Girlfriend is friends with another guy. Shlts me.

[iambrian81]

This forum in all honesty have some of the biggest ****ing chump i've ever seen in my life.

The sad part is, lordson is NOT the only guy making post like this.

Trust me, coming from my experience with female, i KNOW for a fact of a girl did this to her bf.

You know what she does on friday night without her bf? That's right, making out with other guys.

You're a sorry excuse of a man and a pathetic person. You need some tough love son and had i known you in real life, i would seriously physically beat some sense into you.

Pathetic

 

[SharinganUser]

anyway, my plan is to go out on that night, with maybe a female friend, and when she asks what i did, i'll tell her 'why do you care what i did, you're the one that left me alone that night so whatever i did was up to me'. although i don't really want to play those games.

Whatever you do, don't say anything like that. It sounds whiny and it makes you sound like a 13 year old girl with abandonment issues. Just tell her you went out with a female friend, or you "went out with (name of a hot woman that she knows) for some drinks." Then leave it at that.

BTW, you are in a relationship and you only have sex ONCE A WEEK?!?!? That might be enough for you, but the average couple has sex atleast 3 times a week.

 

[Nutz]

we're both mid 20's

she's not going to a party with this guy, its a birthday party with one of the friends she met thorugh him. i mean freaking ridiculous. she calls him her 'friend' but its a bloody friend of a friend

its only been for the last 6 months, and the last 3 months i've been home for holidays, and we've seen each other every hour every day pretty much. thats why she felt the need to say ''can't see each other all the time''

i call her everyday and we tell each other about her day, when i'm away. I do trust her, i just don't like the situation

I just don't understand this. Why is she going to the friend of a friend's party with the friend and NOT you. If there was ever a time you're supposed to go out with your gf this is it. You don't ask for permission, you just go. If she doesn't understand that then she's either a moron or is hiding something. It's that frakking simple.

 

[Nutz]

our relationship is completely fine. sex once a week, like usual. well established loving relationship, i just don't understand this behaviour. It is innocent behaviour, friends are friends on her part, but she obviously doesn't seem to know what is appropriate or not. shes been going out with another workmate alot these days, but a girl. sees her like 2 times a week for lunch, and i'm fine with that, its just what you guys have been saying, once she prioritises going out with them over me, then that really ticks me off.

Anyone else see the contradiction there?

lordson, you have to realize your relationship is NOT completely fine. Why do you think you're on here posting about this?! If things were completely fine you wouldn't be having these kinds of problems, and the answer to why that is so is your very posts, particularly the one quoted here. She sees her behavior as being innocent, but you just said she doesn't know when she's crossing the line. YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN and show her what's appropriate and what's not. This party is your chance to do just that. If you do not lay down the law this woman will cheat, cause drama & distrust, and generally make your life and relationship a living hell. Respect yourself, put down your foot, and your gf will respect you more because of it over the long haul.

 

[Nutz]

Lets put it this way, its obvious to any person of any age, male or female, that if she is leaving you home on a friday night to go out with her "guy friend" that is seems really suspicious.

In my opinion, any faithful woman would realize how bad that looks and would realize how you could get suspicious, so she would either never put you in that situation to begin with, or if you brought it up she would immediately stop doing it.

Think about it, if the roles were reversed, you would realize how suspicious that would look and if she ever brought it up, you would recognize how founded the suspicion was.

If your suspicious of something, more often then not you suspicions are proven true in my opinion.

A) No woman I know would let it go that far.
B) Studies have shown that when one person has suspicions the large majority of them were justified to question their partner's fidelity. People give off cues whether they know it or not and we all pick up on them subconsciously. This is called instincts and there's a reason we developed them. Listen to what they're telling you, even if you don't like the message. There's a reason you're feeling this way.

 

[iambrian81]

We should just give up on this fool. Lordson is a coward and not a man. No amount of advice will help him.

 

[Prodigy746]

Sometimes its the females ultimate goal. I was friends with a girl for 3 yrs...I didn't know until recently that she was just waiting for me to fvck her. We finally did. You never know what's going on with the females unless you ask. Have you asked her straight out: "Why are you hanging around with this guy?" She will probably tell you, then you will have your answer and you won't have to ask a bunch of guys on a website.

Do you really expect her to say "i want to fluck him" ??

