"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Girl I like getting mad I’m getting fit?

Lordeterra

Senior Don Juan
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See this girl at the gym almost everyday and I think she’s hot as ****. Today at the gym she gave me the stink eye when usually we would eye each other down at the gym. I have been getting hella ripped. Do girls hate guys when they see them improving more and more? She’s hot as **** and I’m going to approach her tomorrow if I see her
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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BackInTheGame78

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This is one of the more ridiculous threads I have seen in a while.

Troll senses are tingling with this one...

I think you should get in her vision, put your head in your hands and rock back and forth violently a few times then just go up to her, pull her headphones off and say

"Yo...straight from the muthafvckin' slums that's busted...
Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuttin' to fvck wit'"

With a few well placed hand gestures as you say it for emphasis.

Then see how she reacts...I mean if she ain't down with the Wu she needs to fvck off anyway. If she asks why you were acting that way just tell her you were getting into character to head into the 36 chambers to get C.R.E.A.M, tell her a story about Once Upon a Time in Shaolin and how you are about to be smoking bones in the staircase and see if she wants to join you.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jimwho

Master Don Juan
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She could have forgotten her contacts. NO, but I had a girlfriend that was clearly upset with me. After demanding
She tell me what her problem was, it turned out she didn't think I would like her when she used to be fat.o_O well turns out before I met her she lost 70 pounds. Now there's a hijack for ya!
 
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