You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Everything else made me shake my head at the stupidity of your keyboard discussion.Julius_Seizeher said:Living alone=raging slvt?
That's a dumb argument to try to make. Stop trying to be an armchair psychologist of everyone else, it's a very neurotic habit.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
look at the facts, she lives alone. she can bring a guy round any time she wants. has noone to judge her, no roommates no friends. no one knows, except her neighbours.Julius_Seizeher said:Living alone=raging slvt?
That's a dumb argument to try to make. Stop trying to be an armchair psychologist of everyone else, it's a very neurotic habit.
Julius_Seizeher said:Living alone=raging slvt?
That's a dumb argument to try to make. Stop trying to be an armchair psychologist of everyone else, it's a very neurotic habit.
yeah they may be independent, but also noone can stand living with them and they can't live with someone else. women get lonley if they're by themselves.gimmeyofonenumba said:Listen to killer diller. You guys need to socialize more. Most woman that live alone are independent with a decent job. Some of the slutiest women I've met had roomates. One had been with over 50 guys and her roomate was constantly bringing guys over, like the bunny house or something. They see their roomate with a guy and get jealous and get their own. I'd take a girl that lives by herself any day. Strong sign of confidence.
im not a troll.Iceberg said:He's a troll.
You're better off not treating him like a real person.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
yes, ok but then if she lives by herself she CAN act like a slvt if she wanted and noone would know?5string said:If she lives alone or with a roommate is no indication as to whether or not she's a slvt.
If she has a cat or a bird, well, that's a different story.
pete101 said:im not a troll.
unfortunately everything i've written is true, pathetically maybe, but still true.
you keep talking about advice given to me and i dont listen, i do listen but nobody explains to me the theory as to WHY you need to do it this way or that. i've read the DJB but it doesn't work into my exact situations.
and by the time i'm given advice it's too late, the next stage of the interaction between me and said HB is already on a different level i.e. i've texted something else not because i didnt listen but noone replied in time, so there's a new scenario.. then people like you keep going on and on about how i dont listen and take advice when that said advice is too late to take, hence my next questions.
advice is only good to a person if it's at that same stage it's needed.
'move on forget about her get new plates' advice is not helpful.. you havent' explained why what i did was wrong, i'm trying to learn what i'm doing wrong each time so i dont do it again, but all the advice is always 'just get new plates' so i go from plate to plate not learning anything.
not everyone who lives alone is are sluts, but the potential to be one is there without anyone knowing. The girl I am seeing lives alone in an apartment, very independent, very clean and tidy. Is she a slut? she doesn't seem so to me but she could be without me knowing about it.pete101 said:yes, ok but then if she lives by herself she CAN act like a slvt if she wanted and noone would know?
no the answers and advice are good, the problem is the advice given to me is too late.. i.e. i've asked for something to write/textIceberg said:Ha. Right.
Then isn't it strange that you keep returning to this site asking questions, when you dislike the quality of the answers given to you?
this is what i try to focus on, her own place is great cos u dont have to worry about the roommate being b1tchy or anything. but how can you really tell, if she says 'my friends say i should have a different guy round every weekend, but i say i dont, i respect myself too much.' this just makes me think she has in the past, and not so much now.Htienvu said:not everyone who lives alone is are sluts, but the potential to be one is there without anyone knowing. The girl I am seeing lives alone in an apartment, very independent, very clean and tidy. Is she a slut? she doesn't seem so to me but she could be without me knowing about it.
But I don't think about that, I am thinking I am having a good time with her at the moment and she having her own apartment is a bonus.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.