DJoftheTheater
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2008
- Messages
- 13
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This should be basic, but I'm still learning...help?
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You would next a girl just because she told you she thought she was overweight?KontrollerX said:Fishing for compliments and re-assurance.
She will get neither from a DJ.
Next...
Overly insecure.wjh said:You would next a girl just because she told you she thought she was overweight?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Not necessarily. She could be describing AN insecurity, and rest-assured, MOST people have insecurities. She could just feel comfortable enough with him to share it. The question at hand has VERY LITTLE context, and in-and-of itself, a little insecurity over weight issues is not a big deal. The OP may not think she is fat but it's not his call, it's hers. If she wants to lose a few pounds to be happy, that's her prerogative. She may not have known that sharing this bit of info with him would have been so thought-provoking.oakraiderz2 said:Overly insecure.
wjh said:If anything, to me, it may be an indication that this girl may workout and care about how she looks - unlike fat tubs of lard who think they're hot sh1t when they're obviously not.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Back in the day, my ex decided to start exercising at the house with an exercise ball. So, when it was not being used, I put it upstairs. She got mad at me because she had to go up and get it to do her exercise. I looked at her like she was crazy and asked, "you're going to exercise, but going and getting the ball is too much work". Then she started laughing when she realized how absurd she sounded.Beast from the East said:How about the girls that KNOW they are 30 lbs overweight, and always talk about it like it bothers them. And they always talk about how they want to go to the gym? But they never go to the gym and the only excersize they get is walking into Burger King.
Actually never mind, they use the drive thru.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
So you're saying that you should agree with her in saying that you think she's fat too and she should work out with you? Plan on getting any from her anytime soon?L B said:...Tell her that you will do cardio with her if she is willing to do weight training with you. Nothing sexier than taking a hot girl to the gym and working out with her.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.