Girlfriend takes forever to respond or ignores.

[Jay25]

Girlfriend of 9 months.

Recently the past month or so, maybe longer she seems to take awhile to answer texts, I understand at work or something but she’s home quite a lot.

She uses the excuse I fell asleep a lot or says nothing, I’ve been trying to mirror her and she comes back usually but then the same **** happens, I feel like calling her out on it but I don’t know.

Last east example is I was texting her during the day, she was at work, sexual stuff, she said she loved me so much,that we have true love.

Then all of a sudden she drops out of the conversation and doesn’t respond the rest of the night from 5pm and as of his morning hasn’t said a word, I don’t want to dump her but this kind of disrespect I don’t want to put up with. I have been texting her a lot more and more quickly I feel this has made me needy.


How can I fix this?

 

[sph21]

Recently the past month or so, maybe longer she seems to take awhile to answer texts, I understand at work or something but she’s home quite a lot.

She uses the excuse I fell asleep a lot or says nothing, I’ve been trying to mirror her and she comes back usually but then the same **** happens, I feel like calling her out on it but I don’t know.

She has a very low interest in your relationships. When a girl wants to make a distance with you without too obviously telling you of what she really wants, then this type of behavior is her default way of showing it. She hopes that you will understand it instinctively.

Last east example is I was texting her during the day, she was at work, sexual stuff, she said she loved me so much,that we have true love.

Then all of a sudden she drops out of the conversation and doesn’t respond the rest of the night from 5pm and as of his morning hasn’t said a word, I don’t want to dump her but this kind of disrespect I don’t want to put up with. I have been texting her a lot more and more quickly I feel this has made me needy.

“Judge by actions, not by words.”

Her actions just told you about her true feelings toward you. A girl who's crazily in love with you will not leave you alone. She will always want a piece of you. And that kind of behavior is not found in her.

I agree that you should not accept this kind of disrespect. This relationship is over. Texting a lot more will only make you weaker.

How can I fix

You can't and you shouldn't fix it.

 

[Jay25]

So should I just dump her, it’s not like it’s non stop there have been days at a time where things are fine, this did happen after a minor fight this last incident, I had made a joke about saying the love word and I didn’t think we should say it, she said she thought I was serious because I hadn’t been saying it lately.

We talked after that with no problems so I don’t get it, I don’t think she is talking to other guys but who knows, she hasn’t been in a relationship in 2 years before me and is more introverted.

How should I proceed

 

[Soflobro#3]

She has a very low interest in your relationships. When a girl wants to make a distance with you without too obviously telling you of what she really wants, then this type of behavior is her default way of showing it. She hopes that you will understand it instinctively.




“Judge by actions, not by words.”

Her actions just told you about her true feelings toward you. A girl who's crazily in love with you will not leave you alone. She will always want a piece of you. And that kind of behavior is not found in her.

I agree that you should not accept this kind of disrespect. This relationship is over. Texting a lot more will only make you weaker.


You can't and you shouldn't fix it.

You fix it by not trying to fix it. Withdrawal attention from her. Cut her off.

Then she will come around or she will be grateful you cut her off. Its just how it goes friend.

 

[Soflobro#3]

So should I just dump her, it’s not like it’s non stop there have been days at a time where things are fine, this did happen after a minor fight this last incident, I had made a joke about saying the love word and I didn’t think we should say it, she said she thought I was serious because I hadn’t been saying it lately.

We talked after that with no problems so I don’t get it, I don’t think she is talking to other guys but who knows, she hasn’t been in a relationship in 2 years before me and is more introverted.

How should I proceed

Either dump her or stop making effort to get closer. Shes pushing and pulling you, we don't know why but it doesn't matter why. What matters is you back way the fvck off and hit up other chicks or something.

 

[Jay25]

Every time I withdraw she seems to come back but it just happens again I think because I go right back to my old ways, answering super quick while she takes hours at work.

When I don’t do that she’s hitting me up and accepts a date where we usually have sex.

The thing is how can I communicate that this **** can’t go on if I do want to keep her

 

[Soflobro#3]

Every time I withdraw she seems to come back but it just happens again I think because I go right back to my old ways, answering super quick while she takes hours at work.

