Girl picked guy who flaked on her over me

[SanDog11]

So about a month ago I randomly met a beautiful girl in the bar and after dancing all night we went back to my place and hooked up. Then hooked up again a couple nights later.

Anyway, she's always busy and travels for work so in this past month weve talked a bit but never had our official date.

This Thursday was supposed to be our first date, but she called me to say that the night we hooked up she was flaked on and now they are going to go out Saturday to a mutual friends part where I was supposed to go to as well.

Now I knew she had to be feeling insecure that night cause why would she sleep with me on the first night? I also give her props for calling me, she owes me nothing and we haven't even had a date yet.

So I played it cool and my question is this: I don't have another date for this party so should I go and play it cool while shes there with the other guy? Dress nice, be myself and see how she handles it?
I think it would look good to show up and show I'm not bothered by it, especially if I can find a date before Saturday! But if I can't find a date should I just go stag?

 

[The Duke]

Define "hooked up"? Do you mean hung out together or you fuhked her?

 

[Von]

So about a month ago I randomly met a beautiful girl in the bar and after dancing all night we went back to my place and hooked up. Then hooked up again a couple nights later.

Anyway, she's always busy and travels for work so in this past month weve talked a bit but never had our official date.

This Thursday was supposed to be our first date, but she called me to say that the night we hooked up she was flaked on and now they are going to go out Saturday to a mutual friends part where I was supposed to go to as well.

Now I knew she had to be feeling insecure that night cause why would she sleep with me on the first night? I also give her props for calling me, she owes me nothing and we haven't even had a date yet.

So I played it cool and my question is this: I don't have another date for this party so should I go and play it cool while shes there with the other guy? Dress nice, be myself and see how she handles it?
I think it would look good to show up and show I'm not bothered by it, especially if I can find a date before Saturday! But if I can't find a date should I just go stag?

Dont go, dont waste your time

No matter what happened before, she put you in has the 3rd wheel aka orbiter.

Dont go.

If you already committed : Flake on her

If she reach out again: Settle à date (you'll know if she's interested)... if she ask why you flaked "i was busy" (is your answer) and schedule à date.

You will know she's interested if she says Yes.

Anything else or anything that aint simple: "thank you for your time, I seek à date, not a friend. Bye"

 

[SanDog11]

We had great sex for two nights. I'm in my 30's sorry I wouldn't be saying anything for making out

 

[SanDog11]

Dont go, dont waste your time

No matter what happened before, she put you in has the 3rd wheel aka orbiter.

Dont go.

If you already committed : Flake on her

If she reach out again: Settle à date (you'll know if she's interested)... if she ask why you flaked "i was busy" (is your answer) and schedule à date.

You will know she's interested if she says Yes.

Anything else or anything that aint simple: "thank you for your time, I seek à date, not a friend. Bye"

What if I showed up fashionable late to the party with another date? Would this be a better option than allowing her to think that I'm not there because i'm bothered that she's there with this other guy?

 

[marmel75]

You aren't her first choice...it happens. You basically had no prayer once this dude came back into the picture.

I wouldn't bother going unless you are bringing someone better looking or at least as good...otherwise she is going to think she made a wise decision. At least this way if things dont work out with the other guy she will probably be back.

But at that point she is only FB material. You know you aren't her first choice and trying to make her anything above a FB would be a mistake...she will always be looking to replace you.

 

[The Duke]

Don't ever live your life by what other people think. Do what is best for you and makes YOU happy. Who cares if you look like a lesser person because you take an inferior girl to this party or come by yourself. Why let an outsider control your thoughts/actions?

You can slice this thing a million ways. The only thing that can be determined is you aren't her first choice. You were the guy at the right place and right time. These types of girls aren't worth chasing. Ask yourself....if you had another girl on deck that was as hot as this one would you even care?

And do you really want to pursue something with this girl? She has already shown her character. You happened to be the beneficiary of it this time, you won't be next time.

 

[wifehunter]

Sounds like she's busy with her collection of schlongs. How does feel? If you care, you lose.

 

[SanDog11]

Don't ever live your life by what other people think. Do what is best for you and makes YOU happy. Who cares if you look like a lesser person because you take an inferior girl to this party or come by yourself. Why let an outsider control your thoughts/actions?

You can slice this thing a million ways. The only thing that can be determined is you aren't her first choice. You were the guy at the right place and right time. These types of girls aren't worth chasing. Ask yourself....if you had another girl on deck that was as hot as this one would you even care?

