"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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girl telling about guy she likes

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CaliGuyInLondon

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okay so theres this chick i kinda like, am getting over her, but she started telling me about some guy she likes the other day on IM, it was whatever, i ran some basic bf destruction and didn't worry about it.

but tomorrow we have to rehearse because we are scene partners in an acting scene together. so if she brings him up and starts talking about him im wondering i should say something like "look i really dont wanna hear about him", or just be unresponsive, or try to act friendly? or what?

any advice?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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John_Valido

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boyfriend destructor? that stuff is for when you first meet a woman. I don't endorse it because there's better ways, but still - it will work; but it's not for once a woman has put you in a position that you "get" over her... also boyfriend destroyer stuff will not work unless it's actually her boyfriend and she's been with him for a while.

in general - you shouldn't be in a position where she's talking to you about other guys she likes. unless you guys are fvck buddies and have some kind of open relationship where you share experiences you've had... but im sure that's not the case here lol

but if you haven't had sex with her, haven't dated her, haven't made out and got a finger in - then im sorry - there's no advice to give here...


What to do in the future if a woman brings another guy up? Assume it's a test, and do not do what 90% of guys would do (which would be: either comparing him to yourself and trying to show how much better you are. or visually or verbally showing jealousy)....

unresponsive? not quite... but try to take back the "frame" (change the subject to something you want to talk about) as quickly as possible...
 
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CaliGuyInLondon

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yeah, no i understand all your points.
i guess i wasn't all that clear in my initial post.

im like sick of this chick and literally trying to move on. the only reason im talking to her for the next week is because i have to do the scene, i plan on moving on completely right after that. there's quite a long story to it, but its long.

basically im just wondering, since i dont care and am not trying to hook up with her or anything, is it ****ed up if im like listen i dont wanna hear about your ****. i mean i still wanna be a man about it, and not come across as a *****, so thats why i asked. s hould i just nod my head and be like whatever, or just finally be honest and tell her i dont give a ****. in nicer words of course. if that makes sense. or does it not even matter. ha.
 
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John_Valido

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nicer words? you're trying to get over this girl, and i believe you when you say you'd be moving on better if you weren't around her....

so...

screw it... don't worry about "nicer words"... go the weirder out by her weirdness route! ha

HER: so did i tell you how terrific Trevor is.... he was...
YOU: Ew, get the fvck away from me! I'm not your girlfriend.

simple.... anytime she brings him up - act like she's weird... act like a booger just came out of her nose.

don't be too serious with it.

you don't care after all.... right?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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