When I don’t do that she’s hitting me up and accepts a date where we usually have sex.

The thing is how can I communicate that this **** can’t go on if I do want to keep her

Dont try to talk about sh1t with her. It wont help. You withdraw and when she comes running you don't fall for that sh1t man. You need to be patient and maybe start talking to other chick's.

 

[Jay25]

Ok I’ll try to be patient, not give her what she wants and go back right into old patterns, maybe not ask her out for awhile, I really got along well with this girl and still do other than this push and pull stuff.

When you say don’t fall for it what do you mean?

 

[Soflobro#3]

Ok I’ll try to be patient, not give her what she wants and go back right into old patterns, maybe not ask her out for awhile, I really got along well with this girl and still do other than this push and pull stuff.

When you say don’t fall for it what do you mean?

Don't fall for her push and pull tactics. Just be cool and focus on yourself. Be laid back. Be indifferent. Discipline.

 

[Soflobro#3]

Sometimes it's better to do nothing.

 

[Jay25]

I’m thinking she wants me to say something like hey where are you, why didn’t you answer, idk if she needs that or whatever

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I’m thinking she wants me to say something like hey where are you, why didn’t you answer, idk if she needs that or whatever

Just do nothing. Let her process her thoughts and emotions.

 

[Jay25]

Just do nothing. Let her process her thoughts and emotions.

Ok thanks, just wondering why this happened literally hours before us talking so lovingly, no problems. I don’t want this cycle to continue

 

[Soflobro#3]

Ok thanks, just wondering why this happened literally hours before us talking so lovingly, no problems. I don’t want this cycle to continue

Because women are out their crack smoking minds without having to even try smoking crack.

 

[jacketrunner]

Girlfriend of 9 months.

Recently the past month or so, maybe longer she seems to take awhile to answer texts, I understand at work or something but she’s home quite a lot.

She uses the excuse I fell asleep a lot or says nothing, I’ve been trying to mirror her and she comes back usually but then the same **** happens, I feel like calling her out on it but I don’t know.

Last east example is I was texting her during the day, she was at work, sexual stuff, she said she loved me so much,that we have true love.

Then all of a sudden she drops out of the conversation and doesn’t respond the rest of the night from 5pm and as of his morning hasn’t said a word, I don’t want to dump her but this kind of disrespect I don’t want to put up with. I have been texting her a lot more and more quickly I feel this has made me needy.


How can I fix this?

Ive been dealing with a similar problem and am watching this guy:

Basically, I think the key is to make her do all the calling, texting, pursuing at this point. Focus on yourself or even developing options with other girls.

It sucks, but there’s no way you can get a girl interested by pursuing her more. As a guy, you hate being passive so I recommend channeling that energy on things that make you more attractive (gym, work, clothes, other girls, etc.)

At the end of the day, you want to be the exact opposite of an orbiter (a guy who pursues her attention, who she leads on so he feeds her ego and does things for her when she’s making no effort):

Really make her work for it (become your orbiter) or just dump her if it’s too much to handle. Chasing her attention will just feed her ego and make her less attracted to you.

I know this is easier said than done... I’m dealing with the same exact problem and I know how hard it ****ing is. Especially bc hooking up with other girls is a form of cheating.

Just remember that being a rude jerk (in a funny way) and indifferent will make you more attractive than acting like an orbiter who views her attention as valuable bc it’s scarce. You’re the prize, not her.

She has to work for you or she’s not worth your time.

Be the opposite of an orbiter. Recognize her silly games and need for attention and treat yourself as more important than her. Try to be Clark Gable:
https://youtu.be/lrhNPS4nbmQ

 

[Soflobro#3]

Ive been dealing with a similar problem and am watching this guy:

Basically, I think the key is to make her do all the calling, texting, pursuing at this point. Focus on yourself or even developing options with other girls.

It sucks, but there’s no way you can get a girl interested by pursuing her more. As a guy, you hate being passive so I recommend channeling that energy on things that make you more attractive (gym, work, clothes, other girls, etc.)