And do you really want to pursue something with this girl? She has already shown her character. You happened to be the beneficiary of it this time, you won't be next time.

I'm okay with not being her first choice, and I guess that if I did have someone else I was interested in I would not care at all. I just feel as if I don't go now it makes me look like a chump and it tells her that she hurt me and I didn't come see my boy because of it...smh. For some reason this is REALLY bothering me today lol and that pisses me off too.

Four more hours of work then gym time and bbq dinner.

 

[SanDog11]

I realize I contracicted myself. I said it doesn't bother me that I'm not her first choice, and then I close it by saying it's really bothering me.
Well, yea I'm pretty pissed off today lol

 

[Murk]

If it’s your boys party and you were meant to go, then go. Try get a hot date (sounds like you can’t), try maybe game a hot chick from now until the party to go with, or just rock up and be your usual self and pay her no mind/try get with a hot chick there.

 

[lizardking82]

Even if you got her to stay "with you", she would be a codependant person as apparently, this girl is not able to have healthy, normal relationships with men.

 

[SanDog11]

this ultimately, is the point

you can also substitute someone for something

So last night I was at one of my local pubs and there is a girl there I have been slowly working on the past month and I ended up getting her number and "securing" a date for Saturday night at my boys party. She does have to work that evening so she says we can go from like 7 to 8:30 and it starts at 6.

I think me showing up with this girl for a quick hour or two and then leaving will really improve my status with this other girl but who knows - that shouldn't be my objective anyway.

This girl is equally as pretty but is Asian and is very exotic looking so I'm stoked on the idea of actually showing up with her. We will see if she flakes.

I'll text her Friday, the day before the party, to confirm.

 

[Glassguy]

I think if you take this chick to the party it should be because you are interested in her and want to bang her.

Taking her as some sort of "payback" or "look at me" is petty and childish. You shouldnt be living your life to impress a chick that clearly is all over the place and obviously fvcking other dudes.

JMO.

 

[SanDog11]

why not just go out with the asian chick and have fun?

if you are in the same social circle as the first girl, i guarantee its gonna get back to her anyway. you can used this as an opportunity for a major pull and display of pre-selection/mystery to your advantage. women have a sharpened perception in these matters. TRYING to foster certain feelings to illicit favorable responses usually backfires and just breeds resentment as opposed to just DOING things that you enjoy and just living your life.

I guess I'm just stuck in the mindset of this girl knew I was going to go until she told me she already set up this date with the other guy who flaked on her, so if I don't go I think it will make me look butt hurt and weak. If I simply show up for an hour or so with someone else it shows I have other options and am not just focused on her. I think I may of came off a little needy to her at some point. not sure.

 

[nismo-4]

Second place is first loser. When an ex comes back or a better looking guy comes in, look out!

Don't be her orbiter. If you go, you need someone who's at or above her looks level. Ignore her otherwise.

Never get attached.

 

[SanDog11]

So I went the party by myself because the girl I was gona take, who had to work, couldn't give me a concrete window so I told her forget about it maybe another night. So I went by myself.

The girl there who I had taken home for great sex two times just 30 days before could not stop looking at me the entire time. It was noticable to people at my table and it went on that all night. I talked to her guy, said hello to her, and it was all GOOD until the very end of the night when I spoke with her and acted a bit aggressive.. I was smashed at that point and If I wasn't drunk I would of just left it alone!! But I didn't.

I didn't diss her man but in a sense told her I don't see the connection or chemistry and the entire time I told her that she was smiling and laughing and looked flattered. Then the next day she blew me up for forever telling me i'm too aggressive, it shows my immaturity blah blah blah.

I replied that my only fault was being to into her when I had no reason to be. We went back and forth a couple times and she says well, "let's just forget it and hopefully we can start fresh"

She made it clear to me she doesn't want a relationship. Does this mean I may get a call for sex one night or just scrap this whole girl because I messed it up? time to move on regardless.

 

[SanDog11]

Bump. I need some feedback on what game this girl is playing. How can I be too.aggressive win we.smashed the first two times we met? Meanwhile she has other guys she's been talking on the phone too for months before they date..
Is she simply protecting herself against me? We have attraction, we have chemistry, and she's pissed I told.her that I didn't see.that with her date.

 

[SanDog11]

I will. I've left her alone. Met would appreciate some more insight.