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Girlfriend of year and a half wants to take the next step.

Dr.Rocanlover

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So we´ve been in the relationship for more than a year and a half. Last Friday night she said she wanted to take the next step.

I told her:

"You know, recently I´ve thinking about three different things: Marriage, moving in together, and having a baby. The truth is, I don´t want any of those three right now. Maybe when I´m 38-39 years old, (I´m 31) maybe I will want one or two of those three.

If you want, we can stop this relationship and start seeing other people. I´m trying to think about what´s best for you. I don´t want the years to go by and you resenting me for wasting your time or something like that."

I thought she was gonna break uo with me on the spot. She said she loved me and didn´t want to break up or see other people. The following Tuesday she sent a fancy expensive breakfast delivered to my house with a lot of romantic stuff written on the box.

She might be a keeper?
 

marmel75

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See John Cena and Nikki Bella...you will end up in that same situation eventually no matter how well you think you played it right now.
 

billtx49

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Well, sounds like she will probably step up her attention level and game in an effort to get you to commit…
Expect some hotter than usual sex with possible increased frequency coming your way if she takes that route.
 
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Fzatf

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It's only natural for girls to want to escalate the relationship. It does sound like she values you and the relationship. As long as she doesn't push you to do something you're not ready for I'd keep it going. Are there laws in place that put your property at risk if you cohabitate or do you just prefer the freedom of being on your own?
 
A

AJ84

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So we´ve been in the relationship for more than a year and a half. Last Friday night she said she wanted to take the next step.

I told her:

"You know, recently I´ve thinking about three different things: Marriage, moving in together, and having a baby. The truth is, I don´t want any of those three right now. Maybe when I´m 38-39 years old, (I´m 31) maybe I will want one or two of those three.

If you want, we can stop this relationship and start seeing other people. I´m trying to think about what´s best for you. I don´t want the years to go by and you resenting me for wasting your time or something like that."

I thought she was gonna break uo with me on the spot. She said she loved me and didn´t want to break up or see other people. The following Tuesday she sent a fancy expensive breakfast delivered to my house with a lot of romantic stuff written on the box.

She might be a keeper?
Female perspective: if she wants marriage and kids she won't wait around. She biologically can't.

If she becomes sweeter, more agreeable, and the sex becomes more frequent, that's not because she loves you more sorry to say. It's most likely because she's buttering you up to try to change your mind.

Women are the masters of changing a guy's mind and making it look like the guy made the decision to change. We invented that game so I'm not trying to scare you but you put it out there that you don't want those things anytime soon and if she really wants marriage and kids in the next 8 years and you don't, she will find a way to get what she wants with or without you so take what she said with a grain of salt and be mindful.
 

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lizardking82

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She is right on time with her schedule, whatever that is. You are not.

If you don't wanna take the next step, don't. But be willing to take the loss and see her leave in that case. She can't force you to make the next step, but you can't force her to stay in sth that doesn't fulfill her needs or perceived needs somehow.
 

Red Legg

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So we´ve been in the relationship for more than a year and a half. Last Friday night she said she wanted to take the next step.

I told her:

"You know, recently I´ve thinking about three different things: Marriage, moving in together, and having a baby. The truth is, I don´t want any of those three right now. Maybe when I´m 38-39 years old, (I´m 31) maybe I will want one or two of those three.

If you want, we can stop this relationship and start seeing other people. I´m trying to think about what´s best for you. I don´t want the years to go by and you resenting me for wasting your time or something like that."

I thought she was gonna break uo with me on the spot. She said she loved me and didn´t want to break up or see other people. The following Tuesday she sent a fancy expensive breakfast delivered to my house with a lot of romantic stuff written on the box.

She might be a keeper?
Congratulations ....this is the kind of woman who won't care if you fvck other women or not she will branch swing on your ass though keep your frame tight it's time to play some serious push/pull and mind games...ohh happy days.....
 

Dr.Rocanlover

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She is right on time with her schedule, whatever that is. You are not.

If you don't wanna take the next step, don't. But be willing to take the loss and see her leave in that case. She can't force you to make the next step, but you can't force her to stay in sth that doesn't fulfill her needs or perceived needs somehow.
I´m not forcing her to stay in the relationship, I even offered to see other people, think about what´s best for her, etc. She had the perfect chance to exit the relationship but unless she´s an expert at faking tears I think she has oneitis for me.
 

Roober

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The real question is whether or not you want these 3 things with this woman. If not, you are wasting everyone's time.

And why do you want to wait so long? Having young children in your 40s and 50s is far less desirable than your 30s. Dont forget our bodies die every single day, and the amount of energy you will have to play with your kids will be dramatically different at 40 than 50. While women's attractiveness may hit the wall around 30s, mens physical and sexual performances peaks in their early 40s.

Oh and @AJ84 advice is gold
 

Dr.Rocanlover

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It's only natural for girls to want to escalate the relationship. It does sound like she values you and the relationship. As long as she doesn't push you to do something you're not ready for I'd keep it going. Are there laws in place that put your property at risk if you cohabitate or do you just prefer the freedom of being on your own?
I think if we cohabitate and I don´t marry her within 5 years of moving in, she can sue me. At the moment I don´t need to live with her, I have the rest of my life to do that.
 

Dr.Rocanlover

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Well, sounds like she will probably step up her attention level and game in an effort to get you to commit…
Expect some hotter than usual sex with possible increased frequency coming your way if she takes that route.
Yes, this started happening a few days before she said the stuff about the next step. It hasn´t stop.
 

Desdinova

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She´s 29, so I guess about to hit The Wall
She hit the wall at 27. You have been chosen as the one to soften the sound of the biological clock. If you dont do it, she will choose someone else.

This is why you should aim for women under the age of 23. They are lower mileage, their biological clocks haven't registered, and you have more time to evaluate them. I've been with my gf for over 2 years and I still have at least 2 more years before I have to make this decision.

My advice would be to cut her loose and let her find a new sperm donor
 

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Red Legg

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She hit the wall at 27. You have been chosen as the one to soften the sound of the biological clock. If you dont do it, she will choose someone else.
Yep that magical 27 years old number lol ...do you ever spin older plates just to fvck ?? or do you always aim below 27 ? and if yes what will you do when you get to your late 40's or 50's ?
 

Desdinova

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Yep that magical 27 years old number lol ...do you ever spin older plates just to fvck ?? or do you always aim below 27 ? and if yes what will you do when you get to your late 40's or 50's ?
Yes I've fvcked older women. After age 23, they're all damaged. If you'd like to enlighten me as to what the benefits are of dating older, damaged women, I'd love to hear it.

With regards to dating women when I'm older, I'm hoping that won't be an issue. I'm in a LTR with a woman who had me as her second lover (her first was an AFC she eventually dumped) and from what I've seen over the past 4 years I've known her, shes not going anywhere.

If by some chance I end up single in my 40s and 50s, I shall indulge in a strict fvck and toss policy. There are too many lousy women in the world who aren't worth my time, effort, and resources.
 

stovepipe

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See John Cena and Nikki Bella...you will end up in that same situation eventually no matter how well you think you played it right now.
Their breakup was fake news
 
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