Girlfriend Forgets Promises Frequently - Thoughts?

[GymClassHero]

Need some opinions on how to handle this. Yesterday my girlfriend who I live with said she would send me some pictures to 'brighten up my day at work'. It got to 2pm when she was due to go to work and she hadn't sent them. I get a message an hour later reading 'I forgot to send those pictures, I'll make sure I wear that underwear you like later". Anyway we get home and she comes to bed not wearing the underwear.

Our sex life is great, we usually have it once or twice a day. This really bugs me when she forgets things like that though. Her excuse was "You should have just reminded me" but I don't feel like I should have to remind her, she should be excited to dress up for me.

How should I play this?

 

[Desdinova]

Your expectations are too high. Women live their lives according to how they feel in that moment. She's not going to want to look sexy for you when she's having a 5hit or talking to one of her girlfriends.

She'll be excited to dress up for you when she's getting excited thinking about you. If you're boring in your relationship, she's not going to be thinking about you all that often.

 

[ubercat]

It does sound like you were too invested thinking about her more than she thinks about you. probably time to shake things up a bit try some new interests and focus on improving yourself more

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Your expectations are too high. Women live their lives according to how they feel in that moment. She's not going to want to look sexy for you when she's having a 5hit or talking to one of her girlfriends.

She'll be excited to dress up for you when she's getting excited thinking about you. If you're boring in your relationship, she's not going to be thinking about you all that often.

How do we "not be boring"? Have other females for them to compete with, be too busy, give them drama and of fights?

 

[ubercat]

By enjoying life. if the chick is worth having around she will come along for the ride. a few personal examples. my girlfriend is Chinese. Chinese culture is obsessed with food. I like to cook so we often cook new recipes together. Most Asian girls play badminton I like sports so I learned badminton. her and I go to a Meetup group for that. I'm very slowly learning Chinese and have been long before this girlfriend. but I learn it smart. Chinese language has some hilarious sayings e.g. as good as a cows vagina. I sprinkle those at the conversation often inappropriately just for s**** and giggles I speak schoolboy French and the girlfriend is interested in going to France so we are learning together. sometimes I make her speak French in bed also just for s**** and giggles. Chinese guys only care about cash. so she's enjoying being sexually adventurous with me. our next project is to find a strong swing in a playground and try that one night. girls like you to lead and they like to learn something from you. be interested in life and be an accomplished guy and you will always have value to bring to the table beyond your **** and your wallet. a couple of Manly hobbies also help. I'm learning to ride a motorbike and I've been into martial arts for years

 

[ubercat]

One word of warning. you do have to calibrate your approach to the girl. I had taken some of Desdinova s posts about creating emotional fluctuation a bit too seriously and blown up a couple of fights with the girlfriend. @Scaramouche kindly reminded me that emotional control is highly regarded in Asian culture so my approach was counterproductive. My personal experience with Asian girls is that they are basically good girls and the normal to and fro in a relationship will provide all the fluctuation they need. leading them and passing s*** tests will naturally do that. @Desdinova also mentioned that it depends on the amount of drama in a girl's life. my Romanian x wanted life to be like a movie so if I had been smart I would have provided her with big ups. of course I'm a bit long in the tooth to tolerate much drama now. so I stick to the Good Girls now

 

[Roober]

If there is one thing I learned about promises... don't make them!

If there is one thing I learned about women's promises... take them with a grain of salt!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If there is one thing I learned about promises... don't make them!

If there is one thing I learned about women's promises... take them with a grain of salt!

I've had a few I could count on like a loyal and honorable man, but they aren't 9's and 10's and not even 8's or 7's. However if they cared they could be 8's or 9's. They don't invest most of their time on their outer shell like the "high value" girls do.

 

[ubercat]

In my opinion the 8s and 9s r mainly just good for sport fuks. at least that is how it is if you are an average Joe. you need to be a Millionaire to get the trophy wife.

I stick to good solid sevens for girlfriends. which at my point in life I define as cute good body positive personality some smarts interested in life and feminine.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You can "fix" your gf. Promise her to go shopping or something she really likes and blow her off a few times. Shell get the point.

 

[Desdinova]

How do we "not be boring"?

Promise her to go shopping or something she really likes and blow her off a few times.

You answered your own question.

 

[sazc]

Need some opinions on how to handle this. Yesterday my girlfriend who I live with said she would send me some pictures to 'brighten up my day at work'. It got to 2pm when she was due to go to work and she hadn't sent them. I get a message an hour later reading 'I forgot to send those pictures, I'll make sure I wear that underwear you like later". Anyway we get home and she comes to bed not wearing the underwear.

Our sex life is great, we usually have it once or twice a day. This really bugs me when she forgets things like that though. Her excuse was "You should have just reminded me" but I don't feel like I should have to remind her, she should be excited to dress up for me.

How should I play this?

I married someone who was 'forgetful'. At first I thought "oh, that's easy to change, we'll just work on it". What I didnt realize was that is who he was. It drove me nuts. He put everything off till the very last second (when there was a fire going on about it) and forgot everything.

Just realize that this is WHO SHE IS. If it bothers you now, and it continues, this is what you are going to get if you marry her.

If promises are important to you then you need to accept that and start to consider if this is the chick for you.

If it's not that 'major' then ignore what I said

 

[sazc]

You can "fix" your gf. Promise her to go shopping or something she really likes and blow her off a few times. Shell get the point.

she probably wont and I wonder if this will start the retaliation thing where she tries to get back at him for being a ****. $hit like this can be the start of the end of the relationship via retaliation.

OP, have you tried talking to her about it?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

she probably wont and I wonder if this will start the retaliation thing where she tries to get back at him for being a ****. $hit like this can be the start of the end of the relationship via retaliation.

OP, have you tried talking to her about it?

This IS how you talk to someone that is selfish. Lip service is a waste of time.

 

[dude99]

Need some opinions on how to handle this. Yesterday my girlfriend who I live with said she would send me some pictures to 'brighten up my day at work'. It got to 2pm when she was due to go to work and she hadn't sent them. I get a message an hour later reading 'I forgot to send those pictures, I'll make sure I wear that underwear you like later". Anyway we get home and she comes to bed not wearing the underwear.

Our sex life is great, we usually have it once or twice a day. This really bugs me when she forgets things like that though. Her excuse was "You should have just reminded me" but I don't feel like I should have to remind her, she should be excited to dress up for me.

How should I play this?

She sounds like a ditz but not a bad person. Let it go. If this is the worst of things you have to deal with, consider yourself very lucky.

 

[grayclif]

Shell get the point.

Yeah, while she has some dudes dyck in her mouth.

 

[Atom Smasher]

There is a problem here. You are experiencing a symptom of something deeper.

She is flighty and her promises are not real to her. I guarantee it will escalate to more important things. Take it from an older war horse.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

There is a problem here. You are experiencing a symptom of something deeper.

She is flighty and her promises are not real to her. I guarantee it will escalate to more important things. Take it from an older war horse.

Her flightiness will escalate to more important things? IE: she will be blowing off crucial items? Or will she raise his relative importance?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Her flightiness will escalate to more important things? IE: she will be blowing off crucial items? Or will she raise his relative importance?

Yes, she will start blowing off more crucial items. She has an automatic mechanism at work inside her that is undermiming their relationship.

Incidentally, a woman should NEVER be allowed to get away with the statement, "You should have reminded me". I would put a stop to that sh!t immediately. Accountability.

If the OP has his hooks in her deep enough, only dread game will change her. Very subtle hints are not so subtle to women and they will usually get the point when you convey that their behavior puts you in the fence about them.