DJoftheTheater
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2008
- Messages
- 13
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This should be basic, but I'm still learning...help?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You would next a girl just because she told you she thought she was overweight?KontrollerX said:Fishing for compliments and re-assurance.
She will get neither from a DJ.
Next...
Overly insecure.wjh said:You would next a girl just because she told you she thought she was overweight?
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Not necessarily. She could be describing AN insecurity, and rest-assured, MOST people have insecurities. She could just feel comfortable enough with him to share it. The question at hand has VERY LITTLE context, and in-and-of itself, a little insecurity over weight issues is not a big deal. The OP may not think she is fat but it's not his call, it's hers. If she wants to lose a few pounds to be happy, that's her prerogative. She may not have known that sharing this bit of info with him would have been so thought-provoking.oakraiderz2 said:Overly insecure.
wjh said:If anything, to me, it may be an indication that this girl may workout and care about how she looks - unlike fat tubs of lard who think they're hot sh1t when they're obviously not.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Back in the day, my ex decided to start exercising at the house with an exercise ball. So, when it was not being used, I put it upstairs. She got mad at me because she had to go up and get it to do her exercise. I looked at her like she was crazy and asked, "you're going to exercise, but going and getting the ball is too much work". Then she started laughing when she realized how absurd she sounded.Beast from the East said:How about the girls that KNOW they are 30 lbs overweight, and always talk about it like it bothers them. And they always talk about how they want to go to the gym? But they never go to the gym and the only excersize they get is walking into Burger King.
Actually never mind, they use the drive thru.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
So you're saying that you should agree with her in saying that you think she's fat too and she should work out with you? Plan on getting any from her anytime soon?L B said:...Tell her that you will do cardio with her if she is willing to do weight training with you. Nothing sexier than taking a hot girl to the gym and working out with her.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.