"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Girl initiating texting but not meeting up?

MountainSlide

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I know this HB8. Hooked up with her a bunch of times before. Now it seems that she just wants to be pen pals?? Lol. She initiates texting everyday but seems to have no interest in meeting up. I’ll shoot 2-3 messages back and forth. Then tell her I’m going to do xyz, chat later. Later on, she’ll initiate the text conversation again! Wtf kinda bs is this?? (I quit trying to make plans with her because every time she’ll agree then cancel)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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BackInTheGame78

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I know this HB8. Hooked up with her a bunch of times before. Now it seems that she just wants to be pen pals?? Lol. She initiates texting everyday but seems to have no interest in meeting up. I’ll shoot 2-3 messages back and forth. Then tell her I’m going to do xyz, chat later. Later on, she’ll initiate the text conversation again! Wtf kinda bs is this??
Did you ask her to go or just state that you are going somewhere? Maybe she is waiting for you to take the lead and well...lead?

What do you want from this? If you've already hooked up a bunch of times why don't you just invite her over to hang out or make dinner, etc?
 

MountainSlide

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Did you ask her to go or just state that you are going somewhere? Maybe she is waiting for you to take the lead and well...lead?
Just edited original post. The last three times I asked her out she agreed then cancelled plans (with a reasonable excuse) but no offer to reschedule.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Just edited original post. The last three times I asked her out she agreed then cancelled plans. No offer to reschedule.
You aren't at the top of her list. You are the guy she will meet up with when she has nothing better to do.

Maybe she doesn't want to meet you out or do anything but would be DTF? Try inviting her over and tell her to wear something sexy or tell her to wear something she wore when you guys were banging.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Also, think of it like this. There is only one way to get anyone to do anything. And that is to make them want to do it.

So the question you should ask yourself is "How can I make her want to come out with me?" And then try to follow that path.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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MountainSlide

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You aren't at the top of her list. You are the guy she will meet up with when she has nothing better to do.

Maybe she doesn't want to meet you out or do anything but would be DTF? Try inviting her over and tell her to wear something sexy or tell her to wear something she wore when you guys were banging.
Well my life is definitely way busier than hers. I think she’s trying to get me to chase her and throw me into her orbit.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Well my life is definitely way busier than hers. I think she’s trying to get me to chase her and throw me into her orbit.
Try just inviting her over. Or just call her up and be straight up with her and say something like:

"Look, I'm not sure what you are looking for but I just want to let you know how I operate. I am not interested in being penpals or text buddies with anyone. I don't date women I don't see and I don't text women I am not dating. Ball is your court, let me know when you are free to get together."
 

devilkingx2

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I know this HB8. Hooked up with her a bunch of times before. Now it seems that she just wants to be pen pals?? Lol. She initiates texting everyday but seems to have no interest in meeting up. I’ll shoot 2-3 messages back and forth. Then tell her I’m going to do xyz, chat later. Later on, she’ll initiate the text conversation again! Wtf kinda bs is this?? (I quit trying to make plans with her because every time she’ll agree then cancel)
Your goal is to force her into a position where she either gets nothing she wants from you, or sucks your ****, no in-between. She'll either give you what you want or leave you alone (or if she legitimately wants a more friendly relationship she won't have any problem with what you'll do)

Basically make sure you're not giving her free money, services, emotional support or attention. Nothing that would make it worthwhile to stick around without a genuine interest in you as a person.

If she disappears, she was a user.

If she starts fvcking you she either realized she'd rather have sex with you than lose you, or she's a hoe that's trading sex for favors from you.

If she continues to talk to you with no problems, then she's just a girl that is your friend and nothing more, she's not interested but she doesn't dislike you and isn't a user.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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DEEZEDBRAH

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I know this HB8. Hooked up with her a bunch of times before. Now it seems that she just wants to be pen pals?? Lol. She initiates texting everyday but seems to have no interest in meeting up. I’ll shoot 2-3 messages back and forth. Then tell her I’m going to do xyz, chat later. Later on, she’ll initiate the text conversation again! Wtf kinda bs is this?? (I quit trying to make plans with her because every time she’ll agree then cancel)
Delete # +++ block!

