DJoftheTheater
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2008
- Messages
- 13
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This should be basic, but I'm still learning...help?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You would next a girl just because she told you she thought she was overweight?KontrollerX said:Fishing for compliments and re-assurance.
She will get neither from a DJ.
Next...
Overly insecure.wjh said:You would next a girl just because she told you she thought she was overweight?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Not necessarily. She could be describing AN insecurity, and rest-assured, MOST people have insecurities. She could just feel comfortable enough with him to share it. The question at hand has VERY LITTLE context, and in-and-of itself, a little insecurity over weight issues is not a big deal. The OP may not think she is fat but it's not his call, it's hers. If she wants to lose a few pounds to be happy, that's her prerogative. She may not have known that sharing this bit of info with him would have been so thought-provoking.oakraiderz2 said:Overly insecure.
wjh said:If anything, to me, it may be an indication that this girl may workout and care about how she looks - unlike fat tubs of lard who think they're hot sh1t when they're obviously not.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Back in the day, my ex decided to start exercising at the house with an exercise ball. So, when it was not being used, I put it upstairs. She got mad at me because she had to go up and get it to do her exercise. I looked at her like she was crazy and asked, "you're going to exercise, but going and getting the ball is too much work". Then she started laughing when she realized how absurd she sounded.Beast from the East said:How about the girls that KNOW they are 30 lbs overweight, and always talk about it like it bothers them. And they always talk about how they want to go to the gym? But they never go to the gym and the only excersize they get is walking into Burger King.
Actually never mind, they use the drive thru.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
So you're saying that you should agree with her in saying that you think she's fat too and she should work out with you? Plan on getting any from her anytime soon?L B said:...Tell her that you will do cardio with her if she is willing to do weight training with you. Nothing sexier than taking a hot girl to the gym and working out with her.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.