Honestly if your girl is as good as you say its still a problem. Think about it, if you were a guy haging out with a hot girl ( i assume your girl is attractive) you would try to get with her. Now she might not want to do it but she might end up doing something stupid if she was to get drunk or something. Also if she doesnt let you hang out with the guy and his friends sometime than there is something wrong there. I understand space but she should let you hang out with him and the friends once a month or something so that they all know she has a bf.

i wouldnt let my girl do that especially the one i plan on marrying. If i didnt care about my girl than i would let her hangout w other guys.

 

[slaog]

Lordson, there's another issue here too - how attracted is she towards you.


It sounds like she is not too concerned about your needs. You have her on a pedestal and she knows you are not capable of walking away from her if she misbehaves.


You need to put your foot down. Be a man. Show the little girl who the boss is. Gain some respect back. She might not be cheating but it's obvious things could be better. Good luck with it.

 

[lordson]

she's not 'going' with her friend, they're all 'friends'. her attraction to me is fine, strong as it was 3 years ago, trust me. i don't know whats up with the sex only once a week, but i'm still figuring that one out. been like that for 2 years-ish. i'll let this one go, but i'm going to kick up a fuss next time, if there is a next time. keep you guys posted. probably won't happen for at least 6 months, because i'm going 110km (65 miles) away again for another 6 months and on the weekends she's going to be spending it with me.

 

[DonJuan11]

Hey fellas, been having an issue lately. my girlfriend (3.5 years), pretty much future wife (mutual feeling) is hanging out with a workmate of hers alot. She sees him roughly once a week for about half a day, dinner, movie, dessert etc. Just a friend and I dont doubt it, been going on for about a year, but its giving me the shlts lately. She would schedule to go out with him and leave me alone on a Friday night sometimes, and she goes and meets his friends and goes to birthday parties with them and makes new friends. But she never wants to go out and hang with my friends with me.

She's doing this because after 3.5 years you haven't proposed to her. She knows you are emotionally involved in her but won't marry her, so she's using this fact to the best of her ability. ("Lordson won't marry me, but he won't leave me either after he's invested 3.5 years worth of money and time into me and our relationship. So what I'm going to do now is get my ego stroked by this new and exciting guy, so Lordson may get jealous and angry, then it will give me an excuse to break up with him and say to him 'You are too controlling, we've grown apart, I don't think we should each other anymore' and not be the bad guy.)

Now i've been saying nothing but more and more its getting me frustrated. Theres 0% chance she'll cheat, but it gets me angry that she rather spend time with another guy than me.

Think about what you just said and read that sentence again. Analogy "There is 0% chance she'll have a Big Mac, but she keeps on going to McDonald's".

And one of my fears is that she might see something in this guy that she likes instead of me too. But thats unlikely, because i am charming and funny and good looking, and he's and ugly bugger. It doesn't seem that she is bored with me, I dunno.

It doesn't matter if you are charming, good looking, 100% funny and as rich as Brad Pitt, if this ugly bugger can make her feel things you don't, game over dude.

Anyway, i've already brought up the issue, in an annoyed tone again a few weeks ago, and she just explained that we can't always spend every waking second together and she needs time to herself. thats fair enough, i'd like time to myself to, to play games. But that should not include going out with another guy.

I know hardly anybody reads post this long but, thanks for reading. Gist is: Can men and women be friends? Hell f'ing NO.

Don't know what your question is but ok.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

she's not 'going' with her friend, they're all 'friends'. her attraction to me is fine, strong as it was 3 years ago, trust me. i don't know whats up with the sex only once a week, but i'm still figuring that one out. been like that for 2 years-ish. i'll let this one go, but i'm going to kick up a fuss next time, if there is a next time. keep you guys posted. probably won't happen for at least 6 months, because i'm going 110km (65 miles) away again for another 6 months and on the weekends she's going to be spending it with me.

Whoa whoa whoa hold on a min...

You only have sex once a week? And that is when you are home??? Unless, I'm mis-understanding.

If you are gone at work for 6 months and to only see her on the weekend. You guys should be having sex like crazy when you see her on the weekend or when you come back for however long. Especially, since your in your mid twenties. I have a hunch the girl you are with is fvcking her so called friend. She is probably horny and with you gone she needs some d!ck. If I were you Id become single again and fvck all the girls you want on your free time.

 

[GuanYu]

lordson if you're still paying attention to this thread, you should listen to all of the advice in this thread.

