"Blank Mind on Dates? She's Dropping Hints You Keep Missing"

The plates get cleared and the silence lands like a brick. You can feel her waiting. Your brain offers up your commute, your job, the weather — topics that have ended more second dates than bad breath.

Here's what most guys never learn: women hand out free conversational material all night long. Tiny clues about what they actually want to discuss. Catch them and you never run out of things to say — because she's telling you what to say next.

Rule 4 of the "22 Rules" trains your ear to catch every single one.

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Girlfriend's Ex wants to take my GF and I out to dinner

Zontyy

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So I'm going to be traveling 6 hours to be on a mini vacation with my Baby Mama and her 2 kids. I also have a kid with her, anyways long story short her last EX who has a daughter with her wants to go out to "visit his daughter" and his plan was to take me and the family all out to dinner. To me that pretty weird he could just take his daughter spend time with her and be done with it. I don't understand why the guy wants to take us all out to dinner. He keeps fishing to her about her relationship too and always asks about it. I don't like the idea of some guy who wants to **** my girl taking me out to dinner but I don't want to appear insecure either.

What is SoSuave's thoughts on the matter.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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BackInTheGame78

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So I'm going to be traveling 6 hours to be on a mini vacation with my Baby Mama and her 2 kids. I also have a kid with her, anyways long story short her last EX who has a daughter with her wants to go out to "visit his daughter" and his plan was to take me and the family all out to dinner. To me that pretty weird he could just take his daughter spend time with her and be done with it. I don't understand why the guy wants to take us all out to dinner. He keeps fishing to her about her relationship too and always asks about it. I don't like the idea of some guy who wants to **** my girl taking me out to dinner but I don't want to appear insecure either.

What is SoSuave's thoughts on the matter.
This is a fishing expedition so he can see how you are, your interactions, he may try and throw shade at you and try and knock you down a few pegs in front of her and then he will use what he learns to try and come up with a strategy to use to get her to dump you and go back with him...

Basically he is hoping to get free ammo to use against you with her.
 

Zontyy

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This is a fishing expedition so he can see how you are, your interactions, he may try and throw shade at you and try and knock you down a few pegs in front of her and then he will use what he learns to try and come up with a strategy to use to get her to dump you and go back with him...

Basically he is hoping to get free ammo to use against you with her.
That is my guess to but what is the best way to answer this, if I say no I clearly look insecure to her. I just don't want to lose any face, I feel like will have to go through with it and just pay him no mind at all.
 

BackInTheGame78

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That is my guess to but what is the best way to answer this, if I say no I clearly look insecure to her. I just don't want to lose any face, I feel like will have to go through with it and just pay him no mind at all.
I'd just say I am not interested in doing that and leave it alone. What does your GF have to say about it?
 

Zontyy

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I'd just say I am not interested in doing that and leave it alone. What does your GF have to say about it?
She is a control freak and doesn't want to leave her daughter alone especially with someone in a foreign place.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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jimwho

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if I say no I clearly look insecure to her.
Don't let her suck you into something so stupid. That's like meeting the parents X-10. Tell her you'd rather roll around in poison ivy. If she asks for a explanation tell her you figure it out. Then 100% be done with it..
 

Zontyy

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Don't let her suck you into something so stupid. That's like meeting the parents X-10. Tell her you'd rather roll around in poison ivy. If she asks for a explanation tell her you figure it out. Then 100% be done with it..
I just countered with it's fine, she wants to tag along with me to a trip I had planned in morocco. Told her we can do dinner or some activity with my EX in morocco. She just left me on read xD
 

In2theGame

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This sounds like a mess dude...
 

mrgoodstuff

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He probably doesn't want to be back with the ex. She probably has him pegged as a "friend" and as a friend and not trying to step on her mans toes he offered to take all of you out to dinner when he's in town. For couples that have opposite sex friends, this is a normal way of seeing a friend without breaking trust.
 

Zontyy

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He probably doesn't want to be back with the ex. She probably has him pegged as a "friend" and as a friend and not trying to step on her mans toes he offered to take all of you out to dinner when he's in town. For couples that have opposite sex friends, this is a normal way of seeing a friend without breaking trust.
Doubtful, this same guy when she wouldn't sleep with him offered try to suggest a threesome and that he wanted to watch me bang her. I think he thought it would lead to him having sex with her or something. She told him to **** off in text and only contact her about their daughter but then boom here we are again. He doesn't really want to spend time with his daughter just wants to have sex. That is why put out there to spend time with my EX in morocco to make her see how silly she sounds.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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amoka

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Tell her you'll only go if he's paying for everyone and order the most expensive item on the menu. Make sure you are able to cover you and you wife's bills first.
 

Zontyy

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Tell her you'll only go if he's paying for everyone and order the most expensive item on the menu. Make sure you are able to cover you and you wife's bills first.
He already suggested that he would pay for everyone. I intended on doing this haha.
 

Baibars

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Wait. You have a kid with your girlfriend and the Ex of her who also has a kid with your girlfriend invited you to dinner?
 

Medina

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One power grab would be to pay for the entire tab yourself

It might give you SOME sense of control but of course this whole situation is far from ideal
 

bat soup

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So I'm going to be traveling 6 hours to be on a mini vacation with my Baby Mama and her 2 kids. I also have a kid with her, anyways long story short her last EX who has a daughter with her wants to go out to "visit his daughter" and his plan was to take me and the family all out to dinner. To me that pretty weird he could just take his daughter spend time with her and be done with it. I don't understand why the guy wants to take us all out to dinner. He keeps fishing to her about her relationship too and always asks about it. I don't like the idea of some guy who wants to **** my girl taking me out to dinner but I don't want to appear insecure either.

What is SoSuave's thoughts on the matter.
If you meet him, remember to give him a "high 5"
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Lookatu

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Just because you two share the same baby mama is no reason to congregate with each other IMO.

Ask her and yourself what is to be achieved by doing this and what are the risks?

Have you met this guy before?
 

mrgoodstuff

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Doubtful, this same guy when she wouldn't sleep with him offered try to suggest a threesome and that he wanted to watch me bang her. I think he thought it would lead to him having sex with her or something. She told him to **** off in text and only contact her about their daughter but then boom here we are again. He doesn't really want to spend time with his daughter just wants to have sex. That is why put out there to spend time with my EX in morocco to make her see how silly she sounds.
That's some wierd sh1t. I have a few real female friends and my ex wife had one or two true male friends. When our family was young, he'd visit us as a family every few years. He lived out of the country, they went to college together, and I met then. Wasn't a big deal, because they didn't talk, and if he was in our town, he visited us both as a unit.

With what they are trying to pull on men these days, male friends that communicate ALL the time, trying to do things in secret or alone, that's not good and any decent woman wouldn't even try it, she knows it's not good.
 

Billtx49

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He already suggested that he would pay for everyone. I intended on doing this haha.
He’s making AMOG or provider moves for her to compare you two in person…
He would likely brag about how good his life is. Stay away from the drama this scenario might well create…
If this invite didn’t come to you directly from him, it’s an instant No.
 

Romanemp22

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No you will not look insecure. That's not normal for you to do some fvckin field trips with her ex. It's like your ex wants to hang out with you randomly.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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