"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Girl that flaked 2x times is begging to see me!?

H

Harry Wilmington

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First off, kudos on the hook-up!

You definitely beat the odds on this one happening, so congrats is in order for making it happen.

Now, with that said... I still don't like the drama this chick seems to have floating around her. You really need to step back and be observant about how deep you want to get with this chick.

Furthermore, you still don't know WHY she decided to suddenly hook up with you. It could be a revenge f--k against her ex-boyfriend, or she may have felt like she HAD to do it for flaking so many times so she'd have you back in her graces...

I don't say any of this to scare you, but it's so you'll keep your eyes open and avoid getting the dreaded "One-i-tis" with this chick.

In answer to your question: the moves that got the chick are the moves that will keep her around. And how did you get this chick, exactly?

1. You waited a few days to communicate with her
2. She hit YOU up (a brilliant move - since you hadn't called her, she started wondering if you found her attractive, got self-conscious and figured she needed to call you FIRST. Works every time!)
3. You made definite plans and told her flaking was unacceptable
4. You took charge when she came over

So, rinse, wash and repeat!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SgtSplacker

SgtSplacker

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Congratulations!

I'd call her today and say hi just so she doesn't think you are trying to ditch her after the lay. After that go 1 for 1 on the return call ratio unless she gets too sticky.

Then Call her Tuesday and try to set something up for next weekend if you are interested.

This is what I would do at least...
 
spiegel549

spiegel549

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Harry Wilmington said:
Furthermore, you still don't know WHY she decided to suddenly hook up with you. It could be a revenge f--k against her ex-boyfriend, or she may have felt like she HAD to do it for flaking so many times so she'd have you back in her graces...
Click to expand...

Brothers Thank you! Still surprised myself that it all went down, on that note...

Harry you are right...if she has "ex drama" then who knows why she ended up doing it..still was a blast though LOL.

It's funny because as you mention that above quote I recall a few moments when we were dancing and her responding to a few of my comments like "Oh well I'll just really have to make it up to you." etc. You know she put up a pretty decent fight with not going all the way..but I kept teasing her over and over until she broke down.

One of the greatest quotes I got from this site is "What a woman says and what she does is two entirely different things" This quote couldn't of proved more true. She said everything SHE needed to hear in her own head about how she is not an easy girl, blah blah blah. Meanwhile 20 minutes of intense teasing and her pants are off lol.

Now regardless, is this a chick I want to make into a LTR?....honestly ehh lets just say I need to proceed with extreme caution, and move very very slowly (while spinning other plates) and stick to what I have been doing (like you put in bold Harry)

Lets see if I can pull another get together in a few days...
(she left her Ipod at my house..so if she flakes at least I have a new Ipod!) kidding lol...but she really did leave it haha
 
spiegel549

spiegel549

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Just a random thought...

Since we did have sex last night...like Harry stated it is best to keep doing what I have been doing in the first place. I understand that changing my methods would make things turn back down hill so I need to keep what I have been doing UP.

So on that note reaming NC for a few days IS the BEST move right now after sleeping with her right? When we left off talking about what we were going to do next time we get together, towards the end of the night she said "Well you have a much more busy schedule then I do so you let me know when you are free so I can come over!"

So if I saw her Wednesday night, hitting her up Friday evening to invite her over for Sunday night is that okay? Am I jumping the gun rushing it?

I don't know WHY I am over thinking this...maybe because I slept with her I feel like thats a pass to contact her which I KNOW IS NOT lol...

Set me straight one last time please men!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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