"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Girl gave me her number... and I failed

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Snowman23

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update:

called her and apologized. said said I woke her up at 4 am and she was pretty mad. said her schedule is tuesday-sunday. I was like, well if you're out and about we should get together sometime and have a drink. she said "we'll see".

is this the end? lol
 
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"We'll see" usually means no in women language, yet she told you her schedule.

Try calling her one more time in like 2 weeks. If she won't get together with you then, don't bother with her anymore.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DonJoseCantosie

Master Don Juan
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hanson, shut up.

Snowman, Obey is right. Give it one more shot after a week or two i'd say and if she aint interested, then i'd give it a rest.
 

No Leaf Clover

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Wait a minute. She told you her schedule and you said we should go out for drinks sometime? lol what is that supposed to mean? She could think you're playing games.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Aragon034

Master Don Juan
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WTF!

4 am?

WTF are you doing calling at such an ungodly hour!? If you'd called me at that hour i'd pour a carton of milk on your head at the first possible opportunity!

to a chick that REEKS of desperation!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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midnite

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I had to register for this one.

Some people aren't paying attention to what's going on here.

You were gonna meet up with her, then called back drunk and said no. You brought up her ex and you said she told you to 'fvck off'. Then you were singing on her voicemail at 4 a.m. You managed to get her back on the phone the day after and apologized. She told you her schedule and said we'll see about drinks sometime.

This chick's giving you every chance she can.

I would pursue it.
 

BeyondCharm

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You wrote that your initial problem is that when you drink, you'll say anything to get what you want. Unfortanetly for many drinkers, this is a reoccuring problem that they have absolutely no control over. They attempt to moderate drinking and fail miserably and their relationships suffer as a result over it. Even when they are their "better self" and sober, it does not take long before they go on another binge or drinking spree and then the damage occurs again and this time it is worse because it is a reoccurence of a problem they promised their friend/partner as well as themselves that they would fix. This is the first area of your life you could take a closer look at, because if it has in the past and continues in the present to affect your relationships then you may want to seek help from those who have been there in similar situations and can understand your problem for what it truly is.

As far as the relationship you are attempting to build with this girl is concerned, "sweet talking" and "saying what you think they want to hear" will come accross as superficial and it is insincere. Sometimes we sweet talk someone when we do not wish to be truly honest with them or ourselves about the mistakes we made.

Lastly, there is much to be gained by learning to accept people and their decisions that you cannot change because it will allow you to live anxiety, resentment and jealousy free. To do so in my opinion requires faith in a power greater than myself that I can accept there are some things things I cannot change and some things that I can that will take courage. When we are honest with ourselves, we can make true spiritual progress and our lives will reflect a better quality as a result of this progress if we are thorough and persistent.
 

Snowman23

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another update:

I called this chick 2 more times (I was tipsy) and she didn't answer. About a half hour later I dialed from a friends phone just to see if she wasn't picking up before becuase it was me. Well, she didn't answer that time either. That's a good sign, she probably just wasn't around.

I'm gonna lay off for a week or two now and see what happens.
 

BeyondCharm

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Snowman23 said:
another update:

I called this chick 2 more times (I was tipsy) and she didn't answer. About a half hour later I dialed from a friends phone just to see if she wasn't picking up before becuase it was me. Well, she didn't answer that time either. That's a good sign, she probably just wasn't around.

I'm gonna lay off for a week or two now and see what happens.
You are still worrying about what she is doing and thinking. Why she didn't answer her phone is not important. You are looking for justifications and excuses for her not taking your call. What has been more beneficial to me is learning to accept there are some things including the behaviors and decisions of others I cannot change and that there are some things I can take change including my responses to others which takes courage and thorough honesty with oneself.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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