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Girl I’ve been dating told me she’s still married

BJP1991

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Seeing a girl for close to a month - started out once weekly, currently about twice weekly. Lots of sex, very passionate, shared interests, etc - I dig her.

Our second date she told me she was married at 20 but has been separated for a few years- not a big deal I figured. I don’t care if a girl was married, as long as she isn’t still married...

Only recently did she finally reveal she, in fact, is still married, but separated. Has been for some time now (multiple years). However the keyword there is “multiple years”. Why not split sooner? She made reasons about him being difficult, her family still wanting him as part of their family, lotta bulls***

She’s very open about the details of her past relationship and why it was bad (addictions, gambling, turned out to be someone different/lying and deceit).


I plan to just ask her if she had a plan or timeline or else I’m just have to be out probably - I don’t want to be second fiddle to a married girls man, even if they’ve been apart for a good amount time. They’re still bound together...

Can you guys let me know thoughts? I would be pretty damn happy if she wasn’t friggen married...
 

GioWolf

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Sometimes the legal process can draw things out. I’m my state, you have to be separated for a year before you can officially divorce. Maybe she’s just holding on until she can find a better option. Either way, she made a decision to leave and she’s going to mess around with someone else, have your fun. Just don’t fall in love or do anything stupid. Plate only.
 

Serenity

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It's not a big deal, they're separated, meaning they're only married on paper but not practically. Before any sort of commitment I'd definitely push her to get the paperwork done though, until then just have fun with her. Communicate this though, let her know you would like to take it a step further but not until she's completely divorced and until then it's kinda casual.

Had she still actively been with the dude then it would be a different story. If she gets the process going fairly quickly then it's all good, if she keeps making excuses you have to consider whether you want to just keep her casually or move on.
 

Desdinova

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Our second date she told me she was married at 20
What are your goals with this piece of trash? If you're not planning to just fvck and toss her, then you're headed down the wrong path.

Women who have been married are damaged. If you're looking for a long lasting relationship full of companionship, loyalty and respect, this is the wrong woman. All she's good for is a fvck and toss.
 

GrowingPains

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What are your goals with this piece of trash? If you're not planning to just fvck and toss her, then you're headed down the wrong path.

Women who have been married are damaged. If you're looking for a long lasting relationship full of companionship, loyalty and respect, this is the wrong woman. All she's good for is a fvck and toss.
Damn, D. That's cold af.

Since you generalized, why isn't it possible that a man and woman grow apart..? Just as they do in pre-marital relationships? People are moving targets.
 

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mrgoodstuff

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Damn, D. That's cold af.

Since you generalized, why isn't it possible that a man and woman grow apart..? Just as they do in pre-marital relationships? People are moving targets.
She's married/has a man, who says she's not talking to guys other than you as well.
 

GrowingPains

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She's married/has a man, who says she's not talking to guys other than you as well.
That's possible but I wasn't asking about that.

Based on what OP said... they're not exclusive so it's not a problem even if she was. Or if he was.
 

Alvafe

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That's possible but I wasn't asking about that.

Based on what OP said... they're not exclusive so it's not a problem even if she was. Or if he was.
he post do recks of lack of options though, or oneitis, he is wanting to get serious soooo.

what desdinova says stand
 

GrowingPains

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he post do recks of lack of options though, or oneitis, he is wanting to get serious soooo.

what desdinova says stand
Gotcha. Didn't know the context. Thanks.
 

In2theGame

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Only recently did she finally reveal she, in fact, is still married, but separated. Has been for some time now (multiple years). However the keyword there is “multiple years”. Why not split sooner?
See it for what it is.... She is a liar. Period. If you ask her why she did not reveal this to you earlier and why she tried to hide it, she will make something up to soften the lie. If i were you I would play it very loosely with this chick because you can't believe what she tells you or if she's even manipulating the situation to string you along some how. Tread carefully or just move on to another chick who has none of this baggage. Simplify your dating life.
 

billtx49

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She’s just Another woman thinking omission of a fact is not a lie…
The What he doesn’t know won’t hurt me variety…
The big concern here is can he ever future trust her now after her opening act.
 

mrgoodstuff

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She’s just Another woman thinking omission of a fact is not a lie…
The What he doesn’t know won’t hurt me variety…
The big concern here is can he ever future trust her now after her opening act.
What you don't know DOES hurt you. Having a wife that goes behind your back and shuts doors that may be opportunities for you, or makes it harder for you to move socially, you can feel that and it tears up your confidence. It hurt you, and you weren't sure why that was happening.

