Girls act disinterested after first meet but really are

[tryst type]

What the? I've had two girls admit this to me in the past week after I felt they weren't feeling it and I simply moved on. What's going on? Something I'm doing wrong?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Tryst,
I do hope you are not acting desperate and asking if they are interested....Mate if you cant tell whether they are interested in Two minutes,you should give the game away....People are never honest,sometimes for the nicest reasons....Don't ever be stupid enough to judge anyone Male or Female by what they say,rather by how they Act!Let Neville Chamberlain be your lesson LOL.

 

[Desdinova]

Always assume interest unless proven otherwise.

 

[tryst type]

What I mean is, the date will go fine then when I follow up I never hear from them. I'll send a text a couple days later and nothing.

Then days will pass and they'll ask why I stopped contacting them. I say I thought not hearing from you meant you weren't interested so I moved on, then they admit they were interested just wanted me to pursue more.

Whaat?

Only thing I can think of is at the end of the first date I don't make mention of another or try to set one up before she leaves, I just leave things open.

 

[zekko]

Then days will pass and they'll ask why I stopped contacting them. I say I thought not hearing from you meant you weren't interested so I moved on, then they admit they were interested just wanted me to pursue more.

Just goes to show that there is no formula.

I wonder if there is a subtle way to suggest that you don't think they were interested because other girls showed far more interest with you? That would tell them that other girls were interested, while letting them know that their behavior was off.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

What I mean is, the date will go fine then when I follow up I never hear from them. I'll send a text a couple days later and nothing.

Then days will pass and they'll ask why I stopped contacting them. I say I thought not hearing from you meant you weren't interested so I moved on, then they admit they were interested just wanted me to pursue more.

Whaat?

Only thing I can think of is at the end of the first date I don't make mention of another or try to set one up before she leaves, I just leave things open.

I would advise to avoid the bold, IMO and experience it is 10x better to "leave things open". If the plate has any interests she will give you subtle hints for future dates during the first. EX: she talks about other date ideas, she's kinoing you.

I say I thought not hearing from you meant you weren't interested so I moved on.

I would avoid saying this^^ Always display 100% confidence.

 

[Night-hawk]

Always assume interest unless proven otherwise.

Right there.

 

[tryst type]

I would advise to avoid the bold, IMO and experience it is 10x better to "leave things open". If the plate has any interests she will give you subtle hints for future dates during the first. EX: she talks about other date ideas, she's kinoing you.

I say I thought not hearing from you meant you weren't interested so I moved on.

I would avoid saying this^^ Always display 100% confidence.

So just act as if I hadn't noticed?

 

[disgustipated]

1. You don't have to answer ever question someone asks you. Especially a female. Especially a **** test. Just change subjects.

2. if you do answer...THEN reply with something that either blows it off(the question), changes subjects or overwhelmingly confident. That should be your defecto personality anyway cuz you're a great guy right? You do believe that about yourself right?

 

[zekko]

I don't know, if she doesn't answer my texts, then I would consider that a display of disinterest, so I'm with the OP here.

If she IS interested, but doesn't answer my texts, then I would consider that a display of disrespect. I'm not going to put up with a bunch of games from a woman.

I don't see what "confidence" has to do with it. I would say have the confidence to pursue someone else who actually bothers to invest in the relationship, not someone who wants me to do all the work while she does nothing.

 

[scrouds]

Don't listen to what women say, but what they do.

Quick translation: I wasn't all that in to you, I had this hot guy I was in to more. He either hit and quit it, turned creepy or ignored me. So I wanted to start things up with my next best option, you. Since I can't come out and say that, I'll text you asking why you stopped contacting me. While I won't admit it, after #1 bowed out, I had a good enough time with you to come back and try and rekindle things. I'm sure if you were persistent, I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with you.

So yeah, she's interested in you once again but you weren't top choice. If you're still keen on her, go for it. If you're not, just next.

 

[Married Buried]

So just act as if I hadn't noticed?

You tell her the truth. You tell her "you didn't text me back, I guess your fingers were broken?"

