The Diver
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2017
- Messages
- 572
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- 608
I like this ^. A simple statement, but so straightforward and profound one.I don't Chase. I replace.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I like this ^. A simple statement, but so straightforward and profound one.I don't Chase. I replace.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Lawyers are pros at power in conversation and situations. They advise their friends well in the cheated on situation or where your being taken advantage of.Why? She's already cheating on him. Any good lawyer knows you never allow a hostile witness a loophole to rehabilitate themselves.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
In every relationship, there is a power dynamic at play. You have become here a toy-thing and naturally, given a woman's instinctive desire to submit to a male, are losing attraction.Every time I withdraw she seems to come back but it just happens again I think because I go right back to my old ways, answering super quick while she takes hours at work.
When I don’t do that she’s hitting me up and accepts a date where we usually have sex.
The thing is how can I communicate that this **** can’t go on if I do want to keep her
In every relationship, there is a power dynamic at play. You have become here a toy-thing and naturally, given a woman's instinctive desire to submit to a male, are losing attraction.
Despite the political ideology that prevails today, there is a natural dynamic between the sexes that needs to be observed - you must lead.
Sounds like you want an LTR. You first have to ask whether she is LTR material.How can I regain this balance
Its an old line from pickup from a real playboy.I like this ^. A simple statement, but so straightforward and profound one.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
A real stable LTR doesn't "challenge" you. Cause that's a waste of time.Sounds like you want an LTR. You first have to ask whether she is LTR material.
Nowhere than in relationships is the saying 'easy come, easy go' more true. That's why I look for 'challenging'.
No, she just is giving birth to a Muslim baby.Is it really certain she is cheating?
Exactly. But establishing the LTR is the challenge. Once in the LTR, it should be plain sailing.... which is the whole point of an LTR on your terms..A real stable LTR doesn't "challenge" you. Cause that's a waste of time.
Yeah your right a little jostling as she tests your lead and personal integrity. But after it's in place it theoretically should be easier for both of you.Exactly. But establishing the LTR is the challenge. Once in the LTR, it should be plain sailing.... which is the whole point of an LTR on your terms..
If that is the case, you need to look for the exception to the norm. This both adds to the challenge and makes it easier - more challenging in finding the right kind of women to begin with, and less challenging as in less expenditure of wasted energy with the wrong kind of women.Yeah your right a little jostling as she tests your lead and personal integrity. But after it's in place it theoretically should be easier for both of you.
But I reality in American culture. The women feel they are entitled to dominance, even in the physical space and control. Plus entitled to get her way and "win" every situation with you.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Well yes we'd find that in dating because she likely won't be able to help herself. She will try to power grab and man up on you. No way she could keep that act up for over 6 months. She might make 90 days though.If that is the case, you need to look for the exception to the norm. This both adds to the challenge and makes it easier - more challenging in finding the right kind of women to begin with, and less challenging as in less expenditure of wasted energy with the wrong kind of women.
was that confirmed in the thread? I didn't read the whole thing.Why? She's already cheating on him. Any good lawyer knows you never allow a hostile witness a loophole to rehabilitate themselves.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.