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Girls from dating websites not that good looking

Survivor

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Its nice to see this topic still popping up. Its an important one for mature single men.

I think one of the biggest lures for internet dating is the anonymity. It eliminates the Fear of Public Embarrassment.

You can send out e-flyers to forty or so women and get maybe two responses. Sure you just landed two hookups, but you've also just been rejected 38 times. What's the difference between that and real life? Nothing, except there's virtually no public embarassment.

If we got over our fear of public embarrassment, we'd put match.com out of business overnight.

I used dating sites when I was single with some success so I know it can be done, but only as a supplement to real life. Sure, I landed some dates on the net when I was single, but I met my wife in real life through a mutual friend.

If you see a woman in real life that you like, approach her. Talk to her. Make conversation. She'll know that you like her. Why? Because you're talking to her (Women aren't stupid.). Just be comfortable in your own skin, speak with confidence, and be prepared to embrace rejection with class and dignity when it happens.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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[rant=on]
I still find it funny about the abundance of insight into approaching a woman; any woman. Approach, approach, approach is the marching theme without mention of qualifying them. Engage the enemy and if they succumb to your interesting demeanor you've won the battle.

Seldom is it mentioned about how to tell if the woman you approached on her looks alone is even compatible with you. So we continue to engage women who we eventually reference as the "enemy wh0re" because she completely wacky "out of the blue."

So we continue to approach, not knowing who we are engaging; as long as we endure, we will emerge victorious (we hope).
[/rant]
 

penkitten

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it is the same for men.
do you know how tired i was of seeing profiles for unattractive men when i was single?
and if you are decent looking and add a picture, you can't even log into some of those sites without being bombarded with the im's.
it is a great confidence boost when everyone sends messages all freggin day but when you weed out the profiles, you begin to feel you are wasting your time and eventually stop logging in there.
 

edger

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
If you think about it, why would sensible people wanting something more engage people who aren't willing to put up something to prove that they are serious about who'd they like to meet?
But Francisco, aren't women(particularly hot women) notorious for engaging "bad boys/jerks" who aren't "serious"? Don't they prove that over and over?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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edger said:
But Francisco, aren't women(particularly hot women) notorious for engaging "bad boys/jerks" who aren't "serious"? Don't they prove that over and over?
True, but notice I prefaced the statement by noting "sensible" people (I know, it's subjective). Women who want the stereotypical bad boy don't need to go to paying sites. Besides, bad boy's don't typically feel the need to go onto those sites. They'll troll the social networks for quick NSA action.
 

Zimbabwe

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Because many women turn to dating sites because they aren't having much luck in real life getting a guy. Ugly and fat women will have to put in more effort to find dating candidates because pretty women will get approached more in real life. Hot women don't need to go on dating sites, they're meeting men in real life
 

SW15

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Wow, so amazing to look at a thread from 2007 and see how relevant it is now. When this original post was written, swipe apps were still 5 years away. Apple would not release the iPhone for another 3 weeks.

I just tried Plentyoffish. And most of the girls there are fugly. And the few that aren't, I am told, get about 40 emails per day. A lot of the women are older, some of them are younger but a disproportionate high # of them also have kids. I just don't understand these types of dating websites where any girl (even the ones that are very below average) get messaged constantly.
PlentyofFish is alive in 2021 but on life support. It got its status bumped down once Tinder got big.

40 emails a day was nothing in the website era. I knew women in the 2010-2013 era (near the end of websites and before swipe apps got huge) that were getting 100-200 emails a day on OkCupid and PlentyofFish.

Now, the flooded inbox has been replaced by the flooded swipe queue. Women's swipe app inboxes are full too.

One woman talked about a swipe queue of 1,946 men on Bumble in 2017.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/26/...ng-monogamy-as-1946-men-await-your-swipe.html

Agree on too many single moms on websites then and swipe apps now.

