Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She may even be secretly hoping for this ultimatum so she can sleep with this guy without any guilt attached. I know there are different schools of thought about this sort of thing, but to me her even bringing it up is a huge red flag that would disqualify her with me. I wouldn't put up with it.either way tell her she can do whatever she wants but if she does youre done with her. No guy in their right mind would allow this to happen to matter what.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Sorry to tell you, but you my friend, handled it like a pro beta male.guitaronfire411 said:My girlfriend is moving out at the end of this month because she found a better place and her room-mate is driving her crazy. Case in point: The room-mate lives in the adjacent room with her mother and acts as if she's the landlord, saying that my gf stays up too late (beyond 10PM) and plays movies/music after that time.
To make a story short, she needed to find somewhere to stay before the 15th of December and was going to stay with a female friend. Turns out the only person that could have her for a weekish is a guy friend who wants to meet me, and who she claims has a girlfriend.
She has said that I cannot stay over in the period that she is at this guy-friend's place. I told her straight up that I strongly dislike this idea of staying with a guy friend. My father says this is bad news, so does a friend who I consulted about this situation.
Any ideas? My father suggested that she stays with my grandmother instead but he doesn't like that idea too much.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Konada said:Great advice guys. However I don't think the dude has been waiting on for answers for 2 years.
Women have brainwashed guys into thinking they must allow them to have their "male friends", or else they are jealous, possessive, and insecure. Just the right buttons to push, because what man wants to be those things?Atom Smasher said:When I first started reading this thread I was utterly flabbergasted by the naivete of some of the posters, the ones who said "You're making a big deal out of nothing" and "What's the problem?".
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.