"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Girl who dumped me 2 weeks ago, texts today, how to set up as FwB?

DamnSon

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The girl who dumped me because "she feels she rushed into the relationship" Just texted me after I went about 2 weeks of NC. She is the young, 22 year old college senior. She didn't have any psychotic manipulative behavior, I just feel she wanted to be free to mess around and I got a big too controlling/boyfriendy, but no doubt maybe her other "option" didn't pan out.

How should I play this if I want to potentially initiate casual sex?

She texted me "hi" (Her boots are still at my house) If she asks me about them ill tell her I threw them out lol
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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marmel75

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Just give her short answers, and then tell her to come hang out..she'll know what you are offering
 

DamnSon

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Her: Hi
Me: Hey
Her: how are you
me: I'm good, you?
 

marmel75

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OK, now the next text she sends, sayd "Oh cool...I'm busy right now, but I'd love to catch up later, why don't you stop by tomrrow night and bring some wine/vodka/beer and we can hang out." If she agrees she is DTF, if not you just prevented her from wasting any more of your time.

If she refuses, just say "Ok, take care then." and don't text her anymore.
 

sazc

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OK, now the next text she sends, sayd "Oh cool...I'm busy right now, but I'd love to catch up later, why don't you stop by tomrrow night and bring some wine/vodka/beer and we can hang out." If she agrees she is DTF, if not you just prevented her from wasting any more of your time.

If she refuses, just say "Ok, take care then." and don't text her anymore.
perfect!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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marmel75

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Lol...never let a woman try and put you in orbit. She either plays by your rules or she plays elsewhere. No woman is ever worth your self-respect and dignity.
 

DamnSon

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Hell no, is never ever be an orbiter. my first response wanted to be like yeah what do you want? But I know if I wanna hook up again that would put her off. She didn't respond yet. Sometimes I swear they can feel when you're moving on. Either that or she's drunk textin.
 

sazc

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just please please please dont fall under the spell that 'if she apologizes and gives a weepy excuse, you'll take her back'

speaking as a female, she did you very wrong and she knows it. even if she is a 'confused teenager' she's not any smarter a few months later. it's going to take years for her to figure out how to make respectful decisions regarding men and relationships and then she has to learn how to value and respect men somewhere along that way too.
 

DamnSon

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"i'm okay. i think i made deans list lol" I'm about to say "woah nice look at you go sport (inside joke) I'm a little busy right now, you wanna get together before you leave for home?" Or is that too much she leaves to go home for a month in 2 days I think
 

DamnSon

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just please please please dont fall under the spell that 'if she apologizes and gives a weepy excuse, you'll take her back'

speaking as a female, she did you very wrong and she knows it. even if she is a 'confused teenager' she's not any smarter a few months later. it's going to take years for her to figure out how to make respectful decisions regarding men and relationships and then she has to learn how to value and respect men somewhere along that way too.
she must feel ****ty huh..I'm definitely a high value dude and she knows I woulda did a lot for her, maybe that's the issue. I'm sure her other option she's realizing is not the better. BUT I feel as if I still had some impact on it because I got controlling and needy
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sazc

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"i'm okay. i think i made deans list lol" I'm about to say "woah nice look at you go sport (inside joke) I'm a little busy right now, you wanna get together before you leave for home?" Or is that too much she leaves to go home for a month in 2 days I think
Say exactly what @marmel75 said
 

sazc

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she must feel ****ty huh..I'm definitely a high value dude and she knows I woulda did a lot for her, maybe that's the issue. I'm sure her other option she's realizing is not the better. BUT I feel as if I still had some impact on it because I got controlling and needy
Idk if she feels ****ty, that's the problem. She legit could have been monkey branching. You can't tell. That's why she needs to be a plate for awhile
 

Scars

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Well that was fast.. I've been going NC with my ex, but would like to slide in and out every once in awhile. We have a kid together so she is kind of forced to talk to me, but she is with a new dude and he's over there like every single night, but I can't see it lasting very long. I feel like my ex is coming up with excuses to call me, asking if my daughter left this and that over etc.. sometimes asks if I'm "ok" and ****. Just gonna keep doing my thing..
 

DamnSon

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I did say that, we'll see way she says. She does legit have to drive a few hours home in the next 1 or 2 days and despises my room mate but we'll see if she counters by inviting me there
 

sazc

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And now we wait!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DamnSon

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Well that was fast.. I've been going NC with my ex, but would like to slide in and out every once in awhile. We have a kid together so she is kind of forced to talk to me, but she is with a new dude and he's over there like every single night, but I can't see it lasting very long. I feel like my ex is coming up with excuses to call me, asking if my daughter left this and that over etc.. sometimes asks if I'm "ok" and ****. Just gonna keep doing my thing..
4 month of talking 1 month official dating, dumped me December 9th. Liked my FB status 2 days ago texted me today. I know schools done now so we'll see. I still feel a bit uneasy like I don't have 100% control but I'm not being a sucker
 

Scars

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4 month of talking 1 month official dating, dumped me December 9th. Liked my FB status 2 days ago texted me today. I know schools done now so we'll see. I still feel a bit uneasy like I don't have 100% control but I'm not being a sucker
I've had success with turning EX's into fvck buddies, so it is perfectly possible, but it takes tremendous inner game. If you feel like you're going to get attached and fall in love with her then it's best to just distance yourself. Sometimes you fvck for awhile and start catching feelings.. gotta throw that **** out the window and keep your frame.
 

DamnSon

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"i needed to do that. i had to do good and i hope you know that " i think I'm going home tomorrow morning =/"
 

sazc

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"i needed to do that. i had to do good and i hope you know that " i think I'm going home tomorrow morning =/"
Wait....this is the one who told you she had to drop you to study and then you saw pics of her partying a faith other dudes?

She's now trying to swing back around and reiterate the study angle? ( even tho you saw her social media?)

I may be getting mai dudes mixed up, so apologies if that is the case....how close am I?
 

DamnSon

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I didn't see her partying but saw her in snaps with another dude, it could have been a guy friend..she has a few but let's be real. What do I even say to that. Is she allologizing
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

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