If you think about it, why would a good looking socially adjusted single girl be registering to use dating services on the internet? They probably have a lot of prospects in real life.
Because many women turn to dating sites because they aren't having much luck in real life getting a guy. Ugly and fat women will have to put in more effort to find dating candidates because pretty women will get approached more in real life. Hot women don't need to go on dating sites, they're meeting men in real life
The major change before 2007 and now that there is less in-person approaching now than in 2007. The 2020-2021 global pandemic has reduced in-person approaching, but it was diminishing throughout the 2010s. A large percentage of the populace moved to tech assisted dating means from 2007 onwards to the present.

It's still true that tech assisted means are the least preferred method. If women aren't meeting men in real life through strangers approaching them or their social circles, then they go to the swipe apps. The best women today still don't make it to the swipe apps, even if a large percentage of the single population now uses tech to find dates as compared to 2007.

If they really were okay with meeting people online, I'm sure they would have already met them with Myspace or Facebook.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Sliding into DMs now on Instagram has replaced MySpace and Facebook private messages for finding dates. Facebook is now a platform for 45+ older people. Lots of thirsty men are also trying to find dates on LinkedIn, which wasn't happening in 2007. LinkedIn was around then but much smaller than it is today and most people on LinkedIn in 2007 were good about professional decorum in a setting that doesn't involve in-person interaction.

I have just found it rather inefficient to use these websites if you're going for the hot 21 year old girl you see rollerblading at the park or walking her dog or the one at the gym or restaurant or mall. It might be a different story if you're going for women who are over 30 or you don't mind the young single mothers.
Tech means for finding dates are inefficient. They're probably more inefficient now than in 2007. It doesn't matter if you're chasing 21, 31, or 41 year olds. It's better to find them in person.

Online "sarging" is best for older men who have good "criteria" (income, career, religion, etc.), because a lot of women who are over 30 hardly ever go out in social settings outside a large group of friends.

It stands to reason that younger women who resort to online dating are either not all that hot, and/or have a ridiculous "laundry list" that buries reality in a deep grave.
Still true today. Yes, you can find women 30+ who are single in the real world but that audience is easier to find behind an electronic screen.

I wouldn't put too much energy into the online love hunt. It's a waste of time and doesn't help you progress as a man.
Perfectly said!

Its nice to see this topic still popping up. Its an important one for mature single men.

I think one of the biggest lures for internet dating is the anonymity. It eliminates the Fear of Public Embarrassment.

You can send out e-flyers to forty or so women and get maybe two responses. Sure you just landed two hookups, but you've also just been rejected 38 times. What's the difference between that and real life? Nothing, except there's virtually no public embarassment.

If we got over our fear of public embarrassment, we'd put match.com out of business overnight.

I used dating sites when I was single with some success so I know it can be done, but only as a supplement to real life. Sure, I landed some dates on the net when I was single, but I met my wife in real life through a mutual friend.

If you see a woman in real life that you like, approach her. Talk to her. Make conversation. She'll know that you like her. Why? Because you're talking to her (Women aren't stupid.). Just be comfortable in your own skin, speak with confidence, and be prepared to embrace rejection with class and dignity when it happens.
Instead of carpet bombing inboxes on dating websites like Match, PlentyofFish and OkCupid (called e-flyers above), men are now swiping like maniacs on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge and then texting within the app and eventually with their regular phone numbers to get women. The mathematics today are more unfavorable than they were in 2007.

In the website era, my response rate for messages sent was low. However, it was higher than my match percentage per swipe.

There's an illusion of efficiency in trying to find dates behind an electronic screen because you're often sitting at home in your underwear while doing it. There's no need to shower, get dress, take public transport/park a car, and go to a bar/non-bar setting to find dates. There have been times I went out to a walking path/park on a weekend afternoon to do approaches for 2 hours and didn't get a number or a viable prospect. Heck, I was lucky to get 15 seconds of attention from women some days. After a bad daygaming session like that, sending out "e-flyers" sounds appealing. It isn't any better but the rejections are often softer.[/QUOTE]
 
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