A wife that cvcks you, but makes up a excuse that she has severe ovary bruising and "cannot have sex", 3,6,9,12 months go by, no sex, no affection, no sexual attention. However another guy outside of the house is having her kiss his azz and make all his sexual fantacies come true. You don't know why but you feel "diminished" from before when you guys had sex, your dyck doesn't get all the way hard, maybe 80%, and it takes an effort for that to happen. You are not sure why, and you blame it on aging or stress. When the problem is very simple.

The poker table that your wife represents has another guy setting at it. Your wife is the house. She's taking your money and making you lose artificially EACH and every time,, and she's giving all the "stuff" to the other guy. Your "stuff" decreases, his "stuff" is supercharged. And you don't know exactly why but you can feel it. What you don't know DID hurt you.
 

billtx49

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What you don't know DID hurt you.
Yes, of course it hurts you the man.
It’s why I’m a firm believer that omission of the truth is basically a Lie.
She basically lied to OP about her status and what she was doing by internally thinking what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him….
A man cannot trust a woman like this. She’s trash because of how she treats men in regard to the truth…
 

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Machine10033

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Seeing a girl for close to a month - started out once weekly, currently about twice weekly. Lots of sex, very passionate, shared interests, etc - I dig her.

Our second date she told me she was married at 20 but has been separated for a few years- not a big deal I figured. I don’t care if a girl was married, as long as she isn’t still married...

Only recently did she finally reveal she, in fact, is still married, but separated. Has been for some time now (multiple years). However the keyword there is “multiple years”. Why not split sooner? She made reasons about him being difficult, her family still wanting him as part of their family, lotta bulls***

She’s very open about the details of her past relationship and why it was bad (addictions, gambling, turned out to be someone different/lying and deceit).


I plan to just ask her if she had a plan or timeline or else I’m just have to be out probably - I don’t want to be second fiddle to a married girls man, even if they’ve been apart for a good amount time. They’re still bound together...

Can you guys let me know thoughts? I would be pretty damn happy if she wasn’t friggen married...
Had a similar experience it was an attempted branch swing. She was up front from the start claiming she was separated... until one day I was having lunch with my boss and got a text saying her husband found our texts and left the house to kill himself. I was so hungry and literally spit my food back onto my plate,

I would stay away.... plenty of real single girls out there. There is a reason her marriage failed it’s not your issue... your not a rebound.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Had a similar experience it was an attempted branch swing. She was up front from the start claiming she was separated... until one day I was having lunch with my boss and got a text saying her husband found our texts and left the house to kill himself. I was so hungry and literally spit my food back onto my plate,

I would stay away.... plenty of real single girls out there. There is a reason her marriage failed it’s not your issue... your not a rebound.
Their marriage probably failed because she was cheating on him.
 

Machine10033

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Their marriage probably failed because she was cheating on him.
Exactly... and she needs the next branch! That’s why the sex is so good... it’s pretty much her trying to break the 100meter record to secure that next resource. Rest assured girls like this are playing multiple dudes at once. If you bail she won’t be down for long.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Exactly... and she needs the next branch! That’s why the sex is so good... it’s pretty much her trying to break the 100meter record to secure that next resource. Rest assured girls like this are playing multiple dudes at once. If you bail she won’t be down for long.
Sexual response artificially inflated in survival mode to obtain next resource. If one of them is stupid enough to go with her, she will get what she wants and the artificially high driven desire will drop. Those two might even find outside of their sexual stupor that they actually don't even like each other.
 

Black Widow Void

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@BJP1991

I'd take most of the above responses with a grain of salt. Well, unless you enjoy seeing a lot of butt-hurt projection and/or chest-thumping (which I doubt you do).

Here's a questions for you.
Did she volunteer her current situation?
or...
Did she slip up and say something that needed to be addressed?

Point is... we have *all* embellished a story at times and then... when the timing seemed right, we try to right our wrongs.
If she volunteered the info (without being busted) . give her some wiggle-room... but not too much. If you two are seeing each other more frequently, then I'd say that you are entitled to understand why she has chosen not to immediately file for divorce.
 
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