 

[Knight's Cross]

HF 79 is right, every chick that was high interest with me gave it away on date 1 by mentioning date ideas during the first date. That's chick speak for, "Please call me in the near future I want to spend more time with you".
Sounds like you weren't these girls first option. Action, Action, Action. If a woman isn't making it easy i.e. answering your texts promptly, tossing date ideas, etc. then she isn't interested.

 

[tryst type]

HF 79 is right, every chick that was high interest with me gave it away on date 1 by mentioning date ideas during the first date. That's chick speak for, "Please call me in the near future I want to spend more time with you".
Sounds like you weren't these girls first option. Action, Action, Action. If a woman isn't making it easy i.e. answering your texts promptly, tossing date ideas, etc. then she isn't interested.

In some cases these women did mention other date ideas during the first meet.

Most of these women I met online, some of which chose me to be the first person they'd meet because as they'd say "it felt ok to as oppose to the other men who messaged me"

Here's a theory, let me know what you guys think. They meet me and have a decent to pretty good time, however since they're getting a number of messages still and I'm sure they love the attention, since our first meet went well it gives them confidence to go out with these other men now.

 

[Bokanovsky]

If she IS interested, but doesn't answer my texts, then I would consider that a display of disrespect. I'm not going to put up with a bunch of games from a woman.

Could also be an attempt to set the frame in her favor right from the outset (women do that too, even if they don't call it "setting the frame"). The good news is that you don't have to play her silly little game and "pursue" her. Women like that are generally toxic and to be avoided.

 

[Bokanovsky]

In some cases these women did mention other date ideas during the first meet.

Most of these women I met online, some of which chose me to be the first person they'd meet because as they'd say "it felt ok to as oppose to the other men who messaged me"

Here's a theory, let me know what you guys think. They meet me and have a decent to pretty good time, however since they're getting a number of messages still and I'm sure they love the attention, since our first meet went well it gives them confidence to go out with these other men now.

I think that a lot of those women are lying about you being their first "online date". It seems that more than 50% of the women I meet online claim that they just joined the site a week ago (most also claim that their friends made them do it...) and haven't been on any dates yet. If this was 1998, I could believe that, but in 2013, it's rather unrealistic.

I think the real problem is that women on online dating sites get so much attention and go on so many dates that it all starts to blend together. Sure she had a good time with you but she also had a good time with 5 other dudes that week. It's classic problem of over-saturation. It's like when you're spinning plates, if the girl is not your top plate, you sometimes don't even feel like replying to her messages cause it seems like a bit of drag.

 

[tryst type]

I think that a lot of those women are lying about you being their first "online date". It seems that more than 50% of the women I meet online claim that they just joined the site a week ago (most also claim that their friends made them do it...) and haven't been on any dates yet. If this was 1998, I could believe that, but in 2013, it's rather unrealistic.

I think the real problem is that women on online dating sites get so much attention and go on so many dates that it all starts to blend together. Sure she had a good time with you but she also had a good time with 5 other dudes that week. It's classic problem of over-saturation. It's like when you're spinning plates, if the girl is not your top plate, you sometimes don't even feel like replying to her messages cause it seems like a bit of drag.

Agreed. Though I know some were new and after meeting me it gave them some confidence since I'm not creepy and try to grope them all night (at least not in a weird way)

I remember I was reluctant to meet anyone until I had a good date and that gave me courage to want to get together with others.

These days it almost seems impossible to keep a woman's attention with the easily available attention of just about any other guy through online dating/social media

 

[tryst type]

Here's a text I just got from most recent woman I met who I didn't hear from till now. We met three days ago:

"I would have liked to kept seeing you, but I could tell by the way you were with me once you meet me in person that you weren't really into me"

 

[sodbuster]

Just reply, "I don't know you well enough to be into you yet" See if it puts her on her best behavior

 

[tryst type]

I replied: We only hung out once, relax

She replies: I just don't know if I can be into someone who just doesn't seem that interested in me

I said: Think what you want

No response since