It's your ego getting the best of you thinking your girl isn't cheating. Trust me, if she doesn't allow you to hang out with her friends and is only letting you hit it once a week, then she's cheating and probably getting it better elsewhere or just became bored with you all together.

Get out and meet other girls, don't get trapped by some h0 who likes having her cake and eat it too. If you want to stay with her, you need to release some of your emotional investments in her and find other women. If you choose to dump her and move on, you're more of a man you're letting on to be ...

 

[SharinganUser]

You know Lordson, at first I thought you were certain she's not cheating. But every time you say "trust me guys, they're only friends and we bang only once a week," it seems more and more like you are not trying to convince anyone here but yourself that she is faithful.

I think you should re-evaluate your relationship with this woman instead of going of on a tangint everytime you don't get invited out with her friends. If I were you I'd start meeting other women (not nessecarrily for sex) and start distancing yourself from her. "Letting this one slide" and flipping out later is not an attractive quality and is something a woman would do.

You are only mid 20's you should have your own social life outside of each other.

Personally I think you should forget about marrying this woman and either dump her altogether or just make this an open relationship.

 

[Nutz]

He could have always just crashed it by

A) not making a big deal about it when she didn't invite him along and play dumb like it's all normal.

B) When she's out that night just call her up and say "Hey sweetie, I'm bored and want to meet up. Where's that party at?

Basically invite himself along all nonchalant like it's no big deal. If she balks, then you know you've got problems.

Honestly, I see her making a stink about it and will pull the trust card. To that I'd say if she hasn't got anything to hide then she wouldn't have a problem with him joining her for a night out on the town. After all there's that 6 months of them basically being apart, you know. She should be bending over backwards to be with him an should be making it perfectly clear to the people she normally hangs out with that when the OP is in town that's their quality time together. The fact that such a thought never even occurred to him or her speaks volumes about what's going on in this relationship.

Oh, and when women pull out the trust card it's a huge red flag. That's their way of deflecting guilt via projecting their insecurities on to the bf/husband.

 

[everywomanshero]

Lordson I don't know if you're pulling our legs here or not man but you should really watch that shows Cheaters more often man I can't believe you don't have your shields up by now bro. If something isn't going down yet it is getting ready to very soon.

 

[ontopfrombehind]

Wake the hell up!

She's cheating on you and taking advantage of your cowardice. Go to the party whether she likes it or not. If she puts up a fuss or makes a scene (or simply will not allow you to go) then leave her.

Something tells me you already know the truth. Why else would you be posting here?

 

[DonGorgon]

Dont marry her.
Keep Fing her.
Go find other women so you dont worry about her.
She is doing her kown thing.
She has other guys you wont ever know of.
Dont marry her.

Cheating is unavoidable... The 2 things humans lie about most is cheating and lying

 

[DonGorgon]

Women are unstable an illogical so you doing something "right" is not a sure way to make her behave as you want.. she THINKS with her FEELINGS

 

[lordson]

thanks for the replies, but seriously guys. once the avalanche of "she's f'ing him, dump her etc.'' starts it doesn't stop.

its not an issue of cheating suspicion, its she's hanging out with him too much.

this thread is similair: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=151736

 

[slaog]

thanks for the replies, but seriously guys. once the avalanche of "she's f'ing him, dump her etc.'' starts it doesn't stop.

its not an issue of cheating suspicion, its she's hanging out with him too much.

this thread is similair: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=151736

Nobody can definetly say she's cheating. We are saying that it's odd behaviour by her and it doesn't make sense.


I don't think she's cheating with that friend of hers. The guy sounds like he is firmly in the friend zone and I trust your judgement on that.


There are some things to consider though:
- Who are the guys friends? She's meeting his friends and hanging out and obviously she likes that crowd.
- Lack of attraction?? YOU could be the problem. It doesn't seem that she is very attracted to you. She might be but she has an odd way of showing it. Humans are not always logical though.
- It sounds like shes on a pedestal. Take her off it quickly. She should have to earn your attention and be grateful for spending time with you. Not trying to get away from you because you're both "spending every hour with each other".
- Why does she want to spend the quiet, boring time (during the day) with you and the exciting time (partying) with her friends?


Just some things to consider. I think you need to show her who the man is, don't spend too much time with her during the day if she's complaining about it and think long and hard if you want to marry her.