"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Girls with kids.
- Thread starter Hoppy
- Start date
- Status
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Mistake? You assume too much. I've dated widowers with children and divorcees with children, none of which were a mistake...
That's not to say that there aren't some dumb ass sluts out there... but if you use good judgement you should be fine.
Well he's only 20 so I assumed they would be younger.
Still even if they are widowers or divorces I can't understand why somebody would want to get into a relationship when they have all of that baggage. Again there are plenty of single women without kids so why date one with kids?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Basically my type in every way.
Smart, beautiful, great sense of humor.
I can deal with the kid as long as it doesn't become my problem. I don't let girls move in with me and it seems like the girl's mom is more then willing to babysit most of the time.
I think i'm going to take things slow and see how much of a burden the kid is. If it gets to be too much i'll walk. It's a 18month old boy btw.
I like kids, i just don't want to raise one.
single women with children = sluts
unless they are divorced. If this is a young one that never got married it is definitely a slut. Just the way it is im not trying to be mean ,but im not going to come here and lie and say they're saints and are good for you. Im just giving you advice so you can make a good decision.
they come with emotional, financial baggage that is not easy to heal and will give you a lot of problems.
Cloudtopsun2100
Senior Don Juan
best would be to hit it and quit it otherwise if you with her for a long time letting her move in with you or something- some guys get hit having to pay alimony and shi* cause of some crazy legal crap
icecreaman
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2004
- Messages
- 116
- Reaction score
- 0
- Age
- 46
I know how you feel but there are some single mothers out there that are hot as s#$t. Like someone else said its best to just hit and quit.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Single motherhood is practically a cottage industry these days. I understand the desire to be her noble savior in exchange for sex, but you have to resist this. Single moms make it all too easy and willingly prostitute themselves for the security a man will afford them. That might seem extreme, but trust me, they are keenly aware of their own conditions and will try as hard as a fat chick to keep a guy and get him to commit. She did it once and she'll do it again.
Now there are the occasional widows of course and you can't operate under these assumptions with them, but you can count on the fact that eventually you will be expected to fill a preconceived role and you will never be her first priority - the child(ren) will be, and this is as it should be really. The energy you will expend in this situation will NEVER pay off when compared to starting a fresh relationship with a childless woman.
I'm only passionate about this because I have numerous friends who I constantly counsel about just this mistake to this day. They started out thinking that they'd be these women's saviors and their sacrifice would be appreciated with good sex, but this was only temporary. After marriage they quickly found out just why she was single to begin with and it wasn't because the previous guy was the 'big jerk' she made him out to be. Single mommies generally aren't the victims they'd like you to think they are. They're not single moms because they had a history of good decision making.
Dont do it.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
She was married.
Here it is.
I have never meet her son in the 6 months we have been going out.
I told her I did not want a relationship - and I do not want to meet her son - ever.
If she wants to have fun, hang out etc. then I am more than willing. But I do not want a relationship. I will walk if she pushed me for more.
You've got to lay it down on the outset.
Fortunately this woman - who is now 26 - was with her Husband for 8 yrs. They meet when she was 16 - so now she is just looking to have fun with someone and catch up on lost time.
We were all children once, so I don't think we should treat all single moms like lepers, BUT, it is a ton of responsibility. I think you should only get involved with a single mom if you are planning on staying around. And realize that the child has needs that should be met, if you stick around to be a step-father, you should do your best to help improve the gene pool. So if she is a keeper the two most important rules that must be met are:
1) The child goes to bed promptly at bed time, so that you can have some couple time.
2) The child always sleeps in their own bed.
That being said, at the first hint of drama or A.W. behavior, get out quick.
InsidiousNstinct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2003
- Messages
- 763
- Reaction score
- 4
- Age
- 40
Negative ghost rider the pattern is full.......
1. Baby daddy must be completely out of the picture, except when it comes to him seeing the kid and paying child support.
2. She is spending her time taking care of her kid instead of leaving it with her family/friends just so she can party/go to clubs.
3. She makes time to be able to kick it with me.
4. She has to be a good mother to her kid.
5. She knows who the baby daddy is(dont want a woman who slept around and doesn't know who her kid's father is).
6. Has all the kids from the same man(Dont want a woman whose had multiple kids from multiple men).
7. Does not expect me to be baby sitting her kids and all, while she goes out and partys/clubs.
8. Does not expect me to spend money on the kid, especially early on.
Those are pretty much my general rules when it comes to dating single moms. I was involved with one before who broke all those rules, back in my AFC days. She had multiple children from multiple men, didn't know who her second baby daddy was. We got a hotel room and she had to take the kids with her(couldnt leave em at parents house). She didnt care if we had sex and her kids were noticing. I had to stop her cause no matter whose kid is around, I believe in being a good influence. Toward the end she complained how she oculdn't go out to clubs and all cause of her kids. All in all, she made many single moms look bad. But I can't generalize just on her.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
If the woman has one kid with one guy and is catching up with her life, how many more red flags do you need when she has 2 or 3 kids by 2 or 3 fathers?
Single Mommie = AFC bait.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Now that was raw like sushi...
- Status