"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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girl says she doesn't like talking on the phone?

tony-montana

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this girl i met on myspace (yeah i know myspace is gay but this was ages ago) we been emailing each other for a while but with big gaps on her behalf mostly. she usually takes like... a week or something to reply sometimes im lucky and get an instant reply. guess she's a busy girl like any other. anyway so i decide to just bring out the question about her number so we can speak on the phone instead and she comes back with:

I been bad again, sorry. Been a rough few weeks. I hate talking on the phone so can we keep emailing?? :)
Hope you are good and so's the pooch

i actually tried to forget about her since she took so long to reply AND after i asked for her number. she read my reply the day i sent it but replied like two weeks later? i was thinking "okay i guess that's out the window." and forget about her then she suddenly replies. crazy eh? to be honest it's a bit of relief that she doesn't wanna talk on the phone as i too hate talking on it and love to chat/email/type, whatever. she sent that two weeks ago and i only just read it today so i've been bad myself :p

is there something i should know about this phone business cause i know all girls love phones. i'm guessing it's because she doesn't know me too well and would feel weird?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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penkitten

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i have never heard a woman say she hates talking on the phone, and not only do i know alot of women, but i am one of them.
 

tony-montana

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so you are probably thinking what i am thinking. that she's just trying to bring it down nicely instead of saying "i don't wanna talk to YOU on the phone." i hate liars and you women do that alot.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Phyzzle

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so you are probably thinking what i am thinking. that she's just trying to bring it down nicely instead of saying "i don't wanna talk to YOU on the phone."
Yep. Either that or it's a fake profile and she's a 40 year old guy who's messing with you.
 

tony-montana

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it's not a guy unless she's put up over 20 photos of a fake girl and her at a friends wedding etc. i'm thinking of telling her straight out i know she's just trying to be nice but i don't need to be lied to:

"aww i know you love talking on the phone you can't fool me :p you just don't want to give me your number and that's cool. if it's emails you want that's fine."

i feel like adding a "JUST DONT FUKING LIE TO ME!!!"
 

War Against Betaism

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She's probably not interested in you, that's really the only way I see it as.
 

tony-montana

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this is what i hate about women. why not just fuking tell me or don't reply. geez. i was just forgetting about her then two weeks later she replies the dumb fuk.
 

War Against Betaism

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tony-montana said:
this is what i hate about women. why not just fuking tell me or don't reply. geez. i was just forgetting about her then two weeks later she replies the dumb fuk.
Women are nice and don't want to hurt other people's feelings, that's why. I've learnt this lesson countless times. What I've also learnt is that it's not too late. You can still get her attracted to you, the problem is you need to wait it out, maybe a couple of months, and then talk to her.

If she's not interested in you, there must be something wrong with your game. Try to fix up what you think you need work on with other women, then go back to her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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tony-montana

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trust me pal.. i done all i can through a damn message. ask her questions and questions cause we all know they love talkin about themselves. i don't really use myspace at all i just came across this one profile.. read it and i was attracted to it. basically all we say in our messages is how are you i did this the weekend that just went etc. cause we both already know what our hobbies/interests are. going to run out of things to talk about soon. in person it's different.
 

LovelyLady

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I'm a girl too... hope you don't mind my popping in...

I have found that there are some people (both men and women) who just are not good at connecting in the "real" world.

They either like to email a lot, or some want to be phone buddies. These are people (both men and women can be this way) who are more interested in having a sounding board or having someone bear witness to their lives so they feel less alone (limited to the "what I did today" type sharing). They are not actually interested in actively participating in sharing themselves and their actual life WITH you, though. Sharing ABOUT your day is nice - but actually sharing a day together - two different things.

It's best to find out sooner rather than later what kind of person you are dealing with so you can decide accordingly if you want to continue contact or not.
 

tony-montana

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LovelyLady said:
It's best to find out sooner rather than later what kind of person you are dealing with so you can decide accordingly if you want to continue contact or not.
and how do you suggest one does that? you can't really just ask "hey are we gonna meet one day or are we just going to keep emailing each other." to be honest i'm sure she gets plenty attention from guys when she's out so i doubt she wants to meet some guy she emails. maybe i'm just wasting my time.
 

LovelyLady

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tony-montana said:
I hate talking on the phone so can we keep emailing??
That is her answer. Her needs are being met through emiling - yours are not. And your needs matter too. This is a sign of incompatability, IMHO. Now advice on getting her more interested and seducing her, etc. - I leave that to the men to tell you LOL

I do think evaluating if you want to put energy towards a relationship with someone who doesn't want to (or cannot ) talk with you on the phone - regardless of why - is something worth processing. Your needs matter too - even in friendships, much less romance.
 

wolf116

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how about leaving this wast of time alone and find a real life girl
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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mrRuckus

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War Against Betaism said:
Women are nice and don't want to hurt other people's feelings, that's why. I've learnt this lesson countless times. .
Um no. They just want to avoid any uncomfortable feelings they'll experience if they're upfront. To hell with what you think.
 

tony-montana

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she IS a real life girl... on a computer. lol. she doesn't know me yet to like me. in person it would be a different story but i don't think i even like her anymore. her star sign sucks and i know someone who has the same star sign. no good. yes you're all probably right. emails don't go nowhere. i think i'm just attracted to her looks *shrugs*
 

War Against Betaism

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mrRuckus said:
Um no. They just want to avoid any uncomfortable feelings they'll experience if they're upfront. To hell with what you think.
To hell with what you think.
 

wolf116

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tony-montana said:
she IS a real life girl... on a computer. lol. she doesn't know me yet to like me. in person it would be a different story but i don't think i even like her anymore. her star sign sucks and i know someone who has the same star sign. no good. yes you're all probably right. emails don't go nowhere. i think i'm just attracted to her looks *shrugs*
:box: Star sign !!!! are you kidding? Dude, star signs are for women. Have you ever seen your star sign in any mens magazines?

GET OFF YOUR COMPUTER AND FIND A REAL LIFE GIRL TO TALK TO. STOP HIDING BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER!!!!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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