You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I agree from the first 'til the last word, totally! Couldn't have said it betterSerialized3 said:I suppose my way of minimizing drama with girls I'm seeing is to be upfront with my intentions and what I'm looking for right from the start. I'm honestly in it just to meet new girls, and I tell them exactly that. Hell, I don't even "date" anymore, I just "hangout". Sometimes I'll add that I'm not looking for a gf, as it seems many younger women are more into casual dating/hookups. I wouldn't call that part a lie, maybe just a stretch of the truth, because I'm qualifying them to see if they might be gf material.
I'm sort of looking for an LTR, but I've dated so many girls and I've only met a few that have really impressed me. My standards for a gf are high (cultured/sophisticated, intelligent, playful, confident, kindhearted, into the outdoors, and at least "cute"), but what can I say, I'm a catch. :woo:
However, I still believe drama is inevitable, expectations are created, emotions get involved, but it is what it is. Most of the rational, logical arguments you can make to justify your actions or even the situation as a whole are thrown out the window in a fight, as logic holds no weight in an emotionally charged conflict. But you can at least be content with yourself and your choices, if you are trying to live the good life, as I am.
If you tell are girl you just want to be casual (with her) you can say that you never "used" her "just for sex" when she tries to play that card ("honey baby, you know you got more out of it than I did...")
And if you're telling them that you're seeing other girls (which you should be), then they can't really get upset if they find out that you're seeing other girls later, even if there was no understanding that there was some sort of exclusivity or whatever...
I think it's always important to try to get a bearing on whatever girl you're dating, you know, so you don't treat a sophisticated girl like a ho, and don't treat a ho as a sophisticated girl.
As for the big brothers... you either need to hone in on your DONG-FOO or just buy a stun-gun or a pistol. :trouble:
For me, the only drama I'm involved right now is rather minor, two of the girls I'm seeing now seem to have low confidence or something, who both act all shy, unpredictable, flaky, and generally just squirrelly. It's fucking annoying.
That post turned out a lot longer than originally intended.
TIGER VAULT, GOAT BREATH!
Leave out the bit about a couple of people."I'm currently dating, but I'm not in a committed relationship."
I dont think this was my quote you quoted. But to answer your question, I think my standards are so high for someone I would consider to have an LTR with, that it is very unlikely I will meet her, at least not in this country. So for now, all I can do is connect with women on a casual basis and see how far it goes, which is usually not very far. My problem is that I treat women so well in bed that they quickly become addicted, and even when there is not much other connection, they still stalk me for sex.JDA70 said:Leave out the bit about a couple of people.
Dongfu what in a LTR are you looking for?
You said you wanted total freedom.
Are you affraid of commitment because you may
fall of the path?
BTW if you haven't you should check out Carlos Xuma's
The Dating Black Book.
long term relationshipmoto said:whats LTR?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Wow, what a.....problem to have. I'd rather have too little time because girls want all of it than to have too much time and not a girl in my life.Rex Man said:1) Girls want to much of your time and eventually you'll have too many girls to rotate through the week along with work, school, etc.
xdreamz said:in the morning before i drift off, why do i see visions in my mind of me living inside my oneitis' life in first person view? visuals of a boyfriend before me, and poetic images i said about her?
when i pray at night, why do i hear her voice comforting me?
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
this is basically what I do in HawaiiGiovanni Casanova said:Move to Cancun and just f*ck the tourists. Then they go home, and -PRESTO!- no drama.