"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Girl gave me her number... and I failed

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Snowman23

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update:

called her and apologized. said said I woke her up at 4 am and she was pretty mad. said her schedule is tuesday-sunday. I was like, well if you're out and about we should get together sometime and have a drink. she said "we'll see".

is this the end? lol
 
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"We'll see" usually means no in women language, yet she told you her schedule.

Try calling her one more time in like 2 weeks. If she won't get together with you then, don't bother with her anymore.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DonJoseCantosie

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hanson, shut up.

Snowman, Obey is right. Give it one more shot after a week or two i'd say and if she aint interested, then i'd give it a rest.
 

No Leaf Clover

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Wait a minute. She told you her schedule and you said we should go out for drinks sometime? lol what is that supposed to mean? She could think you're playing games.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Aragon034

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WTF!

4 am?

WTF are you doing calling at such an ungodly hour!? If you'd called me at that hour i'd pour a carton of milk on your head at the first possible opportunity!

to a chick that REEKS of desperation!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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midnite

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I had to register for this one.

Some people aren't paying attention to what's going on here.

You were gonna meet up with her, then called back drunk and said no. You brought up her ex and you said she told you to 'fvck off'. Then you were singing on her voicemail at 4 a.m. You managed to get her back on the phone the day after and apologized. She told you her schedule and said we'll see about drinks sometime.

This chick's giving you every chance she can.

I would pursue it.
 

BeyondCharm

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You wrote that your initial problem is that when you drink, you'll say anything to get what you want. Unfortanetly for many drinkers, this is a reoccuring problem that they have absolutely no control over. They attempt to moderate drinking and fail miserably and their relationships suffer as a result over it. Even when they are their "better self" and sober, it does not take long before they go on another binge or drinking spree and then the damage occurs again and this time it is worse because it is a reoccurence of a problem they promised their friend/partner as well as themselves that they would fix. This is the first area of your life you could take a closer look at, because if it has in the past and continues in the present to affect your relationships then you may want to seek help from those who have been there in similar situations and can understand your problem for what it truly is.

As far as the relationship you are attempting to build with this girl is concerned, "sweet talking" and "saying what you think they want to hear" will come accross as superficial and it is insincere. Sometimes we sweet talk someone when we do not wish to be truly honest with them or ourselves about the mistakes we made.

Lastly, there is much to be gained by learning to accept people and their decisions that you cannot change because it will allow you to live anxiety, resentment and jealousy free. To do so in my opinion requires faith in a power greater than myself that I can accept there are some things things I cannot change and some things that I can that will take courage. When we are honest with ourselves, we can make true spiritual progress and our lives will reflect a better quality as a result of this progress if we are thorough and persistent.
 

Snowman23

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another update:

I called this chick 2 more times (I was tipsy) and she didn't answer. About a half hour later I dialed from a friends phone just to see if she wasn't picking up before becuase it was me. Well, she didn't answer that time either. That's a good sign, she probably just wasn't around.

I'm gonna lay off for a week or two now and see what happens.
 

BeyondCharm

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Snowman23 said:
another update:

I called this chick 2 more times (I was tipsy) and she didn't answer. About a half hour later I dialed from a friends phone just to see if she wasn't picking up before becuase it was me. Well, she didn't answer that time either. That's a good sign, she probably just wasn't around.

I'm gonna lay off for a week or two now and see what happens.
You are still worrying about what she is doing and thinking. Why she didn't answer her phone is not important. You are looking for justifications and excuses for her not taking your call. What has been more beneficial to me is learning to accept there are some things including the behaviors and decisions of others I cannot change and that there are some things I can take change including my responses to others which takes courage and thorough honesty with oneself.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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