"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Girlfriend lacks communication skills

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killerasp

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So i have been dating my girlfriend for about 5 months now. I have known her for over a year now. Three of those months we have been bf/gf. This is her first REAL relationship.

In the early stages things were good. But i noticed that she had trouble opening up emotionally to me. During social outings with friends, i noticed that she isnt the social butterfly i thought she was. She isnt the type to initiate conversations with myself or other people. But she can blab on if someone else initiates At first i thought it was a trust issue, but months later i realize its just her. She might be shy in new social situations but she is just the opposite with her close friends.

Back to the main issue i am having, because of this conversations with her are one sided: initiated by me. I am asking all the open ended questions hoping to have her talk more about her feelings on a particular topic but its usually left dead short. what bothers me is that even though she cares about me, its seems hard for her to express her feelings or opinion on important things.

i am pretty sure the problem is that she doesnt know how to open up to talk. it sounds a problem an AFC would have early on in the learning process. she might be scared to do so...or maybe just doesnt know how.

what can i do to reinforce her confidence or show her how to open up?

thanks ahead of time.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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nvictor

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Sorry, 5 months you said? And you didn't notice anything? Is the girl playing with you or what?

Anyway, you're the man. Introduce her. If she can't talk, talk in her place. Or initiate the conversation for her. For example "Baby, what if you tell us how you did...?"
 
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killerasp

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I-am-someone: no i havent talked to her directly about the issue at hand. trying to find a way to go about saying, "why dont you open up to me more? dont you turst me?" without saying those exact words. I could try a variation on it, but i dont want make her feel uncomfortable when i do bring it up.

nvictor: i like that idea. thanks.

spider_007: sometimes i really think so.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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d9930380

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Some people just aren't the talkative type. She probably can't think of anything to say that she thinks you would find interesting. Given it's her first relationship, she's probably unsure what guys and girls talk about when in a relationship. It's not about opening up or being afraid to disagree as once the conversation starts or she knows what interests the other person (her friends) then she's fine.

I'm afraid you will probably have to do most of the work with this one.
 
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killerasp

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n00bPimp said:
Why would you want your gf to talk more? ....I dont understand
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umm...why not? if its this was just some random girl, i wouldnt give a crap about what she said and does. but with someone you care, there needs to a communication between the people in order for the relationship to work.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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