"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Girl with commitment phobia

viking22

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I have quite a nice set up with this girl I have been seeing for around 4 months. She is very sweet and affectionate. She gets jealous if I mention other girls but doesn't really keep tabs on me so I can date other girls easily. We went on a holiday together for about five days this summer and had a great time together. At the end of the holiday she said she loves me. I didn't say anything back and since then she just occasionally says she likes me so much which I am happy to repeat back to her. And we are back in a routine of seeing each other once a week going for dinner or occasionally a film/concert/theatre etc then sleeping together. She insists on paying her own way and leaves it to me to suggest meeting up. She is very affectionate and compliments me a lot and is always saying how lucky she is to have me and treats me very well. Also a few months in she started calling me "my love". She's Greek and I think they use terms of endearment a lot more freely but it still feels a little strange when she says it. From our conversations it is also evident she has told her friends about us and so on.

To give an example she planned a surprise birthday party for me. She was on holiday during my birthday so I wasn't expecting anything. But the following weekend we went to a movie and back to hers. She told me to wait outside as she needed to tidy up a bit. And when she let me in she had a cake with candles and balloons and she bought me an expensive shirt as a present and wrote me a lovely card.

I should not be complaining but a part of me wonders why if she likes me as much as she seems to she isn't trying to get me to commit or label things or try to see me more regularly. Also she has not made any attempt to introduce me to her friends. She also hasn't initiated any conversations asking what I am looking for or where I see this going.

Should I just assume she wants to keep things the way they are and wait to see if she initiates any relationship talks or starts pushing to see me more often and in the meantime keep seeing other girls? Or is she expecting me to say I love you and ask her to be my girlfriend?

My worry is that if I just let things stay the way they are they could fizzle out and she has a lot of great qualities that are hard to find in modern women. She is not materialistic. She is sweet and giving and loves pleasing me. She is cute and several years younger than me. She is positive and upbeat and has a great sense of humour. She is sociable and gets along with everyone. And I really do not want to go back to dating entitled and selfish and materialistic women that I usually meet.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Doctor Europeo

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Sounds like LTR material, just dont knock her up or marry her until you known her for a few years.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Bro...stop trying to create problems that don't exist and just enjoy getting to know her more.

My guess as to your questions is she probably wants to but is unwilling of how you actually feel towards her so she doesn't want to potentially scare you off...

She has put herself out there a little bit and didn't get the response she was looking for so she may be a little shy to put herself out there again like that

Obviously just a guess based on very incomplete info.
 

EyeBRollin

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She doesn’t have commitment issues. Some girls just don’t initiate the “what are we discussion?” Keep things going the way they are.

I had one girl same exact scenario. Went on for eight months then she legit asked me if when I was going to propose. Like you, I was the de facto boyfriend and didn’t even realize.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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