew I could make the move (I've already made out with her, etc, years ago when I was single), but there's a line you have to be willing to cross, and I didn't see the point in breaking off a perfectly good relationship for maybe a few months worth of being able to go further with her. It's just a time to reflect now that she's gone -- maybe it's time to break off my relationship, or maybe was just a transient thing.
Nothing wrong with flirting with a girl. Always have another girl lined up in case your relationship ends. Relationships actually ruin a guys chances to get more girls. Better to be single dating different girls than just to be tied down with one.
Konada
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True but what's the point of dating if you don't intend to find someone whom you can be in a great relationship with ultimately? To get as much poon as possible? Honestly, I'd rather be with one quality girl than be around dating a couple of substandard girls and missing out on a great relationship.Pardner said:
Of course, that being said, you shouldn't be in a relationship with a sh1tty girl in the first place.
Sorry for hijacking your thread OP. Had something to voice out.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.