At the end of the day, you want to be the exact opposite of an orbiter (a guy who pursues her attention, who she leads on so he feeds her ego and does things for her when she’s making no effort):

Really make her work for it (become your orbiter) or just dump her if it’s too much to handle. Chasing her attention will just feed her ego and make her less attracted to you.

I know this is easier said than done... I’m dealing with the same exact problem and I know how hard it ****ing is. Especially bc hooking up with other girls is a form of cheating.

Just remember that being a rude jerk (in a funny way) and indifferent will make you more attractive than acting like an orbiter who views her attention as valuable bc it’s scarce. You’re the prize, not her.

She has to work for you or she’s not worth your time.

Be the opposite of an orbiter. Recognize her silly games and need for attention and treat yourself as more important than her. Try to be Clark Gable:
https://youtu.be/lrhNPS4nbmQ

You're not wrong. But there is many women in this world and women are either fuel or baggage. You're man enough to find a new one. Sure maybe you'll have to deal with some hurt, but so what.

Believe it or not sometime is better to find a new one and try again. Or just smash randoms. It's up to you. Pick yourself up and plow forward.

 

[Jay25]

Ive been dealing with a similar problem and am watching this guy:

Basically, I think the key is to make her do all the calling, texting, pursuing at this point. Focus on yourself or even developing options with other girls.

It sucks, but there’s no way you can get a girl interested by pursuing her more. As a guy, you hate being passive so I recommend channeling that energy on things that make you more attractive (gym, work, clothes, other girls, etc.)

At the end of the day, you want to be the exact opposite of an orbiter (a guy who pursues her attention, who she leads on so he feeds her ego and does things for her when she’s making no effort):

Really make her work for it (become your orbiter) or just dump her if it’s too much to handle. Chasing her attention will just feed her ego and make her less attracted to you.

I know this is easier said than done... I’m dealing with the same exact problem and I know how hard it ****ing is. Especially bc hooking up with other girls is a form of cheating.

Just remember that being a rude jerk (in a funny way) and indifferent will make you more attractive than acting like an orbiter who views her attention as valuable bc it’s scarce. You’re the prize, not her.

She has to work for you or she’s not worth your time.

Be the opposite of an orbiter. Recognize her silly games and need for attention and treat yourself as more important than her. Try to be Clark Gable:
https://youtu.be/lrhNPS4nbmQ

What’s been going on with your situation if you don’t mind me asking

 

[The Diver]

So should I just dump her

LOL, This is a funny injured ego talk. Her action says she's already dumped you.

 

[resilient]

Great post above by @jacketrunner.

It comes down to your self-respect and time. Be busy, withdraw attention (your currency).

Don't chase and let her initiate texting more.

Women exclusive or not should be lower on a man's priority list, not at the top. In the meantime, go after your goals:

-What are you stagnant with in life right now?
-Are you in top physical shape?
-Could you be better?
-How's the career/education going?
-How are your hobbies?
-How is/are your social sphere(s)?

Your girlfriend isn't worried about losing you, hence the long delay in response times. Push/pull is always an indicator of low-interest. At nine months, she's skating in the comfort zone. She needs to value what she has in you or risk losing you.

Lastly, work on being needy less, reach out less and be busy chasing your life's pursuits and mountains you still have yet to conquer. The last thing you want to do is have so much free time that you're sitting around waiting for her text/call back. You want to be so busy with life that she's almost an afterthought.

 

[Gan]

Girlfriend of 9 months.

Recently the past month or so, maybe longer she seems to take awhile to answer texts, I understand at work or something but she’s home quite a lot.

She uses the excuse I fell asleep a lot or says nothing, I’ve been trying to mirror her and she comes back usually but then the same **** happens, I feel like calling her out on it but I don’t know.

Last east example is I was texting her during the day, she was at work, sexual stuff, she said she loved me so much,that we have true love.

Then all of a sudden she drops out of the conversation and doesn’t respond the rest of the night from 5pm and as of his morning hasn’t said a word, I don’t want to dump her but this kind of disrespect I don’t want to put up with. I have been texting her a lot more and more quickly I feel this has made me needy.


How can I fix this?

You care more than her. That's the problem.