"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Girl who dumped me 2 weeks ago, texts today, how to set up as FwB?
- Thread starter DamnSon
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
sazc
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Nothing, you say nothing. She hasn't asked you a question that needs responding. Stay silent, she will text again.
I'm just going ng to say, if I were hung up on a dude, and I sincerely needed time to study, I would say "give me 2 weeks of time, we'll chat on the phone, but let me focus" and there would be no extraneous dude pics.
That's how a woman who respects her man behaves
Scars
Master Don Juan
Most likely the case. She seems undecided, like she wants to hear you tell her to stay. She "thinks" she's going to leave tomorrow. But she might end up flaking. Up to you OP what you want to do. A lay is possible, but if she's just looking for some validation and then flakes, well you're back to square one again.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Exactly. So nothing huh? I feel like she's guilty and wanting to justify to herself what she did to make herself feel better. Part of me wants to be like "lol are you talking about our relationship ship? Are you just trying to make yourself feel Better? Because I'm fine with it, it's your loss, not mine." Id also like to call her a ***** but I won't say any of that because I wanna smash again lol. Yeah, she broke up with me...although she did say a few weeks before the break up she's trying her best to meet My needs and get her stuff done too and it's difficult. I WAS difficult at times, that I do know...but I didn't fee respected so I peacocked a lot
sazc
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No, you say nothing. SHE needs to be the one to say 'let's talk'. If you are going alpha on this, which you should, she needs to be the beta and ask for a Convo.
There are always a thousand things we would like to say to our ex lovers, but the best thing to say is the one thing that shouts "you didn't burn me at all" - THAT is communicated by being silent
sazc
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If you are worth it to her she WILL make the time between now and the end of that month.
Sit tight
Do you think her saying "i needed to do that. i had to do good and i hope you know that " is her way of initiating a talk, but without her coming right out and saying it? And I'm losing the opportunity here?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
True, it's. 3 hour drive. I suppose she could
Invite me up, or make a little time to see Before she leaves. I did extend the offer and tell
Her to let's hang and catch up so she knows I'm open to it. True that.
sazc
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I think you are doing what needy chicks do and trying to find some hidden agenda in a text message. Other guys on here would call you out for being beta.
The only good conversation is a straightforward conversation. You need to stop looking for hidden meanings, and subterfuge. On the real, if she gives a sh1t she WILL be straightforward with you and ask to talk.
You JUST asked her to hang. You have sent the CLEAR (no hidden meanings, no bullsh1t) message that you will see her again, that it is safe to ask for that Convo. Go NC and give her the chance to respect you by asking for the conversation.
Then keep her at an arms length until she proves herself.
Amen. I am super analytical and always trying to dissect things...in my head she's like "damn I really ****ed up" why else would you text me after dumping me. Funny because I'm talking to a few girls here now and getting out of the funk, but yeah..like ah go go awayyy I have no time for her games
sazc
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Stop being so OCD about texts. I was the same way. You get anxiety from it.
Read what they send. That's what they said. We can infer a thousand things from it but its much simpler to take it as it comes, at face value.
She said nothing about thinking she Fed up. You are projecting, and its got you all up in your head. That is not a healthy place to be. Stop. Be a man and walk the F away. Let her come to you
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
marmel75
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No it's her way of justifying her behaviour to herself. Women are masters of always blaming someone or something for their poor behaviour.
In fact I had a chick act poorly in a similar fashion once and come out and admit her poor behaviour and say she knows it and doesn't even feel bad about it...I actually respected it...we are still friends today, I don't talk or see her that often but she is a cool chick even though she is seriously BPD and knows it...
I was like damn...what a refreshing change...a woman who admits their faults.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
sazc
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Who Dares Win
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Any girl worth your time and effort that has a decent interest wont confuse you, annoy you, stress you and most of all force you to open a thread here asking for suggestions.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.