#nextset

She texts after getting stretched out by Tyrone.

Meanwhile hotter girls are turning 18 everyday.
 

biggoal

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I know this HB8. Hooked up with her a bunch of times before. Now it seems that she just wants to be pen pals?? Lol. She initiates texting everyday but seems to have no interest in meeting up. I’ll shoot 2-3 messages back and forth. Then tell her I’m going to do xyz, chat later. Later on, she’ll initiate the text conversation again! Wtf kinda bs is this?? (I quit trying to make plans with her because every time she’ll agree then cancel)
I get this sometimes too from women I get numbers from.
 

onlineman

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I know this HB8. Hooked up with her a bunch of times before. Now it seems that she just wants to be pen pals?? Lol. She initiates texting everyday but seems to have no interest in meeting up. I’ll shoot 2-3 messages back and forth. Then tell her I’m going to do xyz, chat later. Later on, she’ll initiate the text conversation again! Wtf kinda bs is this?? (I quit trying to make plans with her because every time she’ll agree then cancel)
she's looking for a commitment , and is testing how persistent you are , she sounds manipulative, because if she was into you she would make time, Best to ignore and move on
 

MountainSlide

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So earlier she texted me. I told her that I was off to Christmas dinner. Nice hearing from you. Chat later. Then she starts texting me again about half an hour ago. I asked her what she’s doing tomorrow. She says shopping. I asked her if she wants to meet up for drinks in the evening. She responds with “maybe. Depends on how tired I am”. :rofl::lol:. So I just responded “maybe another time then. Have a goodnight”. Then she starts accusing me of getting mad at her. People these days. Just watch. I’ll make other plans tomorrow night and then she’ll hit me up to meet lol.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

MountainSlide

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she's looking for a commitment , and is testing how persistent you are , she sounds manipulative, because if she was into you she would make time, Best to ignore and move on
I feel kinda like someone’s trying to manipulate me in this situation. Never dealt with this one before. I don’t even think she’s deliberately manipulating. I think she’s just confused and afraid
 

MountainSlide

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She is getting free attention from you.

1. Stop initiating
2. Stop asking her out.
3. one or two polite responses then "it's been great chatting twith you but I gotta run"
4. Don't ask her out.

Eventually she will find another source of attention or she will ask if you want to get together. At that time you say "naw, you always flake"
That’swhat I’ve already been doing lol.
 

MountainSlide

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You are giving her the benefit of the doubt . I think you are wrong. I think she wants attention.

Next time she texts you say " I am really tied up, just get ahold of me when you want to meet up" and then never respond again to ANYTHING but an offer to meet up.
Good idea. Best idea is just to ignore
 

Redwolf

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I had a similar situation. Girl was texting me up flirting but would never want to meet. I stopped reaching out and stopped following her snap and Instagram. She gets zero attention from me now. She still follows all of mine pretty closely. I'm nice and fun when I see her in person but I keep it short and move on. She can be real or **** off.
 

MountainSlide

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I had a similar situation. Girl was texting me up flirting but would never want to meet. I stopped reaching out and stopped following her snap and Instagram. She gets zero attention from me now. She still follows all of mine pretty closely. I'm nice and fun when I see her in person but I keep it short and move on. She can be real or **** off.
This girl will meet. If I wanted to jump on her orbit. I believe that she’d throw me some occasional sex. So then you’d wonder why not just plate her then? The problem is that it will always be on her terms and I’ll take the role of subservient bytch (hence the orbiter). A position I have zero interest in being in.

So I’m just going to quit caring about bringing other women around our mutual friends etc. This will lead to me becoming the bad guy and will turn out two possible results: 1) she will not care and f* off. Or 2) she will get jealous and enter the subservient position.

Given my expectations for myself (not to be a beta orbiter) and my competitive nature. She either has to screw off or she can take the passive role.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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