"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Girls with kids.
- Thread starter Hoppy
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Mistake? You assume too much. I've dated widowers with children and divorcees with children, none of which were a mistake...
That's not to say that there aren't some dumb ass sluts out there... but if you use good judgement you should be fine.
Well he's only 20 so I assumed they would be younger.
Still even if they are widowers or divorces I can't understand why somebody would want to get into a relationship when they have all of that baggage. Again there are plenty of single women without kids so why date one with kids?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Basically my type in every way.
Smart, beautiful, great sense of humor.
I can deal with the kid as long as it doesn't become my problem. I don't let girls move in with me and it seems like the girl's mom is more then willing to babysit most of the time.
I think i'm going to take things slow and see how much of a burden the kid is. If it gets to be too much i'll walk. It's a 18month old boy btw.
I like kids, i just don't want to raise one.
single women with children = sluts
unless they are divorced. If this is a young one that never got married it is definitely a slut. Just the way it is im not trying to be mean ,but im not going to come here and lie and say they're saints and are good for you. Im just giving you advice so you can make a good decision.
they come with emotional, financial baggage that is not easy to heal and will give you a lot of problems.
Cloudtopsun2100
Senior Don Juan
best would be to hit it and quit it otherwise if you with her for a long time letting her move in with you or something- some guys get hit having to pay alimony and shi* cause of some crazy legal crap
icecreaman
Don Juan
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I know how you feel but there are some single mothers out there that are hot as s#$t. Like someone else said its best to just hit and quit.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Single motherhood is practically a cottage industry these days. I understand the desire to be her noble savior in exchange for sex, but you have to resist this. Single moms make it all too easy and willingly prostitute themselves for the security a man will afford them. That might seem extreme, but trust me, they are keenly aware of their own conditions and will try as hard as a fat chick to keep a guy and get him to commit. She did it once and she'll do it again.
Now there are the occasional widows of course and you can't operate under these assumptions with them, but you can count on the fact that eventually you will be expected to fill a preconceived role and you will never be her first priority - the child(ren) will be, and this is as it should be really. The energy you will expend in this situation will NEVER pay off when compared to starting a fresh relationship with a childless woman.
I'm only passionate about this because I have numerous friends who I constantly counsel about just this mistake to this day. They started out thinking that they'd be these women's saviors and their sacrifice would be appreciated with good sex, but this was only temporary. After marriage they quickly found out just why she was single to begin with and it wasn't because the previous guy was the 'big jerk' she made him out to be. Single mommies generally aren't the victims they'd like you to think they are. They're not single moms because they had a history of good decision making.
Dont do it.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
She was married.
Here it is.
I have never meet her son in the 6 months we have been going out.
I told her I did not want a relationship - and I do not want to meet her son - ever.
If she wants to have fun, hang out etc. then I am more than willing. But I do not want a relationship. I will walk if she pushed me for more.
You've got to lay it down on the outset.
Fortunately this woman - who is now 26 - was with her Husband for 8 yrs. They meet when she was 16 - so now she is just looking to have fun with someone and catch up on lost time.
We were all children once, so I don't think we should treat all single moms like lepers, BUT, it is a ton of responsibility. I think you should only get involved with a single mom if you are planning on staying around. And realize that the child has needs that should be met, if you stick around to be a step-father, you should do your best to help improve the gene pool. So if she is a keeper the two most important rules that must be met are:
1) The child goes to bed promptly at bed time, so that you can have some couple time.
2) The child always sleeps in their own bed.
That being said, at the first hint of drama or A.W. behavior, get out quick.
InsidiousNstinct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2003
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- 763
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- 40
Negative ghost rider the pattern is full.......
1. Baby daddy must be completely out of the picture, except when it comes to him seeing the kid and paying child support.
2. She is spending her time taking care of her kid instead of leaving it with her family/friends just so she can party/go to clubs.
3. She makes time to be able to kick it with me.
4. She has to be a good mother to her kid.
5. She knows who the baby daddy is(dont want a woman who slept around and doesn't know who her kid's father is).
6. Has all the kids from the same man(Dont want a woman whose had multiple kids from multiple men).
7. Does not expect me to be baby sitting her kids and all, while she goes out and partys/clubs.
8. Does not expect me to spend money on the kid, especially early on.
Those are pretty much my general rules when it comes to dating single moms. I was involved with one before who broke all those rules, back in my AFC days. She had multiple children from multiple men, didn't know who her second baby daddy was. We got a hotel room and she had to take the kids with her(couldnt leave em at parents house). She didnt care if we had sex and her kids were noticing. I had to stop her cause no matter whose kid is around, I believe in being a good influence. Toward the end she complained how she oculdn't go out to clubs and all cause of her kids. All in all, she made many single moms look bad. But I can't generalize just on her.
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
If the woman has one kid with one guy and is catching up with her life, how many more red flags do you need when she has 2 or 3 kids by 2 or 3 fathers?
Single Mommie = AFC bait.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Now that was raw like sushi...
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